To be annoyed that people can't just say congratulations.

[NotReadyForThisX2]

We've just announced I'm pregnant with Dc two (a little earlier than planned due to blabber mouth Dp). But not a single person friend or family has just said congratulations without adding there own little comment/judgement about how soon it is after Ds.
Yes I am aware without being told for the 50th time that there will only be 13 months between them and yes I'm sure we'll have our hands full. But if one more person asks me if we planned it or how we're going to manage, I think I'll scream.

What happened to just being polite and saying, oh how lovely, congratulations and then just talking about how stupid we are behind our backs.

Just say “I’d really just like you to say congratulations and be happy for us”. If they feel uncomfortable then they will get over it.

you can make it work.filling you with what ifs and worries before hand isnt going ti fill yo uwith confidence. who knows you could find it a dream!
congratualtions.you will be fine.no no you will be perfect.

Congratulations!!

There's 12 months and a handful of days between me and my sister. It was fine!

Congratulations! lt's lovely to have them close together - hard work, but lovely to have them so close in age.
One of my friends came off the pill when they got engaged - didn't get pregnant for seven years, they thought it wasn't going to happen.
l went to see her when the baby was about six weeks old, next time we spoke on the phone, l asked how she was. "Pregnant...." There are eleven months between her daughters.

Congratulations momma

I have girls that are 12 months apart. I've had the comments and the rudeness. People should mind their own business. And to ever said they are not surprised people are shocked - why? Why should they be shocked it's great happy wonderful news. Nothing shocking about it.

This would really annoy me too.

I got annoyed when neither my GP, gym trainer or random spa worker said congratulations when I was telling them (purely out of obligation) when I first found out I was pregnant, even though they were only being told due to necessity and they probably can't say it in case you haven't decided what to do about it yet! Haha.They just asked how far on I was. Despite this, and hardly knowing these people, it still bugged me.

I was much more pleased when the midwife said congrats when I rang! Lol.

As others have said though, people do just think out loud, and will just be stating the obvious. It's just annoying to you as you've heard it a hundred times, you know it's a small gap, but people don't think like that. I'm sure nobody will mean to annoy you at all. Xxx

That's the thing @kateandme. I was really worried at first and I'd got to where I was feeling ok about it and excited.
Admittedly I wasn't really ready for us to tell anyone yet (our parents already knew and they've been great) so I know that's not helped and I'm super emotional at the moment anyway.

Congratulations
I have siblings 13 months apart , it happens , you will be fine xxx

Congratulations!

Mine are 5 months and 19 months and I totally hear you on the comments. I wouldn't have it any other way. No-one makes baby laugh more than his big sister

It's just something people say. There's unlikely to be malice in it. Just smile, nod and ignore. That's what I do.

People dont generally care after the first.

congratulations x

Congratulations!
If course you can make it work. Their attitude is all about them, and no reflection on you.

Say “ can’t you be happy for us “ in repeat until they realise it’s not all about them.
Seriously though If people can’t be happy that another little baby is joining your family, then I feel sorry for them.

13 months between me and my sister. I was definitely and ooops and my mum kept telling me after DD was born “breastfeeding is NOT contraception” 😂

I love being so close to my sister.

Hi OP maybe they're just jealous.

I'd have loved a small age gap but I found the baby stage really really hard and I just know that I wouldn't have coped. And am in awe of people who were finding it so great and so easy at say 3 months in they thought they could cope with a second. It is not a reflection on them at all, totally on me, but it does make me reflect on how I coped when mine were small and realise I didn't cope anywhere near as well as a lot of people and that can lead to people feeling bad and saying bitchy things?

Also I hardly had sex when mine were small and always wonder how you can have enough sex with a small baby to accidentally fall pregnant so maybe theres a bit of jealousy around this as well!?

Maybe they’re unsure how to react and it’s not personal. Some people are just rude or think subsequent pregnancies aren’t as important as the first. Just ignore them and enjoy your family I’m sure they will show their excitement in time and love the baby when they arrive. Congratulations x

We had this big time! Not only from family either, from anyone and everyone even folk on the street and a coworker of mine who I’m Not even close with actually said ‘oh no! Why did you go and do that! You silly girl!’
I kid you not. I was furious.
There are 21 months between my two and having them close together was fantastic, they get on so well and even though it wasn’t planned for this close together it’s worked out amazingly.
It’s hard work, especially at first but you will be fine.
Congratulations!!!!

There are 16 months between my 2 DDs( should have been 19 but DD2 made a 3 month early arrival¡) and il never forget the shock at the midwife asking me if it was an accident at my booking visit 😗

Congratulations OP. People are so over the line when people are pregnant. They think that they can say whatever they want don't they? - I feel your pain. Xx

Huge congrats

Human nature I get the opposite- your getting on don’t you want kids. Yes would have loved to but medically not possible for us even with treatment.

Just example not meaning for sympathy- just ignore or maybe shock people with “yes another one as we always planned”

People discussing kids is weird- you have then - don’t have to many or close together!

You don’t- times a ticking you better get on that!

Women can’t win so embrace it- how fantastic 2 children who will be BFFs for life, congratulations!

Not the same but I was at a party a couple of years ago with a couple expecting twins (I'd not met them before). I said 'oh lovely, congratulations'! and the guy was visibly taken aback and said I was the first person to say that and not make some other comment!

I think people tend to just say what comes to mind without intending any offense. Also though I think pregnancy (and birth, and illness, and holidays, and death...) brings out clichés purely because people want to say the right thing, so maybe they think they're just engaging you in a conversation and taking interest rather than going with a simple congrats! Just my opinion but I'm sure I've said stuff in the past like that and it would have been due to the voice in my head saying 'ask them something relevant!'.

I don't think anyone's being malicious at all. It's either jokey comments about how close they are or well meaning but annoying comments about how hard it will be. But I do know it's not coming from a nasty place.

I'm just a bit sick of it.

Congrats OP - personally I'd congratulate you and maybe wonder what you were having.

IME people announcing pregnancies don't really want you to just say 'congratulations' though.

Surely it would be weird to say 'congratulations' and then stare at each other, or ask what they're having for tea.

Some sort of small talk is definitely required and people will fill silence by thinking aloud or asking the obvious questions; the reality is that they probably just don't care that much.