To say mums of girls are smug

[TheMidiMitch]

Just been at a party where my son along with the other boys have been repeatedly told off for fighting (quite rightly so and largely by me). Whilst the girls are busy braiding hair and pretending to make cupcakes, the boys are looking like Lord of the Flies. Not meant to be a goady post but please let me know there's light at the end of this tunnel...anyone...

I'm the smug one, the girls are a nightmare!!

Nice. were you an arsehole at 12? I remember being a normal human much like the boys.

'and that the only way to move forward is to be like a boy.'

That's quite funny after the dresses on crawling babies posts :D

Yes they were literally unable to move forward, and would have been if dressed 'like a boy'

Proper lol :D

Not getting the victim stuff either think that poster has said it a few times and no one engaged so guess I'm not the only one thinking huh? And moving on :F

You are most definitely not the only one

@guyliner no I wasn't but obviously, you are!!

Dunno new account I'm in v middle class spot of north London

I was taken aback by the pink flounces

Making little girls 'pretty' seems ubiquitous apart from hardcore hippie / feminist zones!

Maybe it's just my area, then - I notice a real difference in different settings (just as the breasts appear and the bottles disappear!). I think it's exacerbated by the fact (that really annoys me) that 'cheap' baby clothes from supermarkets etc are much more heavily gendered than expensive scandi brands, JoJo Maman, etc. It's something I noticed with sportswear before I had a baby - the less you pay the more ubiquitously pink it gets.

I think it might be Location

Everyone pretty much bf
And yet
Female babies taking a nosedive (literally) left right and centre as they crawled into their clothes
What does that teach them?
Don't move, it's frustrating and sometimes painful

Annoyed all over again now, this was years ago!

Boys are easier for lots of reasons too numerous to mention, They are easier from birth apart from peeing all over you like a fountain.

I think more often than not girls come out of the teen years and rebuild a great relationship with their DM.
My DD is a cheeky sod at the moment, she is on her way to puberty so I pick my battles, I know my sweet lady will be back again. Girls are ace.
Yes my son will probably be easier as a teen but DD will be worth the stress.

I agree with a lot but the one thing that always comes up with my older two is that girls are always told they can be anything and do anything, eg on ads they'll say 'be what you want to be' but the boys are never given this message and I do actually find this (please don't kill me!) That people are so set on telling women to reach for the stars etc but the boys don't really hear this

Why do people say teen girls are more difficult? I think they write off teen boys. When I look at crime and anti social behaviour it’s mostly committed by teenage boys and young men. When I was a teen yes we girls had some friendship dramas but some the boys were doing vandalism (police involved), reckless driving, drink/drugs, or pressuring girls to have sex.

Sorry but I’ll take a moody bitch over some of the stuff boys get up to any day.

My DD is 7 and is usually instigating rebellion. Examples include the time she just marched into the middle of some yr 5s boys playing football and made them let her play, the time she started a "battle" of girls v boys at breakfast club, the time she screamed at my dad that gardening isn't a boys job because you don't need a willy to do it....

She just sounds unpleasant tbh. No, not because of any 'rabid feminism' or that she is a girl 'asserting herself" but because 1) I wouldn't expect or make my yr 5 boys or girls include a 7 yr old in their game 2) a 'battle' at breakfast club? wtf? and 3) SCREAMING at grandpa or nanna or anyone really, is not acceptable behaviour.

I'm lucky enough to have a couple of each and they have ALL been wonderful.
I don't subscribe to the 'boys will be boys" school of thought so dominant in this thread. Unacceptable behaviour is unacceptable behaviour no matter who is doing it. 'Boys will be boys" may seem a 'cutesy' way of explaining shit behaviour as a child, not so much as a teen or adult as we all must know?
They were parented differently where necessary which was NOT by boy v girl but rather their own personalities and needs.

Teenagehood was a dream for 2 of 3 (4th is just starting down that road) and that 3rd was only ever pushing boundaries, never rude or hateful or even disrespectful. He just did dumb things.
3 happy successful adult children living their lives doing what makes them happy. 1 barely teen looking pretty ok at this stage, if that changes, I'll deal.
So yeah, smug mother of girls AND boys. Incredible people, all of them

Your wrong OP!

I have 5DC,3 DS's and 2 DD's and they can alll be a pain in the arse when they want to be all in very different ways to each other but still a pain in the arse.

They can also all be really lovely and it would be the same I'm sure if I'd had 5 boys or 5 girls.

