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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed with this gift?

136 replies

Pramgate · 21/04/2019 12:33

Name changed because I don't want to look like an ungrateful cow.

I have a young toddler and im also about to give birth, and I was very kindly bought a double stroller as a recent birthday gift (I didn't ask for it, it was suggested as they knew i needed one and I graciously accepted because my son isn't a reliable walker yet and I was going to need one regardless). They chose the pram. In terms of size, structure and practicality it just doesn't work for me and I'm gutted because it was a gift.

It has arrived and I don't know whether I'm being a hormonal idiot or just being practical but it's just too big and bulky.

I don't have ample space for it even when folded down as my flat is very compact. It's extremely heavy, hard to turn and I can see it being a problem on transport due to it's size.

I don't drive at the moment so rely heavily on busses and tubes to get around.

I feel terribly guilty for not being happy with it. It looked relatively lightweight online, at least alot more so than in person.

I also don't think it's the most practical for a newborn?

Can I have some thoughts please, or a mumsnet kick up the arse for being an ungrateful cow. Link below

www.google.com/search?q=vidaxl+double+pram&client=ms-android-samsung&source=android-browser&prmd=sivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiksoXgh-HhAhVCElAKHQ5PAwAQ_AUoAnoECAwQAg&biw=360&bih=520#imgrc=SOLeRp6tUX5YdM

OP posts:
BlackCatSleeping · 21/04/2019 14:28

I used to take my baby jogger city mini on the bus. It’s a great buggy, so light and easy to manouver. It folds down small as well.

I think with something like a buggy, it’s such a personal thing. If you can pluck up the courage to talk to them, hopefully they won’t take offense.

It’s a bit of a crap birthday present for you though. They don’t sound very thoughtful. Sad

MrsWillGardner · 21/04/2019 14:29

I had a very very similar version moons ago. Back seat was only suitable from 6mths. And yeh, very bulky. Not a great pushchair imo.

BedraggledBlitz · 21/04/2019 14:31

Could you just say to them "I love it but am gutted that it doesn't fit in the cupboard. Could we swap it for xxx?"

Floralnomad · 21/04/2019 14:34

Just tell them that you’ve pushed it around the flat and it’s way too heavy and that’s without putting the extra weight of dc and shopping in it and you’d rather they returned it than it being a huge waste of their money as it won’t get used .

Original poster
Pramgate · 21/04/2019 14:34

Knowing them like I do, I think however tentatively I go about mentioning the fact I want to change it they're going to be hugely offended and get the hump Sad

The good news is I've managed to fit it into the storage cupboard - just.

It's going to be a massive pain wheeling it in and out and packing it away on a daily basis though, not that I have a choice because it can't just sit in my living room as there's no floor space for it.

OP posts:
TheInvestigator · 21/04/2019 14:36

That's just how long tandem pram are if they need to be suitable for a newborn.

I had one. Its long. And they are so front heavy, getting them up the kerb is impossible (for me anyway).

Usuallyinthemiddle · 21/04/2019 14:38
  • whilst ds2 was tiny, flat at the back, was very front heavy with toddler! So hard to push. And couldn't fit in car. I was housebound til DS1 could walk well enough. Hated it. Please ask to swap it! Blush
Usuallyinthemiddle · 21/04/2019 14:39

Our old NDN made it into a brilliant go-cart eventually!

stickerqueen · 21/04/2019 14:41

my friend had this same double she had no issues with the size she uses it on the tube and buses.

if it really don't suit your needs you should say something.

Ceebs85 · 21/04/2019 14:42

No, I wouldn't be happy with that either. Tandems are hard enough for twins let alone when the weight isn't evenly distributed. I've got 2 under 2 and would never have got a tandem. Aside from anything they like looking at each other.

Given you say you're quite short and not strong it's really not going to be practical for getting out and about/onto busses/up and down kerbs etc. Don't give it a test run, swop it and explain why to the gifter.

Prequelle · 21/04/2019 14:42

I don't know why anyone would think it appropriate to buy something like this without input from the person they are buying it for.

