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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be angry at FB "friend" over cat post and be desperate to post something scathing

166 replies

Witchofzog · 19/04/2019 13:48

Post reads " Now baby is here and about to come out of hospital, we need to rehome our cat due to the hair issue. She is short haired, 1 year old and really friendly. She has been flead and wormed but isn't vaccinated or spayed"

I feel like asking whether they realised a cat could live to around 16 before they got her if they knew babies could be a possibility, and why she isn't bloody vaccinated etc. And why can't they try the cat and baby living together at least before they think of revoking. It's such an arsehole thing to do in my book

OP posts:
MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord · 19/04/2019 14:46

Agree with everyone else, but this post 100% spoke to me - I agree with you it’s shocking the amount of people who turn on their own pets when they have a baby it makes me so angry. I wish there were more checks and licenses introduced before allowing people to own pets it would be too much hassle for the ‘temporary owners’

I had my beautiful grey tabby from my username before my DD was born and they co-existed fine. I still miss her so much. My throat's closing up now, actually.

So yes, I think you "friend" is awful. I wouldn't post though, much as I'd want to. Be the bigger person.

MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord · 19/04/2019 14:47

Um... I miss the cat, not the DD, who's 17 and doing fine!

Y, Y to venting on Cat's Protection Grin

SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/04/2019 14:47

Blimey, they want to see our house with two cats and two spaniels. I regularly find the toddler covered in their hair

We have two cats and three spaniels, Frangipan. I am confident that I could lose a toddler (especially a sticky one) if they rolled across the floor.

It seems to be an occupational hazard of the cat-spaniel combination. Grin

Rafabella8 · 19/04/2019 14:54

YANBU. My late cat was 15.5 when she passed away. She had a happy, loved life. From the moment we took our baby son home from hospital they were inseparable. The cat used to curl up at the bottom of the bouncy chair and when our son got super upset, she would lay down next to him. When she died, she was buried in our garden. My husband dug the hole and my son held the torch - he was only 5. Pets are incredibly important in a child's life. It doesn't sound to me like your friend cares too much about the cat - for its sake it's probably best that its rehomed. Not being spayed or vaccinated could be an issue but hopefully the next owners will take better care it it. .

SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/04/2019 14:54

So irresponsible not to vaccinate/spay.

Not just irresponsible, but in practical terms I honestly don't know how anyone can cope with an unneuttered cat, even as an indoor cat.

If it's a tom he will spray all over anti stinks, and if it's a queen she will call. And call. And call. And call. And rip the curtains and blinds to shreds trying to get out to mate.

I couldn't stand that.

Family next door to us had two unneutered toms (because castrating them is "cruel" - far better that they fight, with other cat and each other, and come back with their faces hanging off, and lumps ripped out of them etc) and the house reeked.

blackcat86 · 19/04/2019 14:55

Your friend is a dick I'm sure it has raised more than a few eyebrows amongst her Facebook friend. We adopted a cat from a neighbour and then rescued a cat once it passed. I was 6 months pregnant. DD and the cat get on beautifully although now shes moving around she has tried to chew his tail (he just sat there and let her...). Pets are part of the family and unless there is an actual risk its really heartless to get rid of them

SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/04/2019 14:55

*and it, not anti

Theducksarenotmyfriends · 19/04/2019 14:55

Yanbu. My toddler adores one of my cats (the other one avoids her like the plague!), he's her best mate. He's always been very sweet and soft with her, ever since she was a baby and she talks about him at nursery all the time apparently. They're part of the family, I hate how people just discard them.

DameDoom · 19/04/2019 14:57

If you cannot be arsed to spay/neuter or vaccinate your cat, I'd be worried about your capability of looking after a brand new human. Hope cat finds lovely, new owners who will care for it.

Jaxhog · 19/04/2019 14:58

Why would someone get a cat while pregnant? Why would you get a cat and not spay or vaccinate them? Cat is better off with caring owners tbh.

Lets hope they treat their DC better. People like this shouldn't be in charge of a goldfish imho.

SpamChaudFroid · 19/04/2019 14:59

What a cunt. Hasn't neutered or vaccinated and now rehoming in the most irresponsible way possible via FB. I can't imagine getting rid of one of my pets because of hair, let alone passing them on to a FB random.

