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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be angry at FB "friend" over cat post and be desperate to post something scathing

166 replies

Witchofzog · 19/04/2019 13:48

Post reads " Now baby is here and about to come out of hospital, we need to rehome our cat due to the hair issue. She is short haired, 1 year old and really friendly. She has been flead and wormed but isn't vaccinated or spayed"

I feel like asking whether they realised a cat could live to around 16 before they got her if they knew babies could be a possibility, and why she isn't bloody vaccinated etc. And why can't they try the cat and baby living together at least before they think of revoking. It's such an arsehole thing to do in my book

OP posts:

Bookworm4 · 20/04/2019 15:51

@witch
I've heard every excuse, decor, pregnant, sudden allergies, knocked over a coffee table, he farts, I don't like looking at his bumhole, it's endless

JacquesHammer · 20/04/2019 15:54

My best friend had to rehome her beloved cats during a desperately stressful time in her life. I really hope the people at the place she took them to we’re kind and not assuming she was making an excuse

Original poster

Witchofzog · 20/04/2019 16:08

I don't like looking at his bum hole?? Words fail me

OP posts:

ittakes2 · 20/04/2019 16:12

Have you considered that she did not plan to get pregnant? yes the cat should have been vaccinated. We have an indoor cat breed - also not sprayed as she doesn't come into contact with other cats.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 20/04/2019 16:50

Does she not call ittakes2 ?

And try to get out?

It's cruel keeping an unswayed female - you might prevent hr having kittens by keeping her in, but her biology drives her crazy wanting to get out.

(Plus - if she ever accidentally does escape, she could easily end up pregnant, and could wander long way looking for a tom cat to mate with, and get run over or lost).

SchadenfreudePersonified · 20/04/2019 16:51

*unspayed, not unswayed

Sorry about that . . .

FoxFoxSierra · 20/04/2019 16:58

Poor cat! Yanbu, I can't understand the thought process behind this. We had our cats before we had children and they mostly kept away from them when they were babies but now they are a bit older they have a lovely relationship. It would never have occurred to me to get rid of the cats when I got pregnant

Allergictoironing · 20/04/2019 18:03

ittakes2 both my indoor only cats are neutered/spayed. They are also vaccinated every year (in case they e.g. ever need to go into a cattery in an emergency), get flea and worm treatment once a year "just in case" as I socialise with other cats & loads of dogs. They are also microchipped, and though this and the neutering etc were done by the rescue they were in, I would have had it done anyway.

Spaying reduces the risks of Pyometriosis and breast cancer in female cats, and is considered much better for their mental well being.

MrsFrankDrebin · 20/04/2019 19:15

One of our cats was rehomed because she wasn't wanted after a baby arrived. The sad thing was, this family had taken her in after friends of theirs had relocated and didn't want to take the cat with them, and not a year later the poor cat was at the shelter because a baby was on the way. Ultimately she'd been 'rehomed' 3 times in 3 years (we were the 3rd home) by the time we got her (she was almost 7 years old then).

So we took her. It took her two years to lose the scared look in her eyes, let alone trust us. So it's not true that cats aren't affected - they really, really are.

And the irony? This cat, now nearly 13, is the best cat out of our 4 cats with children. (The boys are literally just scaredy cats and just hide!) She's patient no matter what. She actually seeks out children when they visit the house. She lies there while they work out which way her fur goes when they stroke her. She never ever lashes out (none of them do, but she's the only brave one when it comes to children!). She'd have been brilliant with a baby and no threat at all. In fact, I believe that the majority of cats would be (and certainly a lot less of any kind of threat to a child than a dog, but somehow they're always seen as more of a non-negotiable 'part of the family' than a cat.

A well-prepared pet (unless it has proven behaviour issues beforehand) is usually a pet that can/will adapt to the new family addition - but the owners do have to put the effort it, it doesn't happen by magic.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/04/2019 10:01

she'd been 'rehomed' 3 times in 3 years

This breaks my heart MrsFrank

The number of animals on FB and Gumtree that just go from home to home and haven't got a clue what's happening to them. Then they are re-homed again because they "won't settle" (after something like two days in their fifth home in as many years) and become increasingly anxious and often fear-aggressive, and then one day snap back at some stranger who is terrifying them and are dumped because they are "vicious".

We got one of our dogs because the guy who'd bought her got fed up (after a week!) of coming in to pee and poo all over the kitchen. (He was retired and bought her "for company" but went out all day and met his friends for a drink most nights, so the poor little bugger was left alone and terrified in a strange place, and he admitted that when he came in and saw the mess he shouted at her (I think he did more than shout, tbh).

At the time I had 5 dogs and 3 cats and a garden full of rabbits and guinea pigs (when people find out you're a soft touch, you end up with everyone's unwanted pets). I said "sorry - I can't manage any more" and he replied "No problems - I'll stick her in the free paper. I don't want anything for her, someone'll have her."

I nearly wet myself! I said "Look I'll take her and re-home her, if that's okay." So I got her, and I really did intend to re-home her, but it was literally a fortnight before we could persuade her to come out from under the settee when there was anyone in the house, she was so frightened.

She progressed to running out, snatching her food in mouthfuls and dashing back, and then finally trusted us enough to approach us if we were sitting very still. I used to sit on the floor, leaning against the settee and read to her in a soothing voice to get her used to being spoken to. She got all of the local football results before DH did .

It took her soloing and she was so frightened, that I hadn't the heart to pass her on, no matter how good a home she was offered. SO we had her spayed and inoculated and she was with us for 11 1/2 years - and what wonderful, loving, loyal little should she was.

We lost her three years ago and I miss her every day. Every single day. She brought us so much joy.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/04/2019 10:03

*I have re-read this and have no idea what soloing. Sometimes autocorrect just fills its boots, doesn't it?

OH! Worked it out - "it took her so long"

As you were

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/04/2019 10:04

*also loyal little dog, not loyal little should

Candymay · 21/04/2019 10:10

It’s so awful and shocking. My cats are my responsibility and I will cherish them forever. I have young children too. No issues just more love.
I know someone who gave her adult cat away to a cat rescue because she just didn’t want her anymore. Then she got a dog instead. Awful and heartbreaking.

KC225 · 21/04/2019 10:11

I hate this. I bought home premature twins to a flat with four cats. All fine. I know of so many instances where people have for pets and discarded them because they were having a baby. I understand that I'd babiea are allergic etc. But pets aren't disposable. Its heartbreaking.

We did have a HV appointment, the twins were asleep and two of my cats were asleep in the vibrating rocker chairs that the babies hated. The HV thought it was so funny, she asked if she could take a photograph.

Soubriquet · 21/04/2019 10:32

No. If the excuse was a genuine one and she looked really upset (more than likely), she would have had every sympathy they could give.

No responsible pet owner wants to give up their pet unless they really have to.

It’s the ones who dump their animals at a drop of a hat that pisses people off

AuntMarch · 21/04/2019 10:55

I am expecting and split from the dad. I am really anxious about baby going to his for contact because of his cat. But his cat is an absolute arsehole who would come over and snuggle on my lap before randomly biting or scratching at me and running off- without me moving.
Ex seems pretty clueless so far about anything to do with babies so he is going to have to buck up around safety before I trust having my baby near that cat!

I am not generally anti-cat though. That's the first one I've actively disliked. My own cat growing up was lovely!

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