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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be angry at FB "friend" over cat post and be desperate to post something scathing

166 replies

Witchofzog · 19/04/2019 13:48

Post reads " Now baby is here and about to come out of hospital, we need to rehome our cat due to the hair issue. She is short haired, 1 year old and really friendly. She has been flead and wormed but isn't vaccinated or spayed"

I feel like asking whether they realised a cat could live to around 16 before they got her if they knew babies could be a possibility, and why she isn't bloody vaccinated etc. And why can't they try the cat and baby living together at least before they think of revoking. It's such an arsehole thing to do in my book

OP posts:

PineapplePower · 20/04/2019 08:26

People should be free to rehome their animals for whatever reason they want

And I’m totally free to judge them for their heartlessness and lack of responsibility.

Cats don't form attachments in the same way as us

They do get attached to humans and show it in ways that we don’t recognise. Cats socialised by humans meow as a way to communicate with us, feral cats absolutely stop meowing when they mature and never really pick up this habit. They are bred to live with humans, they aren’t wild animals.

PineapplePower · 20/04/2019 08:27

Yeah well my sister and I are living proof that this doesn't always work

What is it about the words “reduced risk” do you not understand?

justarandomtricycle · 20/04/2019 08:34

Judging people for re-homing animals is actually a great example of Disney culture animal concerns.

Think about the effects a few steps down the line if people feel it is morally wrong to re-home their pets if they don't want them or aren't doing a great job of looking after them. Animals being worse off. Quite frankly, animals being disposed of.

The sentiment I understand, but if as in this case someone does not feel the pet living with them is appropriate and is not really doing the best job of owning them, they should feel as free as possible to part ways with the pet, without recriminations.

Yanbu for feel bad for the cat, or that they were silly to get it then, but also yanbu to stay silent on the matter, that was the right thing to do in my opinion.

PineapplePower · 20/04/2019 09:59

Judging people for re-homing animals is actually a great example of Disney culture animal concerns

How are things to change? I am not an animal rescuer but know people who are. They are overburdened with requests from thoughtless owners who dispose of their animals at the littlest inconvenience.

People also expect shelters to take any animal, regardless of capacity. I’ve had a friend call me in tears because an owner threatened to put her cat to sleep if she wouldn’t take the cat into her shelter.

If people took more responsibility and were educated on facts, like that cats and babies are usually fine together, that in fact, it is usually beneficial, perhaps rescuers could put more resources into the very needy cases, where solutions are more limited (I.e allergies in family, sudden loss of home, sudden death of owner)

TheGoogleMum · 20/04/2019 10:20

I don't get why people assume you can't have cats around babies. I got my kittens a year and a half before our baby came! Wasn't going to give them up unless inwas very worried about them with baby and I kept a careful watch and so far so good. If cats don't form attachments to humans why do our cats like being in the same room as us? They don't like all humans either they are quite shy but do like us

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/04/2019 10:29

My parents had a dog and a cat when I was born and I was covered in pet hair from day one. Funnily enough I survived. I have dogs and cats and they are family, there is no way I would get rid for any reason.

EL8888 · 20/04/2019 10:34

@FenellaVelour my boyfriend knows where he stands with the cats. They were here first and aren’t going anywhere!

YANBU why do people insist on doing this! Poor cats

LuvSmallDogs · 20/04/2019 10:39

I’ve acquired more animals since having kids, lol! I grew up in a bladdy zoo as well, mum and dad had an Alsatian and a Rottweiler when I was born, tortoises, a cat and got “me” a rabbit for my 3rd birthday (my dad looked after her obvs, he likes rabbits and used to help out his dad who bred the English variety for show).

Absolute bollocks you can’t keep a cat with a baby!

LuvSmallDogs · 20/04/2019 10:46

Oh, and I used to kiss the tortoises and do “a bite for you and a bite for me” with their veg (salmonella risk), the cat was fed on the worktops (toxoplasmosis risk), I fell in the (shallow) goldfish pond (bounced back by the net, if that makes sense), dressed the cat up in doll clothes and walked her in a pram, took tadpoles from the pond in to watch them turn to frogs, held the Rottweiler’s lead on walks.

Best childhood ever!

ACPC · 20/04/2019 10:50

I can go one worse. Fb twat worded her post as if her dog had died, eliciting lot's of poor you responses. She'd rehomed after having a baby. This was thes

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 20/04/2019 10:59

We had dogs when the babies were born and have since also had/got- fish, birds, tortoise, rabbit and hamsters.
The dogs fell in love with the babies and guarded them like puppies from day one. (Obviously they were never left alone together, as you can not be 100% sure), but they were fab. We’ve now lost the dogs due to age, but we are all now ready to get a new one. Just debating on the breed as we like large breeds and live on the mountain.
I think animals are good for children, and it’s nice for them to grow up together. The rush to get rid I think is normally done by inexperienced owners (IMHO).

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 20/04/2019 11:01

What’s the hair issue?

