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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to give my toddler a load of chocolate just to make somebody else happy..

55 replies

Februaryblooms · 20/04/2019 12:21

I have a 15 month old little boy, an older distant relative has kindly sent him an Easter box with a variety of different chocolate treats in such as eggs, some buttons, a chocolate bunny etc. There's quite alot of it for a child his age.

The annoying part is that they want me to video call them when he has it, so they keep messaging me asking when I'm going to give it to him. She's excited to see him get all excited about it (to be fair he's not that interested in chocolate, it's likely to upset his stomach and he couldn't care less about sweets anyway so it'll be a bit of an anti climax on her end)

I don't really want to give him a shit load of chocolate and make a big show of it just to make somebody else happy and keep putting it off saying we're busy etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Bambamber · 20/04/2019 12:26

Could you not just give him the box to open, video it and send the video? Don't actually open all the chocolate, just put it away for safe keeping and just give little bits as and when.

KC225 · 20/04/2019 12:30

Oh yes, agree film him opening the box. Then when he is in bed scoff the bloody lot. Tell your cousin, it was so kind but he is at the age where he not a massive fan of chocolate but you LOVED it.

PerpetualStudent · 20/04/2019 12:30

I would continue to be busy, or “Haha, sorry, we tried but DS wasn’t performing for the camera! Thanks again, byeeeeee”

Mumsymumphy · 20/04/2019 12:33

Is your son a performing seal? What are they expecting to see on the video call? If my memory serves me right (my youngest is now 8) a 15 month old is likely to open the box, take a few packets out and then walk/toddle/crawl off!
Of course them giving a gift is lovely but this craze for expectation of a 'reaction videos' is annoying, especially for a 15 month old. Could you just make a video of your DS looking nonplussed and send it them?!

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 20/04/2019 12:40

It's the expectation of him performing to the camera that has annoyed me a bit, he's exactly as you've described Mumsy.. He'll bang the box a bit, take something out and wander off. He's not going to sit there beaming and clapping at the sight of chocolate which is what she's hoping for.

She was the same at Christmas, wanted to see him opening his gift. He was 11 months old at the time and cared more about wrapping paper than anything else.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 20/04/2019 12:43

It's a nice way of saying Thank You. What's the big deal?

And give him as much or as little of the chocolate afterwards as you want.

It was a kind and generous thought. Aren't you glad someone is bothered about your family?

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 20/04/2019 12:43

I think I'm going to do as suggested and eat most of it myself Grin

OP posts:
ChodieFoster · 20/04/2019 12:45

How about you have some manners and thank her profusely for bothering to buy your offspring anything. She’s a cousin after all, not even a sister. Ungrateful.

HomeMadeMadness · 20/04/2019 12:46

Just do an Easter egg hunt with the box as the final prize. It'll be fun for him and make relative happy. My DC have always loved the hunt but rarely eat most of the chocolate.

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 20/04/2019 12:47

@Nanny0gg of course I am! I thanked her both before and after it arrived and said. I also sent her a crafty Easter card from DS as a thank you which I made with his limited assistance.

I just feel a bit bugged that she's hounding me a bit about making/sending videos and has an expectation of him that is going to be unfulfilled because he's not interested in boxes of chocolate and she wants to see him opening it all, getting excited and eating it.

OP posts:
EL8888 · 20/04/2019 12:47

It’s lovely she’s thought of him. But who expects a 15 month old to eat so much chocolate?!

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 20/04/2019 12:47

@ChodieFoster see above comment.

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 20/04/2019 12:48

I'd say thank you very much what a lovely thought, and you are going to ration it out as he's too little to eat lots of chocolate all at once. Say you will send her a photo of him enjoying his choc (stick a choc bunny in his hand, take a quick snap and remove it before he sqooshes it into the sofa).

Not every moment in life has to be videoed - I find it quite intrusive, sometimes you just want to enjoy a moment, not faff about filming it for absolutely no reason record it for posterity.

My XH used to video everything - to the point at Christmas he would be handing them presents and shouting things like 'hurry up and open these Sylvanians, I want to film it.' Way to kill the moment !

bridgetreilly · 20/04/2019 12:50

Yeah, I wouldn't do the video. Just say that you'd rather not make a big deal of all the Easter chocolate with him, but you're really grateful for the gift.

kiki22 · 20/04/2019 12:50

I would do the video seems very mean not to. She's not asking him to perform she's asking YOU to pass his gift to him and press record. Just do it and be glad h is loved in years to come he will look forward to these gifts.

Cherrysoup · 20/04/2019 12:51

So weird! Why do people insist on videos of everything?

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 20/04/2019 12:52

When she said she wanted to see him opening it and getting all excited I did immediately say I'd send a photo, no bother, but then she asked for a video instead.

I think she's got pre conceived images of a cakesmash-esque exciting experience for him and it really won't be the case, which is undoubtedly going to leave her disappointed.

OP posts:
Dieu · 20/04/2019 12:55

Heavens alive, just video him playing around with the box and eating a few chocolate buttons.
I seriously doubt they expect you to film him eating the lot Confused

HoppingPavlova · 20/04/2019 12:55

He'll bang the box a bit, take something out and wander off. He's not going to sit there beaming and clapping at the sight of chocolate which is what she's hoping for.

I take it he is a first child? This sounds like first child behaviour but trust me any subsequent child will have figured out what chocolate is WAY before 15mths and will indeed be beaming and clapping at the sight of itGrin.

Just open it with him, film it, give him one, film him eating it then put it away. Send the relative the video, then eat it yourself at leisure. Not hard and not a drama.

ScreamScreamIceCream · 20/04/2019 12:56

Do a photo with it in his hand as a PP said then enjoy the chocolate yourself. Most of the kids under about 2 I've seen eat chocolate have thrown it up.

Explain to the relative unfortunately you couldn't do a video as your son wasn't co-operating but you have sent her a photo.

justasking111 · 20/04/2019 12:57

My DS was like this so many eggs, he was not into chocolate so I would leave them for a month or so then bin. Sorry family.

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 20/04/2019 12:57

Her and her daughter (again very kindly) sent him a little wooden train for Christmas, beautiful gift and something I would have chosen myself, all fab and I was extremely thankful.

I happily obliged with a video on that occasion but as was to be expected of an 11 month old he wasn't that interested in the train and cared more for the wrapping paper. He wasn't really paying attention to the toy and the video was a bit of a flop!

She expressed disappointment that he didn't seem to like the train, then I felt bad for her.

That being said, while I may appear ungrateful I'm really not. I know DS and know that his reaction to the gift will fall short of her expectations.

OP posts:
Thecoffee · 20/04/2019 12:58

I'd do the video, during which he will play with the wrapping/box/chocolate, then eat the chocolate myself afterwards. No harm done and relative (you presumably don't dislike them) happy.

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 20/04/2019 12:59

Points taken on board, I'm going to make a video for her later on Smile

OP posts:
Dieu · 20/04/2019 13:02

Yaaay! It will make her day Smile