To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

They don't inhale a box of Maltesers while reading this thread?

Ugh, I’m about 6 stone overweight. I piled it on when I had a newborn, 2yo and 5yo, and was so knackered I couldn’t see straight. Never managed to lose the weight - am up at 6.30am, morning routine with the kids, work ft, evening routine with kids while dh works (he is out working 8am to around 8pm) then chores like washing. Sit down around 9pm.

I don’t actually use the stairs at work, I get the lift. People have commented. But I am up and down stairs at home about eleven billion times a day in the morning and evening, so I can’t imagine that 3 extra times in the office is going to make me a size 10.

Why don’t I lose weight? Time, specifically lack of it. I can’t even think about a plan to lose weight as I have no mind space left over. Let alone act on it. My gp brought up the topic and referred me to a specialist weight loss initiative in our area (6 month waiting list). After a half hour intiial meeting they said I wasn’t in the right place in life or the right head space to join the programme. They had a point.

Don’t know how to proceed. I suppose the only way is to downsize the house and mortgage, so there is more time and head space and we’re not so overwhelmed by the 15 hours “work” activity a day. But then the thought of moving is costly and overwhelming in its own right, so the cycle continues. I am pinning my hopes on more time to tackle this when the kids are all in secondary school.

I find it difficult to get my head around because I have lived on benefits and I did what people on this thread have said you can do. I bought cheap fruit and vegetables, lentils, chickpeas, rice, porridge oats and so on. Food is not a treat when it makes you feel rubbish. When we had the money I bought things like strawberries instead of apples as a treat.

But food was certainly used as a treat - I agree it shouldn’t be and haven’t made it a treat with ds

If you think that many of our parents or their parents food wasn’t in abundance as it is now and there was a very real possibility of food being scarce

It’s habits that come from lifestyles that are passed on

My nan used to always have a full fridge and cupboards and a box of essentials just in case

I run three times a week

Eat three times a day, no snacks. Hardly drink.

B: Full fat yoghurt, Primrose's Kitchen granola, Earl Grey tea, flat white

L: lentil curry or chicken salad, chocolate bar, freshly squeezed OJ, piece of fruit.

S: beans on toast or veg chilli, magnum or yoghurt

Loads of herbal tea and water

I am always surprised at the hospital when I see so many overweight - even obese - nurses and doctors. Not only are some of them presumably middle-class, but they should be the most educated about the repercussions of that shock

It's shift work, tiredness leading to carb cravings, poor quality food available to staff, long hours (13h days versus "standard" 8h) so even less time to buy & prep health food/exercise, chocolates on the wards left by grateful patients & relatives.

"I did what people on this thread have said you can do. I bought cheap fruit and vegetables, lentils, chickpeas, rice, porridge oats and so on."

Good for you. Were you brought up with that kind of food and are a good cook?

"Food is not a treat when it makes you feel rubbish."

Chocolate cake is definitely a treat for me and doesn't make me feel rubbish until I can't do up the buttons on my trousers.

"A tray of roast veg is super easy and tasty"

Mediterranean veg is expensive though and using the oven for a long time is too.
Lentil soup is OK, but I can't imagine getting excited about it. I'd so much rather a sandwich of white bread and cheese.

"Berries, avocadoes and prawns are still cheaper than most take aways."

How much is a bag of chips and compare how full you would feel after a bag of chips compared to some carrot soup. Anyway, the comparison doesn't have to be with takeaways. You could compare with buying cheap white bread and cheap jam.

Good for you. Were you brought up with that kind of food and are a good cook? No, I was brought up on fish fingers and baked beans. I am a functional cook, I can make something for not much money, that is fairly nutritionally balanced and that my child and I like.

I roast veg like carrots, parsnips, cauliflower, onions, sweet potato, all pretty cheap.

I don't agree that it is about time. The best thing many people could do for their health is only eat twice a day and only drink water. That doesn't actually cost time or money. It takes less time and coss less money.

However it is very hard for most people do that - will power, wanting their treats, habit etc.

