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AIBU?

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Original poster

How to let him down?

86 replies

MollyPolli · 21/04/2019 15:49

I'm on my third date with a man who is clingy. Please read my previous post for context. He has spent a fortune bringing me to the seaside and is still being clingy and I really need to tell him its not going anywhere but how?!?! I have found out today he can't get his penis erect so sex is very hard too. He will be devastated when I tell him, but how? I know its really early days but I'm staying in same hotel as him tonight so don't want him murdering me in my sleep.

OP posts:
Ewitsahooman · 21/04/2019 15:53

Be kind but firm and stick to the classics - it's not working out, it would be unfair on you both for you to pretend there are romantic feelings there when there simply aren't, you've had a nice time on your three dates but you're not taking it any further.

Is he sharing your room? If he is then book yourself a single room for tonight so he doesn't get any ideas about talking you into making up.

VictoriaBun · 21/04/2019 15:57

Of your sharing a room, ahead you say you have concerns about intention( expecting sex ) then I would pay half for the trip away and tell him you see him as a great friend but need more time to see if it will become sexual. I'd like to think he would be happy to go with that. Then once back home you can begin to cool it ( or dump him !)

Wheresmyvagina · 21/04/2019 15:58

I haven't seen your previous post but for future NEVER do anything like go away with a man at such an early stage in dating, and never let him pay for more than half a dinner at that stage.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/04/2019 16:15

I'm not trying to sound harsh, but you really can't worry about his feelings because you are not responsible for them. Yes, he may be upset to get dumped, but that's just the way life is, and you CERTAINLY shouldn't keep dating him just to avoid awkwardness. This relationship is over and done, so break away as quickly as possible. Be polite and kind, but get it over with.

PotteringAlong · 21/04/2019 16:18

Same hotel or same hotel room? BIG difference.

sackrifice · 21/04/2019 16:19

Change hotels?
Go home?

UCOinanOCG · 21/04/2019 16:20

Are you sharing a room?

Nicknacky · 21/04/2019 16:20

If it’s a third date do you actually know this man or is he a complete stranger that you have had three dates with?

PinkHeart5914 · 21/04/2019 16:25

Honestly?

I’d wait until I was at home to tell him, but then I’m a wimp.

I wouldn’t have sex tonight, well not that you can on account of his soft cock. Then once I was home I’d send a message saying unfortunately this isn’t working for you.

You’ve been on 3 dates so I see nothing wrong with being a wimp here. If you’ve been together then yes a face to face conversation would be needed but that isn’t the case

WhyTho · 21/04/2019 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Merryoldgoat · 21/04/2019 16:30

I wouldn’t have sex tonight, well not that you can on account of his soft cock.

Sorry but this made me lol Grin

bigchris · 21/04/2019 16:35

God Why did you agree another date and to say overnight

Just go home

Poor guy, don't string people along next time

Wildrose19 · 21/04/2019 16:40

Go home. If you really can’t, keep your distance tonight if you can eg no sex, get home tomorrow then dump him.

If he is needy how can you dump him then spend the night with him. Also you don’t know him so I would be worried about how he would react.

Original poster
MollyPolli · 21/04/2019 16:40

Thanks for all your replies. Think I'll finish with him tomorrow but not let him spend anymore on me tonight. Feel so bad because he's spent lots on me. We are sharing a room. He's very into me already posting on Facebook about us. Ibe tried to talk to him about it but he doesnt seem to curb it. Limp dick is the last straw but I feel soooo bad.

OP posts:
Motheroffeminists · 21/04/2019 16:43

After reading your other post I'm baffled as to why you agreed to go on a third date and to a bloody hotel!! He said I love you on the second date? Jeez, please be careful and go home if you can.

Motheroffeminists · 21/04/2019 16:44

At least you know why he didn't talk about sex!! Google love bombing and don't have him connected to you on fb.

Sagradafamiliar · 21/04/2019 16:47

You don't like him- why have you allowed him to spend so much on you and why are you acting like a couple (Hotel room, fb posts) ?

sackrifice · 21/04/2019 17:00

Why can't you go home?

MrsKrabbapple · 21/04/2019 17:03

Don't stay in a hotel room with him. Either go home or book a room in a nearby hotel and go home tomorrow. Where are you?

legolimb · 21/04/2019 17:06

Go home.

It will be a lot easier than staying the night.

Motheroffeminists · 21/04/2019 17:11

Op was told to run from this guy on her thread yesterday and she didn't come back to the thread. Now she's in a hotel with himHmm

NorthernKnickers · 21/04/2019 17:18

OP...how old are you? How experienced are you yourself when it comes to dating?

I've read your previous threads and you don't seem to have taken on board ANY of the support or advice offered, and continue to put yourself in these vulnerable (and quite frankly ridiculous!!) situations, then come on here asking for more advice!

For example, yesterday you asked what to do after this 'inexperienced' man told you he loved you after only the second date. You said it made you uncomfortable. You weren't sure about taking things further. It felt creepy. People told you it was a red flag and that this was not normal behaviour.

Yet, 24 hours later...you're in a bloody hotel room with the man, on the THIRD DATE! Who the fuck does that when they are already concerned about him???

You are really playing with fire...either that, or you are attention seeking on here!

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 21/04/2019 17:19

OP what are you playing at? Just yesterday you were posting saying this guy creeped you out and said he loved you on the second date (!) but now you’re in a hotel with him?! Go home. NOW.

Wildrose19 · 21/04/2019 17:24

Op might not be able to get home on Easter Sunday.

SilverySurfer · 21/04/2019 17:25

You ignored the advice of every person on your other thread so here you are in a hotel with him. What was the point of asking? He appears to be paying for everything, is that why you're reluctant to finish it? Why would you let him spend so much money on you when you have no intention of staying with him?

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