To be annoyed that people can't just say congratulations.

[NotReadyForThisX2]

We've just announced I'm pregnant with Dc two (a little earlier than planned due to blabber mouth Dp). But not a single person friend or family has just said congratulations without adding there own little comment/judgement about how soon it is after Ds.
Yes I am aware without being told for the 50th time that there will only be 13 months between them and yes I'm sure we'll have our hands full. But if one more person asks me if we planned it or how we're going to manage, I think I'll scream.

What happened to just being polite and saying, oh how lovely, congratulations and then just talking about how stupid we are behind our backs.

Just 13 months between my ds2 and ds3 and it’s lovely. They’re 8&9 now and great together. Days out are easy, holidays a doddle as they have always got each other to play with.
Congratulations OP xx

There are only 9 months between my nieces,1st prem,caught on again quickly with second which was v v prem.They are very close,its lovely to see.Ignore.

"Fb is even more annoying as they can see someone's just put the exact same comment yet they still do too."

1. They cba to read the previous comments. They fire off the obligatory expected comment in seconds and get on with their day.

1. They do read the other comments but find it difficult to think of anything unique or original to say, don't want to waste any more time than necessary on it, so bung down their first thought anyway.

Bet you'd be more offended if everyone had ignored your fb announcement.

Stop being annoyed. Accept that you and dp are the only ones who give a rat's arse and celebrate your happy news.

Not my fb announcement @CorlysVelaryon, that's on Dp. I wouldn't be in the least bit bothered if no one commented, that might at least stop him feeling the need to post things.
The thing is people have posted a reply and then messaged us. I get that no ones going to care like me and Dp and I don't expect them to, so why the frigging questions and comments.

Anyway I'm no longer annoyed because I'm just not replying to anyone

Wait till you're having your third.....

There will not be a third @NorthernLurker. He's having the snip or he's not coming near me.

Omg some people are fucking idiots who fucking cares if they're going to be13months apart they're not the ones who has to look after them. My two kids are 11 and a half months apart born in the same month, birthdays are 2 weeks apart and I'm glad they're that close in age. I'm due with my 3rd this year and the gap between my first born and this one is going to be 4 years which I dont like as I wanted maximum 3years gap. The further apart they are the more distant they will be as they wont have the same interests and wont be at the same level.

Congratulations! How exciting, your children will be so close in age, they will be able to share and enjoy so many experiences together.
My eldest two are only 11 months apart, and are now 9 and 10. I won't lie, in the early years it was HARD. Having two babies who both need you all the time, but in different ways, due to their different stages, is a juggle, but it's so lovely too. They have always had a playmate, days out were easy (until dc 3 came along) because they both liked doing the same things, and they share almost everything.
One of my favourite memories from the time they were little is those lovely afternoon naps, the three of us together. There was no older sibling to entertain so I could just nap with them.

Enjoy your baby now, whilst it is just the two of you, but equally savour the years to come. Having two close in age is so much easier than the five-year age gap I have between my youngest and middle dc.

Some families have the dynamic where they show absolutely no restraint with each other and forget basic manners that they'd use with an "outsider". When we told DH's parents we were having another baby (they are 19 months apart), we got, "You're JOKING?" From FIL, followed by, "ANOTHER girl? What a shame." It's not just babies though, when I phoned my DM to tell her that my now DH has proposed, her immediate response was, "Oh. Are you pleased?" When I said, "Er, yes, Mum!" She came back with, "Well that's the main thing."

CONGRATULATIONS OP

Congratulations!

We've had a lot of those style comments ... very rarely positive comments. We're due twins in 7 weeks and my DD will be 20 months. Lots of 'how will you/DD cope' 'interesting few years ahead' 'were they planned' 'how does DD feel about that' (as if she understands at 18 months!) 'thats going to be expensive' etc etc. I've just been trying to reply with positive turnarounds to each negative comment 😅 gets hard though when inwardly I am panicking a bit about how hard/expensive it will be!

@NotReadyForThisX2 given the name you've chosen are you maybe extra sensitive to this because you share some of their concerns? Having been up since one with a usually excellent sleeper who is five months, I think you are amazing to be doing this as there's no way I'd be able to, maybe some of the comments come from that realisation from others? Congratulations.

