My first CF thread 😱

[Donotunderstandmyhouse]

Hi all!

I've read lots about cfers on here but now I think I actually have one?! Or maybe the heat and being 7 months pregnant is making me go mad ....

Anyway! Just had garden done last weekend so I'm enjoying it lots now it's hot :-) ddog is also enjoying the new sprinkler! Today we planned on having a bbq at about 3/4 with some family members coming round. Dh was just outside setting it all up (getting bbq out cleaning it etc).

Ndn (who I know enough to say hi to/take parcels in but that's about it) has just messaged me on fb to ask if we are having a bbq. I assumed she was asking because of washing or something so I said yes at about 3. She then replied asking if she could use it too as there garden is a state and they have no bbq? I said they were welcome to join us if she liked (they have always seemed nice and I'm up for making new friends!). Anyway she didn't respond at first but now she's messaged saying no thank you they are going to an Easter egg hunt later but if they could use it before they go at about 2 that would be great????

What on Earth?! I've just replied saying I don't think that will work for us (fave mumsnet phrase!) 😂 but Aibu to think she's a cf? Or am I just not being neighbourly?

*cater not career

@MRex yes it was a bit silly (even if the risk of falling off the roof was slim 🙈) dh has already told me off twice today for over doing it 🤦🏻‍♀️

God no. Don't encourage the CF! Before you know it, they'll have installed a gate in the fence and be using the BBQ and your garden without asking because 'oh, you weren't using it, were you?'!!

Omg this would make me so uncomfortable. Keep updating op!

If they do rock up later expecting to be fed, just say the bbq has cooled too much now and there's no charcoal left to relight it

Or say yes, you can borrow bbq tomorrow, dh will drop it round to you. I doubt they'll want to borrow it if they have to supply their own charcoal!

Or suggest that supermarkets sell disposable ones..

God I am terrible at reading between the lines :-/ I didn't even think about that @BrutusMcDogface.

Also (and this is a drip feed so I apologise in advance) but we have a shared entrance to our gardens so we do pretty much nearly already have a shared gate 😂 you could literally step over it 😂 if I come home one night and find them on my decking I'll be sure to tell you all haha

I hope the dear neighbours arrive at quarter past six!

They are going out now I can see them loading their kids into the car. I literally have no life on maternity and have become some weird street stalker.

Well done OP, excellent CF rebuffing!

It IS excellent re-buffing - however CF neighbour seems to be skilled in the Art of CFery, and is riposting impressively!

Continue to parry, OP!

You are doing this for all of us, not just for yourself. CFs have necks of brass and will fight for what they perceive as their entitlements until hell freezes over.

Try blindsiding her, or making sure that there is only a half-empty bottle of Tesco own-label sweet sherry left when they arrive. That stuff is fith! (It would be worth buying a bottle, pouring half down the sink to kill the other 0.01% of germs that domestic can't cope with, and keeping the remainder for your "guests"). It's cheaper than meths from what I remember . . . and rather less palatable . . . .)

*domestos, not domestic

Fuck OFF, autocorrect!

Hahaha
Can't believe she wanted to use your bbq , maybe she thought it was too cf to invite herself round .

@SchadenfreudePersonified I am quite proud of myself! 😃 I have been trying to be more assertive with my mil (to not much avail) and set more boundaries as I do tend to let people take the piss. Perhaps this is the new me 😂

I haven't got any sherry unfortunately 😔 however I have got lots of wedding champagne left that we were going to open tonight (toasting ds new job) so I could make sure that's all drank before they arrive and then leave the bottles out while serving them my very finest blue wkd and dhs disgusting larger?

Also would like it noted that I have the blue wkd for my younger sister who is new to drinking and could probably get drunk from using alcoholic hand gel.

I bet you and CF ndn end up being besties.

@Herland ha imagine! Tbf that's what I hoped when I first invited them round as I think she is also on maternity atm and I could do with a friend! Now I'm not so sure...particularly a bit of a cheeky friend who lives next door!

Donotunderstand I fully admire your dedication to updating us, you're like one of those brave roving reporters wearing headphones and shouting live action into a microphone.

Your neighbour is shaping up to be a Lesser Spotted BbqLodger, a rare species in the genus Cocklodgerius. This is fantastic! (for us) you're going to have such an entertaining maternity leave, can't wait to hear all about it.

@Tilikum thank you! I'm getting a bit big headed here...dh just told me to calm down as I've been reading all the posts out to him. I don't think he understands. Probably won't LTB yet but hopefully with time he can get on board with the importance of updating the thread.

She's not been REALLY cheeky just a bit cheeky so hopefully you can still be maternity leave friends and forget the friendship started when she was too lazy to do her own BBQ!

While wanting to use the bbq at 2, when you wanted to use it a 3, is a bit off, I don't think it's particularly odd or rude to ask to borrow your bbq - obviously not at a time you were using it, though. That would be a neigbhbourly thing to do. I've lent my bbq to neighbours before. As equally, they've lent me theirs.

@UCOforAC12 yes I am just playing in jest 😊 hopefully they will come round tonight and we will realise they are normal people :-) it would be great to have a mum friend!

A cheeky friend who lives next door sounds like MN gold. Think of the stuff you could lend her that she’d then sell on FB or always insist that play dates are round your house then never host back. I’m already looking forward to your future threads 😬

If she does come later on, remind her that petrol stations sell those disposable bbq’s so it would really be no hassle for HER to buy one of those to use HERSELF.

Maybe we will be back in time tonight if you're still out ;)

My apologies if I've got the wrong end of someone else's stick here, but does this mean she'd be using your BBQ while you are out?

She’s such a CF! If she says anything else, I would be very clear, say something like ^To be clear, are you saying you only want to use our BBQ when we aren’t using it?! Because I have to say I find that rather rude?’. Actually you’ve done quite well ‘misunderstanding’ her message. You’ve suggested she come round when you are using it instead of agreeing to have her use it separately.

On a different note, I knew someone who drank alcohol hand gel. He was very sick!

@Knittedfairies haha no we aren't going out so I assumed she meant if we were still out in the garden she would pop round :-)