Or was my date really rude?

[gillteed]

Went on a date yesterday.
We met in a village half way between us.
It was a hour train for me and 45 mins for him.
My train home was 5pm and his was 5.05 pm.
I checked my app and seen my 5pm train was cancelled (if anyone is in north you will know northern still use the horrible 2 carriage pacer trains ) anyway the 4pm train was running 7 mins late so we rushed down for that.
I missed it by 2 mins.
His train came in at about ten past 4 and he jumped on and said bye leaving me alone till 6pm for the next train.
This is a train station without a coffee shop,any train staff,no vending machine and no toilets.
20 mins walk back into the village and I didn't really know the way.
Aibu to think he could have stayed as he wasn't going anywhere just home.
So I sat till 6 pm and I got home for 7.30 pm and he was home and 5pm !

I'd be very upset by that behaviour

Rude and selfish.If he thought anything and enjoyed your company he'd have waited with you. Move on op.

"When he shows you who he is - believe him"
Run for the hills OP!

Yes - I wouldn’t see him again. I wouldn’t do that to any friend, unless circumstances dictated that I absolutely had to get home for a certain time.

Wouldn't be seeing him again, but genuinely interested as to why you didn't originally just decide to get the 6pm train and stay at the pub. You say it would have got you back too late, but surely it would have got you back by 8pm - hardly too late surely?

Yeah ltb, if he isn't going to be a gentleman then he doesn't deserve you. It's rude and I wouldn't make a man wait around for 2 hours on his own

If he isn’t interested enough in you to jump at the chance to spend more time with you at the beginning of a relationship, he isn’t going to put himself out five years down the line!

Sounds like he wasn't very interested / it wasn't going v well.
Wouldn't be messaging him again. It's a dead end.

Hopefully you won't agree to a 5th date.

It would be interesting to know if he thinks he's done nothing wrong and still wants another date or if he's already decided that was the end of the relationship. I'd wait to see if he asks then politely tell him why you don't want to see him again.

Selfish, 'I'm all right Jack' behaviour - not a keeper, OP.

If it was a first date then I wouldn’t be too bothered, the fact it was a 4th date would make me feel a bit angry, he could have taken a later train and waited with you. Ditch him x

Nah, rude and thoughtless. On a 4th date you're really getting an idea if you're seriously into someone and it's usually exciting and you want to be together nattering away nonstop. He's showing you that you don't matter that much. That's a long time to knowingly leave a date all on their tod! I wouldn't want a repeat performance myself

He doesn't sound very gallant, I must say.

Aibu to think he could have stayed as he wasn't going anywhere just home

Perhaps he had another date/place to be and just didn't want to admit it?

So he's either thoughtless and selfish or a liar. I wouldn't bother seeing him again, OP. You can do better!

As it was YOU that had to get back, not him, the fact that he didn’t WANT to stay says everything.

For me it’s not even about manners etc, it’s simply the fact that 4 dates in he didn’t jump at the chance to spend the extra time together.

No 5th date.

Is this the date that was going to take you for a drive but wouldn't pick you up?

baroness I wondered the same thing!

Personally I don’t see the issue, your an adult, you can’t wait on your own. You don’t need a snack etc...

He may have had plans that night. It’s notnhis fault the train was cancelled.

All the comments about gallantry and gentlemanly behaviour are making me nauseous. Bottom line is that neither of you are that keen because if I was on a date that was going well and my train was cancelled I’d be getting the later one and conversely if my date opted to leave early and then missed the train I’d be thinking ‘ah feck em, they obviously aren’t that keen, I’m cutting my losses’
If either of you were really into this the scenario you have described wouldn’t have happened.

It doesn't excuse the behaviour, but did he think you were ending the date prematurely and therefore things were off, and decide not to wait two hours for you to go home?

Is this the same man that wouldn't pick you up when you wanted to be?

Did you suggest going to do something else, like going back to the pub?

Ah, Mari50 beat me to it!

I would have stayed even with a casual friend, never mind a girl/boy friend in a situation like that.

Leaving you (vulnerable) in a place where there is nowhere to get refreshments etc is bloody bad-mannered!

You are well off out of it. Look on this as a stroke of good luck - he has shown you exactly what he is like. Don't ignore the message.

Would you have waited with him til at least your 5pm train if the positions were reversed? Yes a friend would, regardless of it being a date or not, he obviously doesn’t feel the same.
It was the middle of the afternoon you didn’t need him to look after you, but courtesy would have been nice.
I’m an older woman so this would not have been the done thing back in my dating days and I would have finished the relationship , is it different nowadays?

Odd not to both go back to the pub. Best not to bother with this one again OP.

Bad form, I wouldn’t be impressed. He sounds selfish, bin him off before he has a chance to display more selfish behaviour.

I was about to post that I agree with this...

If he isn’t interested enough in you to jump at the chance to spend more time with you at the beginning of a relationship, he isn’t going to put himself out five years down the line!

But actually...@Mari50 makes a really good point.

Not to go all schoolyard on you... but in terms of terminating the date early... you did it first OP!