Or was my date really rude?

[gillteed]

Went on a date yesterday.
We met in a village half way between us.
It was a hour train for me and 45 mins for him.
My train home was 5pm and his was 5.05 pm.
I checked my app and seen my 5pm train was cancelled (if anyone is in north you will know northern still use the horrible 2 carriage pacer trains ) anyway the 4pm train was running 7 mins late so we rushed down for that.
I missed it by 2 mins.
His train came in at about ten past 4 and he jumped on and said bye leaving me alone till 6pm for the next train.
This is a train station without a coffee shop,any train staff,no vending machine and no toilets.
20 mins walk back into the village and I didn't really know the way.
Aibu to think he could have stayed as he wasn't going anywhere just home.
So I sat till 6 pm and I got home for 7.30 pm and he was home and 5pm !

@gilteed

Awful thoughtless rude selfish behaviour. DH said he wouldn't even do this a mate, let alone a woman he was dating. As a few posters have said, surely he should have jumped at the chance to spend more time with you. Real lack of chivalry, and just a horrible way for a man to treat a woman. (Or another man even!)

I expect if you complained, he would say 'well, you women fought for equality, so suck it up.' (And yeah I have heard men saying that!!!') As I said though, my DH said he would never do that to a male friend, let alone a woman he was dating, and wanted to keep seeing. As has been said, it doesn't sound like he is very interested!

I also wonder if you are the same poster who is dating a man who wouldn't pick you up from the station, and made you make your way to him, and didn't want to go out, but just wanted you to come for a shag?

Sorry if that's not you, but if it is; PLEASE don't let yourself be treated this way.

@Mari50

All the comments about gallantry and gentlemanly behaviour are making me nauseous.

Why? WTF is wrong with a man being gentlemanly and chivalrous towards a woman? I despair for humanity when I read shit like this, I really do!

The OP needs to bin this loser. As far as I'm concerned, she will have dodged a bullet!

I wonder if you live on our railway line OP. Hourly trains, single track, unexplained cancellations, old pacer carriages. We call the service Northern Fail.

Also thought of similar poster....
He was very rude.

It's a ltb from me.

Is this the guy from the 'pick me up' dance off? I haven't been keeping up.

At least you are now unencumbered by one less knob.

Forget him , he’s not interested

It's nothing to do with old fashioned chivalry - I'd have waited with a bloke in that situation or a female friend. If it was someone I really fancied I'd regard the extra time with them as a gift from Fate. I'd have been willing the train not to turn up, in fact!*

*though as another victim of Northern Fail, I probably wouldn't have to wish very hard!

Why? WTF is wrong with a man being gentlemanly and chivalrous towards a woman?

Because by definition equality would mean he would treat you no differently because he is a man and you are a woman!

Also you do sound a bit feeble if the village was only 20 minutes walk away, why didn't you go back there ? You could have asked someone the way

On the basis he wasn’t going to leave until 5pm anyway, then yes, he was rude. He should have waited around, at least until 5pm.

I'd dump him for sure, no decent guy would leave you standing alone at a station for 2 hrs, i'd txt him and the selfish git exactly what i thought of him

Any normal person would have gone back to a pub for the couple of hours! Or a walk round the village or something!

He was rude, no doubt.
But me and DH want to know, how was the date apart from that? Did he seem interested up to that point? Or was it uninspiring anyway?

Definitely rude! He wouldn’t get another date from me.

I feel like he's just not that into you. When I'm in the initial stages of dating with someone I genuinely fancied, I'd always try to prolong the date, not cut it short!

{Why? WTF is wrong with a man being gentlemanly and chivalrous towards a woman? I despair for humanity when I read shit like this, I really do! }

In this case it looks like he isn't really 'into' you but as a general case, women are demanding equality, this means that the effort to be made by (men) being chivalrous is eroded. It's all a dance, but if you don't want to play, don't then complain.
Both of you lose significant points for inability to communicate and think of alternative plans.
I believe the expression' they don't spoil a perfect couple' probably applies.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3562160-not-going-on-date-if-he-won-t-pick-me-up?pg=1&order=

OP, please tell me this isn't you?

Yeah he doesn't care. Bin him

I'd bin him off. 4 dates in is extremely early days. If he's already being thoughtless and rude then imagine how it will be when he's really feeling comfortable.
It's not really a matter of chivalry but rather basic courtesy and manners towards another human being. No matter who I was meeting - brother, sister, friend, colleague, date - I would not leave someone alone at a remote train station for 2 hours. I would keep them company and get a later train.

He’s not the twat that went to Halfords with his dB and bought a bike, and ditched op?

No more dates with this one, he sounds awful.

Crikey I wouldn’t expect someone to hang around with me just because my train was cancelled. What a waste of time!

I’d have pottered back to the village and gone to the pub again!

I presume you had a phone so you could find the way?

No 5th date, selfish arse with no manners!

If his train was in and an hour and he NEEDED to get that one, then 20 minutes into village and 20 out makes going in pointless. But he could have at least kept you company and gone in for 50 minutes of cannodling.

I'd say no to date 5 and tell him you assumed when he left you at the station alone for 2 hours it was indicative of his lack of interest in you

Maybe the OP was using a childminder and couldn’t be late back

I would have just gone for a walk if I was left waiting although if it was a friend waiting who expressed that they were uncomfortable with the situation I would have waited with them.
Male/female doesn’t come in to it.

Crikey I wouldn’t expect someone to hang around with me just because my train was cancelled. What a waste of time!

I think that's basically the problem. He saw it as a waste of time rather than an opportunity to hang out for an extra hour with his date. Surely most couples can’t wait to spend time together in the early days and would relish the chance to have an extra hour. I certainly wouldn’t have considered going home early to be a better prospect than being with DH at that point. Or now, for that matter.