I have 3 boys. 17, 6 and 3. With my 17 year old, I was young and didn't know much, if anything about gender stereotyping. However, he was a lovely, gentle, caring boy. He wasn't in to rough/tumble type games. He has grown in to a lovely (but zero common sense man). He has a mix of interests, but others would not describe him as having stereotypical male interests or personailty type.
When he was 10, and I was expecting my now 6 year old I was much more educated with regards to feminism and gender sterotypes. I set off with the idea to provide lots of different experiences/toys to my DS. His room was rainbow brights. As were his clothing. They still are in fact. We own toy cars, toy trains, lego, board games, dolls, prams, sylvanian families, dolls house, kitchen, a gazillion sets of play food, along with a whole host of other toys that may be classed as typical "girls or boys toys". We don't watch fighting programmes either. They have never watched power rangers or the like. Examples of recent programmes watched include Barbie (current favourite, I think it's dreadful and am steering away from it!), paw patrol, pj masks, kit and pup, team umizoomi. Films are Trolls, Secret life of pets, Frozen, Moana, Matilda.
I think I try to teach them that you don't need to be a girl or boy to like a certain thing. I don't encourage fighting at all. Or say the whole boys will be boys thing.
Yet, my 2 younger DS's fight, fight, fight, then fight some more. They scream at each other, they are just 24/7 fighting (so it feels like). My 6 year old, from all the toys we have, plays with trains and cars all day long. Admittedly he is autistic and has adhd too. So some of that play is down to his condition. But he is so very stereotypical "boy" in so many aspects of his personality despite giving him lots of different experiences. I can't believe that nature doesn't have a lot to answer for.
His 3 year old brother is basically a carbon copy of him (minus the autism/adhd quirks). They are so very very physical, despite a lot of work on my part to discourage it.
Any ideas on this one?! Because it doesn't make much sense to me unless nature really does create the base of who we are.

Having both girls and boys I can confidently say that IME boys are harder when younger and girls are harder during the teenage years. Both have their challenges but both are very rewarding, just at different times. In other words they both have times when you want to lock yourself away in a darkened room with a bottle of gin and scream into your pillow.

I have 6, 3 of each! Oldest is 11, and until the last year or so I’ve not found them massively different in terms of how boisterous they are, but as they’re getting older I’m finding the girls harder but could just be personality. I’ve not bought them up any differently based on their sex.

Have 2 girls. One was always falling out with friends and everything was such a drama. She’s 19 and creative now but life is still a drama. The youngest dd is 13 and very matter of fact. She shrugs off dramas other girls are having and loves school and loves to skate board. Both very different.

@Andanotherthingg my DD pooped in the cubby because she was playing hide and seek and didn't want to come out and lose her hiding spot..... I only found out when DS toddler went in there and she said to me '(insert dog's name here) had done a poo in the cubby and could I get it so that her little brother could play in there.

The dog is very well behaved so I quickly smelled a rat in that story...... trade you, your son for my DD lol.

My ds is 11. He is always having a friendship drama, is annoyed at someone, is mates one minute and not the next, is hormonal, grumpy, bitchy.

I find this thread extremely sexist.

Guess what, when these 'nightmare' teens grow into mature women. Who be laughing then and saying 'oh I'm glad I have a girl! We go on days out together etc'

It's possible to go on days out with adult sons and daughters you know?
It's rather sexist to assume that adult sons don't want to go out with their parents for the day.

It's rather sexist to assume that adult sons don't want to go out with their parents for the day.

Well it is pretty common for men to drift from their parents as adults while women stay more loyal in adulthood and crave that family connection.

Some do, some don't. My two sons and I (both older teenagers) go out for coffee or lunch together and I can't see that changing any time soon. Some men do, some men don't.

girls are always told they can be anything and do anything, eg on ads they'll say 'be what you want to be' but the boys are never given this message

I find this depressing too. I wish we could give boys and girls the very same messages to achieve and discover what (to borrow a term from Marie Kondo) sparks joy.

The qualities and characteristics that lead to life success will be the same regardless of gender, and the unique difficulties women face in the workplace is faced during our childbearing years. Support should be concentrated at that point, as it’s hard for little girls to imagine why motherhood can be so life-limiting (not to put too fine a point on it, but pre-baby me was also ignorant on just how life changing a child can be, and I just didn’t understand why they “chose” to reduce hours or “chose” to go on the mommy track).

Society is really cruel when they cheerlead little girls rah rah you can do ANYTHING but when they actually need help and support to make their career compatible with motherhood, it turns back and says “YOU CHOSE THIS!” and leaves you to muddle through best you can.

What an utterly depressing thread. What chance do long women have in the world if even their parents are slagging them off on a public forum? I hate the word 'bitch' used in this context because, in itself, it is a female word and indicates that only girls/women behave in a certain way. Having worked with both sexes ie adults, my experience is that women are much more supportive of each other than this thread would suggest. Also, that men can be sneaky and gossipy and compete with each other in unpleasant ways. I do think that MN is attracting posters of lower intelligence than even a couple of years ago.