I was brought up with a household of cats and dogs and am still alive.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 20/04/2019 12:11

I'm a vet and deal with various animal rescue charities. Why do people think there are millions of "good homes" out there just waiting for a cat? It's really not as easy as people seem to think! The charities work so so hard. They are all volunteers and end up with houses full of cats waiting for forever homes. Cats whose owners have just walked away, convincing themselves that the cat will go on to have a wonderful life.

An animal is a responsibility. Your responsibility. But people have no sense of responsibility it seems nowadays. They see it, they want it, they get it. Then suddenly they don't want it, so they palm it off to someone else. Too easy

reallyanotherone · 20/04/2019 12:20

I don't understand why people get so wound up about others rehoming their pets

Because there aren’t enough homes? “Rehoming” through social media means there’s a big chance the cat will end up as bait. If it goes to a shelter who knows how long it will be there, if it will ever find another home.

I had a cat who sleep trained my kids. She was ace. I’d put one to bed, cat would come with and settle on the childs legs. She would then stay there so child couldn’t move, and would stay until asleep. Then she’d come downstairs, repeat for older dc.

Meant no faffing having to return children to bed multiple times a night. They didn’t want to disturb the cat so stayed put!

DameDoom · 20/04/2019 13:51

Our cats are completely overbonded to us. We can't go away for more than a couple of nights without them fretting and pining so we don't because we took on the responsibility which is a honour and privilege to fulfil.
Toddles off to smother felines in kisses.

Ghanagirl · 20/04/2019 13:55

@FenellaVelour
What should your friend have done?

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 20/04/2019 13:59

What an awful person. I have a cat and a baby, it's not a problem, I just Hoover regularly and the cat is not a fan of the baby (too noisy, wiggly and unpredictable) so steers clear for the most part, he will come and sit next to me on the sofa if DS is having a nap on me but the second DS wakes up he's gone like a shot. So she got a cat weeks before falling pregnant and now doesn't want it, despicable, I'd say something eg hope you don't give up on the baby that quickly.

FenellaVelour · 20/04/2019 13:59

What should your friend have done?

It wasn’t my friend, it was an advert I saw.

She should’ve arranged any relationship around the cat - go to his, or ask him to take anti histamines.

I’d finish with a new partner rather than rehome a very elderly cat, who is not likely to live much longer, and who has only ever known one home and one person.

RomanyQueen1 · 20/04/2019 14:06

YABU for having people who aren't "friends" on fb, to make you look more popular [grrin]
Have a cull and find out the real friends. it stops you getting so worked up about people you don't agree with.

Ghanagirl · 20/04/2019 14:06

@FenellaVelour
Okay so he should take medication to remain in a relationship.
What if they got married.
Human relationships definitely come first unless you want to end up like “crazy catwoman”

FenellaVelour · 20/04/2019 14:24

Sorry, but for me human relationships would come second to an elderly animal who has only ever known one home and human. It would be potentially different if a kitten. Though personally, I’d always put my animals above new relationships.

I ended up rehoming an eight year old cat, and she was traumatised and took months to settle. Can’t imagine how a 15.5 year old cat could cope, or what kind of owner would put them through it.

PregnantSea · 20/04/2019 14:43

Yes, people can rehome their pets whenever they want, there's no law preventing it. That doesn't negate the fact that OP's FB friend has been very irresponsible here. She had a cat for a year which she couldn't be bothered to vaccinate, and she is now rehoming it without even attempting to see how it gets along with the baby, which then begs the question of why the hell didn't she rehome it when she found out she was pregnant and it was still a cute little kitten? Kittens get snapped up straight away and are much easier to rehome as it's less stressful for them, they haven't settled in to a family yet. The whole thing is really irresponsible and badly planned on her part. Poor cat.

But yeah, sure, she is allowed to do this if she wants. Doesn't mean we have to think it's a good idea.

PineapplePower · 20/04/2019 14:54

The charities work so so hard. They are all volunteers and end up with houses full of cats waiting for forever homes

Yes, it’s a thankless task and they just don’t have a lot of resources. Some of them just have such big hearts that they can’t say no to people wanting to dispose of their pets and end up veering close to hoarding territory. It’s awful.

Human relationships definitely come first unless you want to end up like “crazy catwoman

What kind of person insists on someone abandoning an elderly cat? No one is going to adopt a 15-year-old cat. If the bf was a decent person he’d just wait for the cat to pass, which surely wouldn’t be all that long!

Especially when there are plenty of things besides medication that can help—air purifiers, Roombas, daily brushing, keeping the cat out of bedrooms....exposure therapy also can help, as it’s been proven that you can become less allergic to your own cat (but not other cats)

babyno5 · 20/04/2019 14:54

I've seen a post recently. A family looking to rehome a gorgeous Jack Russell because their new sofas are arriving soon! FFS people make me so angry 🤬

Original poster

Witchofzog · 20/04/2019 15:05

I thought I had heard it all but rehoming an animal because it doesn't match your decor or because you are getting a new sofa? How do some people sleep at night?

OP posts:

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