to feel awful I've never taken my dd on holiday

[kevso]

DD is 16. After reading the thread where people were saying how they go on holiday at least once a year, some people going up to four times, I just feel awful that I've never taken my dd away. We've never been abroad, and the only holidays we have been on have been UK camping holidays when she was 5/6 - and she doesn't remember them.

She's never even had the chance to go abroad with school. Some of my fondest memories of my childhood are our family holidays - cheap resorts with lots of ice cream and smiling in the sun! I feel almost as if by not giving her these memories I've failed her :( AIBU to feel this way? Should I have taken her abroad? All my friends go abroad at least every two years, with their DC.

[UniversalAunt]

Swanage - shhhh, don’t tell anyone else.

[MingeOnFire]

My daughter didn't go on holiday in the UK until she was 9, first took her abroad at 16. She's 21 and now goes abroad regularly on her own.

Maybe save a little and take her abroad for her 18th. If you're on a low income have a look at the government help to save accounts

[Rememberallball]

We never went abroad as a family, holidays were either at a friend of the family’s cottage in a seaside resort (or another friend’s chalet once we outgrew the cottage) or camping - that was what my parents could afford and I never felt we missed out.

As an adult I took my parents on holiday abroad as a Christmas present one year and we booked a few more over the years until they died. My DSiS also took DM away once after DF died.

[farmergilesnomore]

OP on a practical note watch out for Ryanair/Easjet £9.99 flights, particularly in December. You could do a christmas present to Spain? We always go away over christmas now, the christmas lights in Malaga are amazing so we dont feel like we are losing out. If it is only the two of you you could do flights and self catering for £500 for a week. Buses are cheap so you could visit the resort towns very easily if that's your thing. Spain in December is lovely, you get winter sun and no crowds.

[DonPablo]

I felt like this. We'd managed a week here and there in this country, but never abroad. Last year I sold everything that I could... Clothes, toys, books, you name it and managed to get together enough to do a week in southern Spain. Cheap flights and s/c accommodation. We ate a couple of meals in the apartment and didn't go on any excursions but we had a lovely time. £600 PP. Could you do something like that?

[PixieBigShoes]

www.familyholidayassociation.org.uk

[Zoflorabore]

Hi op, had your dd mentioned holidays at all?

My ds is also 16 and thinks money grows on trees! His dad and I split up when he was 2 and he has a successful business and takes ds on some amazing holidays. I would never be able to afford anything like that.

What I'm planning on doing is this- buying one of those big ceramic pots ( under a fiver ) that says "holiday fund" on it and saving for a big holiday for his 18th which isn't until March 2021.
That way, I'm not putting loads of pressure on myself and the pot can only be opened by being smashed.

It seems that "everyone" is going away but that doesn't reflect reality. With social media constantly influencing us it's easy to think that other people are jetting off to exotic locations all the time. That's only a small minority and for many ( us included ) it simply isn't feasible.

Good luck

[BarbaraofSevillle]

If money is very tight, it is what it is. You've done your best with what resources are available.

But I wouldn't start by going abroad if you don't have much money. It will cost about £200 to get passports for both of you for a start, so that money would go a long way towards a great city break in the UK - you could still fly, eg if you live in London and go to Edinburgh, to get there quicker and add to the experience.

If you've literally almost never been away, anywhere new is an experience. Cities, countryside, spa, coast. If she's 16/17, can she get a part time job to bring a bit more money into the household, to free up money for a trip. If she's paying for her own phone and clothes, there's a bit of money that could pay for a UK city break.

[BarbaraofSevillle]

Oh, and what 'everyone' does on here is by no means typical of the population at large.

If you believed that, you'd think every DC has their own room with a double bed, eat blueberries by the tonne, and no-one is overweight.

[Groovee]

You have taken her on holiday... you've done UK based holidays. My kids have said some of our best holidays were in the UK. We've done holidays abroad too but the UK based ones seem to give them the fab memories "remember when we got to make our own rock?" Or "that day we went to the beach"

[RuffleCrow]

It's not too late to make some memories OP.

Foreign holidays not necessary - i take mine on holiday for a week in the UK each year. I have to save up all year to manage it but it's soo worth it. We're normally v lucky with the weather and half of it is just the joy of waking up somewhere new tbh. My eldest is 13 and she gets as excited as the rest of us.

[RoseMartha]

Could you book two or three nights in a premier inn or similar. It could be near or in a seaside town.Watch out for one with special deal and it can be fairly cheap. Or do you know anyone who can lend you a tent. You do not have to go far.

[PeoplesFrontOfJudith]

OP why don’t you get her onboard with saving for a special trip for her 18th, something you can both plan together. Getting her involved with budgeting, saving and pricing up options would be a very good life lesson I feel.
You haven’t let her down btw, there are plenty of us who grew up with just a few UK holidays, and aware of our parents struggles. Still turned out fine and more importantly responsible with money!