Congratulations OP!

I have this gap between dc1 and dc2 (and then 22 months between dc2 and dc3). Prepare yourself for many comments for many years to come - just smile and nod! Once the baby is born, people will say 'you've got your hands full' on repeat, while you are out and about.

The gap is lovely and I actually found it fairly easy - my eldest was an amazing sleeper by this point, all through the night, plus two lengthy naps - he was also still really portable (could put them both in the pram and go for a walk, etc, without much trouble). They are 10 and 9 (and 7) now and very close - it's easy to keep them all entertained with the same things (mix of boys and girls).

ps - I am not up at 5am on Easter Sunday because I had 3 dc under 3 (thought I'd better make that clear). I have to leave the house at 5.45 for a reason completely unrelated to how many dc I have and the age gaps between them!

Yes @ZippyBungleandGeorge. I know I'm a little sensitive as it wasn't planned, but it's not like there's much we can do about it now 😂. Think that's what's so annoying, because it's pointless comments. None of our friends have children yet either so they don't have a clue what it's like.

Thank you @littlepeas. Ds is a good sleeper and I've found one really easy, wasn't expecting to at all. So I'm hoping it's the same with two. Dp is very hands on as well and he will be off for the first month so that's going to be lovely.
Both sets of parents are very supportive too and will be happy to help.

I was panicking at first but I'm excited now.

People are rude and want to air their views? (personally, I might think things about, for example,e, peoples baby names, but I keep my mouth firmly shut)

My cousin had two girls 2 years apart. The first is quite dark haired and olive skinned and the second is very blonde and pale skinned. On at least two occasions when I was with her, random people asked if they had the same father. Now that's rude!

Huge congratulations!!!

I have twins and I have had a LOT of similar comments 🤦‍♀️ Lots of people also ask about the means of conception “are they real?” “Did you need help to have them?”
Basically saying.. are you infertile? Which yes I am and I am so happy ivf worked but do I need to tell a complete stranger that?!

Basically people do not think before talking!!!!!!

My MIL asked DH if our 2nd was planned after we tried for 3 years. People are strange.

There is 13 months between my sister and I, they will have the best time growing up so close!

Congratulations OP!

We would have loved a close gap, OP. Started trying as soon as we could.

A friend of mine had twins in her 40s and everyone - everyone - either asked her if she'd had IVF or warned her about how much work it would be.

Congratulations OP

Mine are 9 and 10 now with an 18 month gap so a little longer than you’ll have, but I got some comments too, plus random tutting and muttering from strangers when I was out with baby and visibly pregnant, and later when out with the double buggy.

It’s been amazing though and they are so close to each other. Plus so easy as they have similar interests and a built in playmate and confidant.

DS1 and DS2 are 13 months apart, and we planned it that way. No regrets at all, sibling jealousy not such a thing as my eldest doesn’t remember being an only child.

There's 13 months between my two children and, although it was a bit of a shock when I found out I was pregnant again, it has all worked out great. I remember the comments about having your hands full which got tedious after a while, like people couldn't think of anything else to say or be supportive and happy for us.

You'll be the one reaping the benefits a couple of years down the line when you have the baby stages out of the way and have 2 little people who will hopefully entertain each other and enjoy similar activities. I know you just get on with whatever life throws at you but I definitely prefer it this way, rather than going back to the sleepless night baby stages when you've forgotten what it's like! And I found TTC stressful the first time round as it took longer than we had hoped and I was glad I didn't have that stress again.

Congratulations! And try to ignore the stupid comments.

@CyclingSquirrel
Not exactly bothered about my well being when she can't say it to me or even bother to congratulate me either? I have many family members from my fathers side that are anything but supportive - please do not assume things

I have very tight gaps between all 4 of mine. I’d be the first person saying along with my news ‘it’s bloody tight! We’re going to be busy! I know we are crazy’ with a great big smile and delight because do you know what, it’s all true. And it’s no reflection on how wonderful it is at the same time.

Honestly though, people saying those things is to be expected. And it’s really not a negative or even news to you. So what’s the problem?

I have 4dc and still get asked if they were planned.

What a vile, nosy and ill mannered question!

I might reply by asking "were you and your siblings planned?" Or "have you ever had an unplanned pregnancy?".