Drogosnextwife · 21/04/2019 14:45

You could say there was a fault with it and you had to return it but they didn't have another one and you had to chose something different?

Original poster
Pramgate · 21/04/2019 14:57

They've already asked if all the parts were there and whether there are any faults and I told them no Blush

OP posts:
Usuallyinthemiddle · 21/04/2019 14:58

Can't you tell them you've put weight in it and you can't push it? And you wouldn't want to waste their incredibly thoughtful gift...

Kokeshi123 · 21/04/2019 15:02

Can you make up some kind of vague excuse that blames some external factor?

"The hospital are concerned that the birth may have put a bit of stress on the baby's spine [or whatever], and said that he/she needs a pram that lies completely flat/has a particular type of suspension/allows the baby to be put in and taken out in a particular way etc. So unfortunately they said we had to exchange this pram for a different one."

SunshineCake · 21/04/2019 15:03

I have used a tandem double and side by side double in my job as a nanny and I'd never buy a tandem. Narrow is great but all the weight is in the front.

It's time to be brave. Do it by text or letter if easier. Explain you are so grateful for the very generous gift but due to X and X it isn't going to be easy to use it. You'd love to be able to exchange it for X model and would they prefer cash or cheque for the difference? No asking permission. Just being a grown up that you make your own decisions.

TheInvestigator · 21/04/2019 15:07

For goodness sake. Don't make up some ridiculous excuse.

Just tell them you thought this type of pram would suit you but now that's you've tried it you realise it just won't work so you're exchanging it for a side-by-side.

Their response is their issue.

escorpion · 21/04/2019 15:10

My husband bought a buggy for our son based on the cheap price. I hated it and nearly cried. It looked so cheap and I didn't know how it would fare on the uneven pavements where we lived. So I took it back and paid for a nicer one in the sales which was lightweight, folded with one hand and had wheels you could fix or allow to move. It was the best investment I ever made for my baby. I still use it with him at three plus years old. So considering this will be something you will use every day for a long while it has to be something you like and which is functional for you. So if you are not happy exchange it for something else, you will not regret it!

3dogs2cats · 21/04/2019 15:10

Hi. I really think it would be ok to get back to them and share your fears. They won’t be offended , they want to help.. I can’t understand he they didn’t give you the cash to get your preferred option. I just bought 1st grandchild’s pramin that way.

cheeseandpineapple · 21/04/2019 15:24

Echoing all of the above, be brave OP, slightly awkward conversation in the short term versus months of awkward challenges.

Bite the bullet and say you’d like to swap for a side by side as you’ve been trying it out and it’s heavier than you expected and you’ve been recommended side by side.

The person may surprise you and it might not be awkward at all but if it is, then they are being unreasonable not you.

FuriousVexation · 21/04/2019 15:27

Is the gift giver likely to ever see you using it? EG would they be likely to visit and say "Come on, let's take the kids to the park!" or similar?

Having said that, there's a large part of me that's saying "So what if s/he takes the hump. That's up to her/him. You need to do what's right and manageable for you and your DC. Exchange the thing for something that meets your needs."

ScaredofMomo · 21/04/2019 15:29

Tell them you have just tried out a friends and you can't get it up the kerb?

You will regret it. It's much better to tell them when it's new. They should be able to get a refund if it was bought online because of the distance selling act.

Just think... what if you end up having a c section? That will make it even harder to push and manoeuvre!

PregnantSea · 21/04/2019 15:32

It's definitely fine for you to tell them you're going to swap it. I'm surprised someone would buy something like a buggy for someone else, unless they were in the shop with them and could try it out and choose one themselves.

You aren't being rude at all, if they get the hump with you then they're being very silly and it's not your issue.

melissasummerfield · 21/04/2019 15:32

If you are short and not strong i think pretty much all of these doubles are going to be a pain for you op, i had two under two and hated going out on my own because the double was so awkward and heavy, and im tall and sturdy Wink

VodkaRevelation · 21/04/2019 15:33

You either need to tell them, swap it without telling them or keep it.

If it’s from a shop you could go in and ask for an exchange. Taking it for a test run isn’t a good idea as the you’ll have to keep once used.