I work with some very slim French women. They are never on a diet, in fact weight is never discussed. They pack away a three course meal every lunchtime, have a square of chocolate at 16h. But dinner is light ( soup/ grated carrot/ sald - and I mean only a salad. Very little/ no wine however.

Gwenhwyfar Both my DS and I would choose carrot and lentil soup with bread over a jam sandwich any day. Rubbish food just makes me feel ill and tired so I avoid it.

The thin rich people I know:

• Always cook / are cooked for from scratch and eat lots of green veggies
• Tend not to eat many carbs or sugary things
• Don't snack (except on maybe raw veggies)
• don't drink soft drinks eg Coke
• don't have diet anything
• often cut something like dairy, gluten, grains, sugars or carbs out of their diet
• Skip a meal or do some kind of fasting
• Generally don't hit the gym but are very active - maybe cycling, walking the dog, hiking, yoga etc
• tend to be tall so can carry weight more easily

"Both my DS and I would choose carrot and lentil soup with bread over a jam sandwich any day. Rubbish food just makes me feel ill and tired so I avoid it."

It's pretty normal to choose the fatty/sugary food though, it's not just me.

Pink, I bet they smoke though?

Just about every slim person I know whose eating habits I've observed, just eat a lot less than the overweight people I know whose eating habits I've observed.

It's nearly always the same with MN threads, asking what slim people eat to stay slim. It's rarely about what they eat and more to do with how much/how little.

I also don't know many slim people in real life who ever really think or worry about carbs.

Personally I couldn't even tell you what a 'carb heavy' meal is compared to a non carb heavy meal, as it doesn't enter my head to think about it.

Reducing appetite is a slow process but it can be done and it's worth it, to be able to eat more or less whatever you want...just a lot less of it.

"Just about every slim person I know whose eating habits I've observed, just eat a lot less than the overweight people I know whose eating habits I've observed. "

Not really true in my opinion. The slim people I know eat low calorie or 'light' food like soups and salads for lunch. They may not be doing it on purpose to reduce or maintain their weight, but that's what they're doing nevertheless.
Of course, many of them sometimes have treats and people say things like 'I don't know where they put it', but generally they eat light.

I eat a sandwich and a packet of crisps most days for lunch, as do a few others at work who are slim.

I don't know about them but I don't eat breakfast because I'm not hungry in the mornings.

I don't snack before dinner because the bread fills me up, whereas if I had a salad without bread I know I'd be hungry later.

Then a dinner that nearly always contains either potatoes, pasta or rice because again if it didn't, I'd probably be hungry again before bed.

But portion sizes also make a real difference, far more than carb counting etc.

Why don’t I lose weight? Time, specifically lack of it.

^^

Wrong answer.

You need a calorie deficit. If you are zooming around for 15 hours a day then you must be packing the calories away to not lose weight.

Diet is everything.

"I did what people on this thread have said you can do. I bought cheap fruit and vegetables, lentils, chickpeas, rice, porridge oats and so on."

Good for you. Were you brought up with that kind of food and are a good cook?

^

Nope. I was brought up on meat and two veg, sausages, etc

Took me 30 years to realise my diet was why I was perpetually 4 stone overweight so I learnt how to cook properly and feed myself nourishing food. Lentils included.

It's not that hard if you want it.

No-one has to be a 'good cook' as such nowadays.

The internet is awash with video tutorials and very easy step-by-step cooking instructions.

@Mascarponeandwine what do you eat though? It sounds like you should be burning plenty of calories just with your daily routine

I know more slim working class women than slim middle / upper class woman (and I am the latter!). People who use public transport, walk regularly, and cook from scratch will nearly always be slimmer and healthier than those don’t do those things no matter how many times they go to the gym!

I know quite a few rich thin women. In general, they:

Don’t work.
Are at the gym every day.
Don’t each much and what they do is low cal.
Employ others to take care of drudge like housework -that might tempt others to eat snacks as a reward for doing it.
Spend a lot of time ‘busy/distracted’ running children to activities, charity work, events.
They drink quite a lot with dinner but don’t really eat.
They have to fit into small tight clothes for going out with rich husband and friends.
Everyone they know is thin, competitive thinness.