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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of this woman and her (unsolicited) skincare advice?

150 replies

abstractmaths · 19/04/2019 18:51

A couple of months ago, I joined an indoor cycling studio, and became acquainted with this woman whose weekly timetable coincided perfectly with mine. All is great, aside from the fact that she can’t seem to quit talking about my skin despite me telling her (repeatedly) “thanks, but no thanks”!

For context, I had the most awful cystic acne from my late teens all the way till my early 20s, which left me with a whole bunch of boxcar and rolling scars. The discolouration is all gone now, thank goodness. Unfortunately though, despite having undergone multiple rounds of fractional lasers etc, the “textured” scarring has only had maybe a 30% improvement? Either way, it’s not ideal, especially under fluorescent and/or angled lighting.

Anyway, back to this woman. I usually get the classic lines of “have you tried drinking more water”, “do you wash your face frequently”, “have you tried x”, “do you use y” and the like. Scarring aside, my skin is somewhat great now (I’m sure she’ll scoff if I ever say this out loud), so none of this is actually in any way helpful. I know she probably means well, but it just comes across as incredibly condescending and I’m pretty much done with it at this point.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 20/04/2019 13:41

This is like the time I had a gym induction and the trainer tried to convince me that the reason I suffered from migraines was because I often wear my hair in a ponytail.

Fucking hell! How do these people not fall down more?!

abstractmaths · 20/04/2019 16:37

@Rottencooking, I'm sorry you had a similar experience. Everyone (dermatologists included) touted fractional lasers as being the "gold standard" when it comes to acne scarring but ££££ later (did 5 sessions with the last one occurring maybe 2 years ago), the improvements to my depressed scarring were minimal at best!

Back to this woman. I told her in no uncertain terms that I wasn't interested in her products and that I really didn't want to talk about my skin anymore. She replied with a lovely "I think you could still benefit from my expertise because most people don't understand how harmful regular store-bought make up actually is" and that "I know you're going to hate this but I've passed your number on to a certified beautician who I really believe will be able to help you out".

Who the fuck is this new person? Is she another seller that works with her or something??? Guess I've got my "block" button ready for any new calls coming my way!

OP posts:
woolduvet · 20/04/2019 16:39

I find your level of interest into my skin intrusive and you have definitely crossed the line giving my number out. You need to stop.

sue51 · 20/04/2019 16:47

She passed your number to third party without your consent after you told her to fuck off! Wow. What a nasty woman. Could you say that if she doesn't stop her harrassment you will consider reporting her to the correct authorities?

Rottencooking · 20/04/2019 16:51

@abstractmaths Yeah I feel like it's because they invest in a machine and have to pay it off, but I think it's one of the worst treatments available for scarring - high risk with low to nothing gain. It can cause fat loss, textural issues and enlarged pores, and make no different to the actual scars (except make them worse). Probably good for marks, wrinkles, freckles and extremely superficial scarring though.

I'm on a different route now with chemical peels and (radiofrequency and manual) microneedling, will look into subcision, filler and other treatments when I can afford it.

Joy!!

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 20/04/2019 16:52

Report her to the gym. She’s harassing you and passing on your number even though she knows you will hate (and who wouldn’t???) is outrageous!

Please don’t stop going to the gym, because of this pushy arsehole.

DointItForTheKids · 20/04/2019 16:54

That's your personal data OP!!! She can't do that!

WobblyLondoner · 20/04/2019 16:54

Oh my god, she has no shame! I would reply to her latest message that you are outraged she has passed on your number and that she needs to contact this person to ask her not to contact you. You could mention this being a clear breach of GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) which has clauses that clearly spell out how personal information like phone numbers and email addresses should be treated by companies (which I assume would apply both to her & her friend given that these are commercial activities). Bloody outrageous, am fuming on your behalf.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 20/04/2019 16:56

Dd 12 has quite a lot of spots atm and more than one person has asked if she washes her face

That's bloody rude megaclutter - and bloody cruel to a kid who's probably really self-conscious to start off with.

ticketsonsalenow · 20/04/2019 16:58
Shock
Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 20/04/2019 16:59

Text back, that she should tell whoever she passed your number on to not to call because you won’t be buying any of their crap, and that you won’t be interacting with her again.