DameDoom · 19/04/2019 15:03

The whole of FB will be judging this delightful peach. Good.

onetwofourdinosaurroarr · 19/04/2019 15:03

I agree op. BIL and SIL live overseas, knowing they would be making a 24 hour plus flight home at some point in the next few years when they got a dog.

They had a baby a few months after getting the dog and it was glaringly obvious the dog was seen as a pain in the arse rather than a family member.

Unsurprisingly SIL's work has changed and as planned they are back in the UK now, without the dog. Apparently they gave up the dog because they love him so much as the travel wouldn't have been fair on him etc which is a fair point but also really obviously just an excuse to get rid.

Wankers

qazxc · 19/04/2019 15:07

I was amazed at the amount of people that said to me "you'll have to get rid of the cat" when I was pregnant, apparently believing that my highly placid lazy and non aggressive cats would turn into a homicidal maniacs that would either "kill" or "scratch the eyes out" of my baby.

With a minimum of precautions, having a cat(s) and baby was easy. And ever since the high chair stage, where the cats found out that they skulked around they would get extra food when dd dropped it, DD has been their favourite person.

DameDoom · 19/04/2019 15:09

I'd have the cat myself but my two would not appreciate an interloper and I always endeavour to maximise their happiness at all times - even at my own personal inconvenience and expense. I think all animal lovers think and do the same. It's a given.

MotherOfDragons90 · 19/04/2019 15:09

Your friend is a bellend

churchthecat · 19/04/2019 15:10

Completely agree OP.

Makes me furious.

pinkpushchairs · 19/04/2019 15:13

I can't stand people who give up their pets when their kids come along. Disgusting individuals.

SrSteveOskowski · 19/04/2019 15:16

Your friend is a stupid bitch. A stupid, irresponsible bitch because only someone completely irresponsible wouldn't have their cat spayed or vaccinated.
Our furry lady moved in here about 4 years ago. She was a stray that had been hanging around for a while, but when she (and we) decided she was here to stay we took her to the vet to get her checked. He said she wasn't spayed, she wasn't chipped so chances are she wasn't vaccinated either, so obviously we had all of the above done, as any responsible pet owner should.

I hope your friend's new baby behaves itself, otherwise they might want to re-home him/her too. Hmm

YesQueen · 19/04/2019 15:18

My friend has two cats and a daughter. When daughter was born, one of the cats couldn't care less, the other is obsessed with her. Would sit on the changing table, highchair, let child put a nappy on her, basically followed her around all day and would sneak in her room to sleep under her cot at night. She doesn't even know how the cat will be with a child!

And cats do understand, this is my cat and I have no doubt he adores me

To be angry at FB "friend" over cat post and be desperate to post something scathing
DameDoom · 19/04/2019 15:40

YesQueen he's a handsome smasher.

ememem84 · 19/04/2019 15:54

We got catface 4 months before I found out I was pregnant with ds. She was a feral. She was just starting to come round and be less hissy scratchy.

Fil asked when we were going to get rid of her because you can’t have “that cat” with a baby around.

Ds is 18 months. I’m pregnant with no2 and catface is snuggled up against me.

She tolerates her “brother” occasionally letting him pat her. But he adores her. She sleeps either on our bed or under his cot. She likes to bounce around him and is happy enough (for a while) that he follows her around. He thinks she’s hilarious. He squeals when he sees her.

She’s never gone for him. Not to say she wouldn’t but when he was teeny she slept under the Moses basket. She is super protective.

Makes me so mad that people don’t think about the long term when they get pets.

HomeMadeMadness · 19/04/2019 15:55

@SchadenfreudePersonified

Yes exactly. We rescued two cats one of which had to wait for a month to spay she didn't stop bloody yowling all night.

duckduckgoose2 · 19/04/2019 16:02

it's like any other situation where someone hasn't thought something all the way through and can't cope - you need to make it as easy as possible for them to re-home as it is in the best interests of the animal. Lots would want a 1 year old cat as kittens can be crazy, and it is still young enough for someone to share many years with.

People that don't think things through and then flake will always exist, agree it's better than abandoning the cat or doing something shady as would've happened. It's better that people feel less shame, 30 years ago perhaps that cat might have been drowned - nobody would've facebooked about it but not a better outcome.

Purplecatshopaholic · 19/04/2019 16:13

What exactly is the 'hair issue'? She has already said the cat is short-haired. Your friend is a twat!