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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel awful I've never taken my dd on holiday

102 replies

kevso · 21/04/2019 01:07

DD is 16. After reading the thread where people were saying how they go on holiday at least once a year, some people going up to four times, I just feel awful that I've never taken my dd away. We've never been abroad, and the only holidays we have been on have been UK camping holidays when she was 5/6 - and she doesn't remember them.

She's never even had the chance to go abroad with school. Some of my fondest memories of my childhood are our family holidays - cheap resorts with lots of ice cream and smiling in the sun! I feel almost as if by not giving her these memories I've failed her :( AIBU to feel this way? Should I have taken her abroad? All my friends go abroad at least every two years, with their DC.

OP posts:

user1473878824 · 21/04/2019 01:11

My mum was never able to afford to take me on holiday, here or abroad. It’s fine. It’s not going to have done any lasting damage to DD! Do not stress!

Widowodiw · 21/04/2019 01:11

You don’t need to take her abroad no. Has she had holidays in the uk after the ages of 5/6? I think if you can afford a weekend here or a week there then it’s truly worth it for the memories it makes. I’ve only ever taken my children uk but they don’t care about where they go as ling as the are having a holiday experience. We are going on Monday actually my daughters been counting down from 52 days to go.

Original poster

kevso · 21/04/2019 01:15

widowodiw No, the last holiday we went on was when she was 6. My family all live in the same town, so there's no holidays there. I look at the price of even 'cheap' holidays and can't even think about how I'd get that money, even though it always seems like we have just enough money throughout the month. Previous holidays were in a caravan my parents owned, but they sold that as they got older. I feel like I've already missed out on those 'magical' moments.

OP posts:

Apricot80s · 21/04/2019 01:15

I don't think she needs to go abroad but could you manage a short uk holiday this year? I think that would be nice for you all

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/04/2019 01:16

Is it lack of spare cash or lack of prioritising?

Original poster

kevso · 21/04/2019 01:16

Apricot I don't think I could manage one this year, in all honesty. Maybe next year, but by then she'll be 17 and that seems a bit late.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/04/2019 01:17

That looked passive aggressive but I x-posted with you!

Could you stick a few quid in a jar and save a bit over time and take her in a few years (when she can pay her way a bit)?

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/04/2019 01:18

I travel with my mum and we are twice your and your DD's age!

Original poster

kevso · 21/04/2019 01:18

MrsTerryPratchett A mix of both. I'm terrified to spend any extra money I have left in case there's an emergency, which has probably massively effected it.

OP posts:

Original poster

kevso · 21/04/2019 01:20

MrsTerry I've had a look at cheap city breaks in Europe, which I think would be easier to do as it's just the two of us and we like similar things, but I'd love to really be able to treat her and it not just be something we make do with. I feel like I'd need to, since I've not taken her for her whole life.

OP posts:

Butterymuffin · 21/04/2019 01:22

Could you do a couple of days somewhere with one night in a cheap hotel? Either the seaside or I'd say London as a city break. If she has any Inset days on Mondays, Sunday nights generally are cheaper in hotels.

Cheekyfeckery · 21/04/2019 01:27

We never went on holiday - a few days out in the summer.

I was 22 when I went overseas.

It’s fine.

But, as an adult I realise the value of holidays (mainly taking myself out of the home situation so not always having something to do, and spending time with the DCs). As a single parent, it’s far easier to go away than you think. You just have to be a little brave.

Even a caravan in the UK somewhere - just to get away from home, the chores and the routine of it all.

CarolDanvers · 21/04/2019 01:34

A couple of days in somewhere like Malaga? I got three easyJet flights there over Feb half term for £103.00 - hand luggage only, so for you and her that would have been £66.00. It's a stunning city, so much to see and do and the airport is very close to the city - a simple, direct train ride. Don't look at packages, do it yourself, way cheaper.

CarolDanvers · 21/04/2019 01:34

Sorry £62.00!

CarolDanvers · 21/04/2019 01:36

Wait wtf?! £68.00. Sorry it's late

Original poster

kevso · 21/04/2019 01:39

Carol How much was the hotel? I'm looking online and the flights seem really cheap, and it looks like a lovely place, exactly where I'd want to take her! I'm thinking that I could maybe try and figure it out so I could take her for her birthday, which is in April, but obviously would have to check how busy it was/prices.

OP posts:

Gingerkittykat · 21/04/2019 01:42

What about one of the Sun holidays for £10pp? I know in reality it costs more because you need to pay full occupancy with just 2 of you and will need money for travel and spends but would that be possible?

TheQueef · 21/04/2019 01:45

Passports up to date?

jesusishot · 21/04/2019 01:47

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. DD is old enough to understand that. And I've got more enjoyment out of cheap city breaks as an adult than most of the foreign holidays I got taken on as a child.

Original poster

kevso · 21/04/2019 01:48

TheQueef Hadn't even thought about that! Now she's 16, will she need an adult passport? I'm sure her dad would pay for hers, though.

OP posts:

SimplyPut · 21/04/2019 01:50

Could you afford to save £10 a week?

If you saved between now and her 18th you would have just over £1000 to have a holiday together.
For example...

to feel awful I've never taken my dd on holiday

danadas · 21/04/2019 01:52

We've never been on holiday either apart from a 3 day trip to see family in the UK. It just doesn't appeal to us. My son has been abroad twice with his school. My daughter isn't interested. That might change when they are adults but it just isn't something that we have ever done.

That doesn't mean we don't make memories. We go on lots of days out and do 'something' every day of the holidays when we are all off. It's just that we prefer to come home at the end of the day however late.

Weenurse · 21/04/2019 02:00

I had my first major holiday with DD2 last year when she was 20.
We went to USA for 3 weeks thanks to an inheritance from an uncle.
DD1 and I are planning Morroco this year.
You still have time to make memories

MADASANOWL · 21/04/2019 02:26

My parents never took us abroad when we were younger due to the costs involved and I would never want them to regret putting our home life first as opposed to stretching themselves to pay for something they couldn’t really afford as a treat. If anything it gave me something to look forward to when I started working thereby teaching me how to save and budget for such things. Now I’m nearing 30 and I’ve taken my parents on holiday abroad as well as my own family, and I’m planning and saving for a large family holiday next year for them as well as my own children and husband. My memories of these holidays will be treasured forever and if anything much clearer to recall than anything I could have experienced as a child (also helped by the better cameras we now have on our phones!)

midsummabreak · 21/04/2019 02:51

Can you plan birthday surprise at a Teen friendly holiday park for a few days or weekend of fun? Plan a picnic at night , a few days sightseeing?

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