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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of this woman and her (unsolicited) skincare advice?

150 replies

abstractmaths · 19/04/2019 18:51

A couple of months ago, I joined an indoor cycling studio, and became acquainted with this woman whose weekly timetable coincided perfectly with mine. All is great, aside from the fact that she can’t seem to quit talking about my skin despite me telling her (repeatedly) “thanks, but no thanks”!

For context, I had the most awful cystic acne from my late teens all the way till my early 20s, which left me with a whole bunch of boxcar and rolling scars. The discolouration is all gone now, thank goodness. Unfortunately though, despite having undergone multiple rounds of fractional lasers etc, the “textured” scarring has only had maybe a 30% improvement? Either way, it’s not ideal, especially under fluorescent and/or angled lighting.

Anyway, back to this woman. I usually get the classic lines of “have you tried drinking more water”, “do you wash your face frequently”, “have you tried x”, “do you use y” and the like. Scarring aside, my skin is somewhat great now (I’m sure she’ll scoff if I ever say this out loud), so none of this is actually in any way helpful. I know she probably means well, but it just comes across as incredibly condescending and I’m pretty much done with it at this point.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MissLadyM · 20/04/2019 23:37

Please report her to the gym! This is outrageous!

MulticolourMophead · 20/04/2019 23:58

Yes, definitely report her to the gym. There are a lot of people out there who would stop going to the gym because of people like her.

The gym will weigh up the loss of her membership against the potential loss of many memberships.

78percentLindt · 21/04/2019 08:52

This will run! You need to have a pithy response to her feigned concern about upsetting you when you see her next. I suggest that you tell her that her rudeness has passed into harassment and you will make a formal complaint to the police if she continues.
How did she get your number? I assume you did t give it to her? If it was the gym I would complain and mention GPDR.

Smelborp · 21/04/2019 09:05

Absolutely report her to the gym.

78percentLindt · 21/04/2019 09:09

Or even GDPR!
Make it clear to the gym that you are considering stopping your membership due to her behaviour.

TheInvestigator · 21/04/2019 09:18

It's nothing to do with GDPR!!!

OP willingly gave her contact details to a woman she met at the gym. That woman has passed them on. Individual people are not bound by GDPR. The gym have no control over what individual people do with information given to them by another individual. Just because it happened in their building does not mean they are responsible.

OP could tell the gym this woman is harassing her on their premises and they may choose to stop this woman coming back but they havnt breached GDPR or had anything to do with the exchange of information.

If you met a man in a bar and gave him your number, and he then passed your number around, would you complaint to the bar and accuse them of breaching GDPR? NO!! BECAUSE IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM.

abstractmaths · 21/04/2019 09:27

How did she get your number? I assume you did t give it to her?

I gave it to her months ago because she was the first person I'd spoken to in this gym and I thought it'd be nice to have a "workout buddy system" where we could encourage each other to go for class even if were we feeling lazy!

OP posts:
DointItForTheKids · 21/04/2019 09:32

If this mental woman had told OP when she obtained her number "OP I'll be passing this number to others", then she'd be ok having shared that number. But she didn't. I'm sure none of us on here would just pass someone's private mobile number to other people without their advance, express permission - I certainly wouldn't. Therefore she has used OPs personal data in an unacceptable way. She may be an individual, but she's using that data to operate a business as well - whether wrong based on the regulations or not, she's morally wrong and everyone knows it. I wonder, could it be that this 'qualified beautician' is also within the MLM system too... surely not...?!

I agree the gym are not responsible, but OP could mention it to them - I'm sure if there's the potential of 10 people stopping going to their gym because of this woman, they'd at the very least have a word with her.

Personally, I'd rip the bitch a new one for sharing my number without my permission.

78percentLindt · 21/04/2019 09:32

My concern was how C.F. got op number. If op gave it to her,Ok not GDPR, if gym gave it out, it is . I had a quick check before i posted ad didn't see that they had exchanged numbers. I don't think I have ever given my number to people who go to the same classes as me.

Ihatehashtags · 21/04/2019 09:49

That is shocking! Definitely report her to gym management. I had a “friend/acquaintance “ who recently really sneakily tried to sign me up to this weight loss franchise. I’m still so angry about it and won’t be making any efforts to catch up with her again.

BentBaastard · 21/04/2019 18:28

If someone asks me for a friends number I ALWAYS check with the friend first.

Always.

abstractmaths · 23/04/2019 07:58

Oh my god just stepped into the gym and she's here with fucking samples despite me having said TWICE over the weekend that I wasn't interested in buying anything, attending any parties, and definitely wasn't interested in any skin related conversations. The trainer is already getting started but I am definitely reporting her to the gym once we're done with this class! Clear break of the rules here!!

OP posts:
M4J4 · 23/04/2019 08:04

I wish I could say some of these without things potentially turning awkward! Unfortunately, I love this studio and their trainers, and for now, the only con to spin class is this woman and her "helpful" comments.

Harshest thing I've said to her was "I can deal with my fucking skin on my own thanks"

If you can say that then the suggestions from other posters are pretty tame!

Hopefully she has stopped after your last text.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 23/04/2019 08:05

The gym might take a very dim view of her hawking her wares on their premises, in fact I wonder if they have anything in their T&Cs about it? She definitely needs reporting! Cheeky mare!

M4J4 · 23/04/2019 08:05

X post

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 23/04/2019 08:11

Ask to speak to the manager.

DointItForTheKids · 23/04/2019 08:15

And mention you're so fed up you're thinking of not coming to this gym any more.

thiscannotbenormal · 23/04/2019 08:28

This is harassment for sure. Please do report her.

QuickThinkOfAName · 23/04/2019 08:38

This is utter harassment. Definitely speak to the manager. You’ve come to use the gym bit dodge market sellers. I’d mention her passing on your details too (even though you gave your number to her) as it shows the level of crazy you’re dealing with.

QuickThinkOfAName · 23/04/2019 08:38
  • not dodge

Thanks autocorrect

RabbityMcRabbit · 23/04/2019 08:43

What DoinItForTheKids said. She's dreadful x

woolduvet · 23/04/2019 08:54

She really has a brass neck

ibblebibbledibble · 23/04/2019 09:04

Oh my god! Did you speak to the manager?! I’m angry on your behalf!

abstractmaths · 23/04/2019 09:17

Yes, I've spoken to the gym management! They've assured me that they're going to take a serious look into this matter because something like this is expressively prohibited on the premises!

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 23/04/2019 09:36

I’m angry on your behalf!

Me too! I’d have told her to put them away before I shoved them down her throat. But I’m not very nice.