PLEASE inform the gym as her next victim may not be strong. Show them the texts.

I’m sorry you’ve met a skanky vampire.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 20/04/2019 17:01

"I know you're going to hate this but I've passed your number on to a certified beautician who I really believe will be able to help you out".

If she knows you're going to hate it, why did she pass your number on, the bitch?

I agree with others - report her to the gym management.

TheCakeCrusader · 20/04/2019 17:03

I think this woman is bordering on actual harassment and passing on your details to a third party without permission is outrageous.

Did she originally obtain your mobile details from you or from the studio? Either way, you need to need to block her as it’s pointless trying to reason with her.

Ghanagirl · 20/04/2019 17:05

@abstractmaths
I’d be tempted to give her the once over locate any flaws bad teeth, overweight, dry hair etc and bang on about that everytime she mentions your skin.
But I’m mean when insulted.

TheInvestigator · 20/04/2019 17:06

What is a certified beautician?

I didn't think beautician was a protected term (like anyone can call themselves a nutritionist but you need to be qualified to be legally allowed to call yourself a dietician).

So what does that even mean?!?!

Hope you told her to tell this new idiot to delete your contact details.

PanamaPattie · 20/04/2019 17:07

What the fuck is a "certified beautician"?

Gazelda · 20/04/2019 17:12

"You've gone too far now.
I have felt uncomfortable with you frequently wanting to discuss my skin.
I felt embarrassed that you thought it appropriate to use something you obviously see as a flaw of mine to use to your commercial advantage.
And I now feel angry that you have shared my personal data with a stranger without my permission.
I shall be reporting your intrusive behaviour to the gym so that they can ensure you don't befriend other users with exploitation in mind.
I would appreciate you refraining from contacting me either in person or by tech means. And please advise your beautician friend to do the same"

abstractmaths · 20/04/2019 17:13

The more I think about it, the angrier I'm getting tbh. Sent her a text telling her to tell that "certified beautician" to please not contact me, and that "I'd appreciate it if you could stop handing my number out - it's not yours to give". Blocked her, and will probably be reporting her to the studio on Tuesday.

OP posts:
abstractmaths · 20/04/2019 17:19

Some people are just rude fuckers. Dd 12 has quite a lot of spots atm and more than one person has asked if she washes her face hmm

I'm absolutely fuming on behalf of your DD! Those people are at best, ignorant and condescending, and at worst, thriving on the schadenfreude they get by putting down a young girl!

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 20/04/2019 22:39

"I know you're going to hate this but I've passed your number on to a certified beautician who I really believe will be able to help you out".

"I know you're going to hate this, but I've arranged for 19 skips, 50 tonnes of fresh manure and 328 pizzas to be delivered to your house - all cash on delivery."

The PP who described people like her as pachydermic Grin had it exactly right. With that last stunt, I'd be going straight off to the police to report harassment or even stalking.

Wolfiefan · 20/04/2019 23:02

You’re going to hate it but she did it anyway? What a colossal bitch!
“Well at least you can’t complain that I’ve passed your number to someone who can help with your (pause for dramatic effect and to allow maximum head tilt) .... Gesture to butt.
Stay long enough to watch her spin like a dog trying to catch its own tail in order to try and work out what you’re referring to then walk away. Grin

lostfrequencies · 20/04/2019 23:02

Crazy.

abstractmaths · 20/04/2019 23:15

I'm curious now that my anger has somewhat subsided: what are the chances she has made similar pitches to other people at our gym? I read about people who sell probably overpriced items to friends/family/acquaintances, but have never actually met one of them before so am quite agog as to why they think this level of aggressiveness will work?

OP posts:
BentBaastard · 20/04/2019 23:30

This is shocking actually

I’m furious on your behalf.

AwdBovril · 20/04/2019 23:34

I'd be highly surprised if you're the first person she's targeted. All she needs is something she thinks she can use as an "in" & then she'll keep on at you until you cave in, or block her. I bet it usually works, a lot of people would rather politely buy crap they don't want, than establish their own boundaries.

Definitely report her to the gym. She sounds horrible & very offputting.