[mydogisthebest]

Holidays are lovely but are far from essential.

Growing up I think we had 3 holidays in total all in the UK. All very cheap and cheerful holidays but we loved them.

I didn't go abroad until I was 22 and that was a day trip to France! I flew for the first time when I was 30.

Me and DH try to go on holiday every year (always a cheap holiday usually to France or Belgium) but can't always afford it. We would both love to be able to have more holidays and see more of the world but we can't afford to and we accept that.

[Missingstreetlife]

Eating out, accommodation and transport cost more in cities, get rough guide to place you are staying from library and look at hostels, cheap cafes and deals on bus and train. Picnics are great, just buy bread and cheese or ham, tomato and fruit. Carry drinking water, buy in shops the locals use, not tourist places. Check out cheap and free activities, galleries, museums. Please do it op if you can, you will love it.
Also it's never too late, lots of adult children happy to spend a few days away with parents.

[JeanieJardine55]

My boys are 23, 21 and 12. Ds1 went abroad with the school once. Ds2 didn’t want to and Ds3 will get a choice when his turn comes. We have never been able to go as a family. We used to hire a caravan for a week at the seaside but haven’t been able to afford that for the last 5 years. We could go without other things ie. music lessons, swimming etc to save but I don’t think it’s worth that sacrifice for I week a year.

She can go herself when she’s older.

[whiteroseredrose]

Holidays aren't the be all and end all but it is nice to spend some time together away from the hassle of everyday life.

And they don't have to be abroad. (Our best ones as a family were camping around the UK, initially with a cheap tent package from Halford). A couple of nights in London in a Travelodge? Lots of museums are free and there are lots of cheap places to eat.

If you book a long way ahead and go slightly off season you can get a cheap few days City break abroad. I managed 3 nights in Rome the year before last and 4 nights in Florence last year, each time it was £500 total for flights (Inc seats!) and accommodation (apartment) for 4 people. £125 each. Italy seems to be very good value.

If you look for flights as soon as Ryanair / Easyjet schedules open you can get some real bargains (they're booking now till end of March). Sort by price on Booking.com and you'd be surprised what you can get.

[ReleaseTheBats]

Imo 16/17/18 is a lovely age to go on holiday with your daughter. Youth hostels in the UK are a cheap option, some are in great locations. You can get a private room or for even less, sleep in the shared (all female) rooms.

[IceCreamAndCandyfloss]

I never went away as a child. As an adult I know they are a luxury but as a child I dreaded returning to school after the hols to all the chatter of exciting holidays and had nothing to contribute. It just highlighted how very different our life was.

Consequently, mine now do go away. Everything I didn't have they do. I parent very differently thankfully.

[whiteroseredrose]

At the moment on Ryanair you could get return flights for the two of you Monday 10th February to Thursday Thursday 13th February (half term?) for £128 return for both of you (no seats reserved).

Le Finestre Di Luz B&B just near the Vatican looks nice and it would be £98 for both of you for 3 nights or Rome Sweet Home apartment for £148 (might want a damage deposit though).

[ReleaseTheBats]

Do you shop at Tesco OP? You can use Clubcard vouchers at Youth Hostels and Hotels.com (x3 value). Me and DD have had some lovely city breaks courtesy of Tesco.

[MariaNovella]

Holidays are not about “making memories” anymore than Christmas must be “magical”. That’s marketing speak.

A holiday is about having a change of scene in order to refresh, learn something new and spend time with loved ones.

[LibbyJeffries]

I'm on holiday at the moment with my 2 DC and DH. It's shit. DC constantly fighting, arguing, being really badly behaved, whitney and silly. I've been shouting a lot. I hope they don't remember this holiday. I don't think I have the stomach for another one for many years to come. When I think of the money we've spent, I could weep.

[BattenburgIsland]

We look on skyscanner to see where the cheapest flights are going to and just decide to go there!! Rent an Airbnb or even take a tent it its gonna be good weather and buy food from the supermarket to eat...
We've been some lovely places for very cheap this way...
Ignore travel agents and just use price comparison sites online... dont go all inclusive and be prepared to just slum it a bit.... you can still see the world it just takes a bit more effort!!
You can also look at those coaches Megabus.. your daughter is old enough that it wouldn't be too bad (would never consider this with young kids as the journeys are LONG) me and my husband went to Bruges once on the mega bus and we camped there for a week and it cost us 100 quid all in for the two of us including food which we just bought from a supermarket... this was a few years ago so it might cost a bit more now.... but it's certainly still very achievable!! I had a really lovely time, Bruges was like something from a fairytale!

[BattenburgIsland]

We are a family of 4 now and we still get abroad.... went to Spain (off season granted) for 5 days recently, for less than 100 quid per head. It just takes a bit of planning yourself rather than going to a travel agents. Skyscanner and Airbnb all the way. And be flexible with dates and airports.