Or was my date really rude?

[gillteed]

Went on a date yesterday.
We met in a village half way between us.
It was a hour train for me and 45 mins for him.
My train home was 5pm and his was 5.05 pm.
I checked my app and seen my 5pm train was cancelled (if anyone is in north you will know northern still use the horrible 2 carriage pacer trains ) anyway the 4pm train was running 7 mins late so we rushed down for that.
I missed it by 2 mins.
His train came in at about ten past 4 and he jumped on and said bye leaving me alone till 6pm for the next train.
This is a train station without a coffee shop,any train staff,no vending machine and no toilets.
20 mins walk back into the village and I didn't really know the way.
Aibu to think he could have stayed as he wasn't going anywhere just home.
So I sat till 6 pm and I got home for 7.30 pm and he was home and 5pm !

[Herefortheduration]

Sorry to say but if he was enjoying your company he'd have stayed. Move on.

[Whisky2014]

The whole "I couldn't find my way: is a little pathetic. But I agree he doesn't care that much cause he wpuld have stayed. Once I'd found out I'd missed the 4pm train I'd have suggested a pub snack and drinks

[JacquesHammer]

He saw it as a waste of time rather than an opportunity to hang out for an extra hour with his date

See the thing is I suspect this has all been rather a misunderstanding.

Maybe he saw the OP rushing away as a sign she wasn’t enjoying things and wanted to finish the date earlier.

Either way, I don’t think a single instance of not waiting is indicative of anything in the “relationship” without further discussion.

The OP could have said “oh blow, missed the train, fancy heading back to the pub?”

I think being direct with people is far better than expecting people to guess the right course of behaviour, then using it as a stick to beat them with afterwards!

[Dana28]

think being direct with people is far better than expecting people to guess the right course of behaviour, then using it as a stick to beat them with afterwards!

^^this x 100

[BottleOfJameson]

Crikey I wouldn’t expect someone to hang around with me just because my train was cancelled. What a waste of time!

How would it be a waste of time? You're keeping them company!

[Dippypippy1980]

Pile on everything of your friends do this to you - and would you do this to a friend.

He’s not a kind or thoughtful person. Not the type I would want in my life.

[Saltystraw]

Gosh I hate all this equality crap.. I’m not fighting for it in every sense of the word.. yes I want to vote, and be equal in some respects but women are not men and men are not women and I don’t want us to be the same.. the differences we have are the best things about us. Im glad my boyfriend knows how to treat me as his equal while still be able to treat me like a lady.

[JacquesHammer]

How would it be a waste of time? You're keeping them company!

I don’t need to be kept company! Especially not when you’re both relying on public transport.

[whitehalleve]

Exactly what @Herefortheduration says.

Drop him

[kalinkafoxtrot45]

He just doesn’t sound that into you.

[JacquesHammer]

I don’t get the suggestions that he’s not that into the OP.

The OP had already ended the date early....by the same token doesn’t that suggest she’s just not that into him?

Of course he may not be interested, but I wouldn’t see this incident as proof of that.

[mummyhaschangedhername]

I would have expected him to wait too. However, might be worth asking him about his perspective if you like him. I did long distance with my now husband. The first time he came to mind to stay he was planning a week, but ended up leaving 1 day early and I was really upset. Turned out the journey was 10 hours driving and he was just tired and wanted to get home and have some time to recover before work. I get it now having done the journey myself and our first full week together was fairly full on,so i get it now, but equally I would be feeling they way you did now.

If you like him then ask, if you not so sure, then move on.

[Ratatatouille]

I think being direct with people is far better than expecting people to guess the right course of behaviour, then using it as a stick to beat them with afterwards!

I do agree with this generally, but in this instance I think I wouldn’t want someone to stay and spend time with me because I’d asked them to. I’d want them to want to be with me, and if they didn’t then that’s fine but I wouldn’t be going on another date. It’s very, very early days and at this point I wouldn’t be getting into any discussions about anything. I’d just move on.

[MrsEricBana]

Whether he was rude or not I don't know BUT the fact that he wasn't thinking, great that's another couple of hours together isn't good and I definitely wouldn't bother again. He's not keen enough is the bottom line. Sorry.

[RB68]

If the pub was 5 mins up the road you were being a bit wet not to go up there and have another drink or even tea or coffee whilst waiting etc.

[churchthecat]

I hate all this gallantry bollocks.

But why didn't you both just go back to the pub and have another pint til 6?

[JacquesHammer]

but in this instance I think I wouldn’t want someone to stay and spend time with me because I’d asked them to. I’d want them to want to be with me, and if they didn’t then that’s fine but I wouldn’t be going on another date

But in this instance the OP had already made it clear she wanted to leave early and change the parameters. At that point it would have been fair easier all round to have said “well that plan didn’t work, fancy heading for another drink”.

I mean he might assume rushing for a train was an excuse and the OP didn’t want to spend time with him.

I just feel the entire situation would have been avoided with better communication.

[Tinkoschminko]

He had options: he could’ve stayed, could’ve invited you to his. He just scarpered! I would see this as not that bothered. Unless he’s not the most flexible of thinkers...

[Thecabbageassasin]

She ended the date early for legitimate reasons. The planned 5:00pm train had been cancelled.
Common courtesy would tell me not to leave someone alone in those circumstances, I would at least ask my person if they would like company, I wouldn’t just hop ‘I’m alright jack’ onto the next train and leave them to it.

[JacquesHammer]

She ended the date early for legitimate reasons

Well sure, but he might have taken it as “oh god she doesn’t want to spend an extra hour with me and would rather get the earlier train”.

I genuinely don’t get why the OP wouldn’t just suggest they do something else.

[Happygolucky009]

Did you rush to try to catch the 4pm train thus ending the date an hour earlier than expected?
What time did you meet?
Did you consider and discuss you both catching a later train?

I guess if I was enjoying a date and the other person suddenly sought to dash off early, I would probably look to do the same!

[quizqueen]

What's the point in dating someone who lives two hours away and you both have to use public transport to see each other in the first place!

[ilikebeckerinmyoldage]

I really hope this isn't the won't drive/on a bike guy. That guy has had too many chances!

[Connieston]

In the early stages it's more usual to be desperate to spend every moment together. I'd agree he might not be as invested in the relationship if he was happy to pop off early, as opposed to have longer to chat and kiss.

[NunoGoncalves]

I'd bin him off. 4 dates in is extremely early days. If he's already being thoughtless and rude then imagine how it will be when he's really feeling comfortable

This, basically. Plenty of men out there and I'd rather be with one who at least OFFERS to do the nice thing in situations like this.