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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what happened to you in your life that you never thought would?

417 replies

Flyinga · 18/04/2019 20:04

Good, bad, ugly etc.

OP posts:
SanJunipero · 18/04/2019 21:43

I never thought I'd be widowed at 35 - it's just not what you imagine on your wedding day when you assume you'll grow old together.

Never thought I'd struggle to get pregnant.

Never, ever thought I'd give up the career I worked so hard for in order to stay at home with my son. So far, it's turning out to be a brilliant decision as he makes me feel far more fulfilled than my job ever did.

Tupperwarelid · 18/04/2019 21:44

Never expected to be diagnosed type 1 diabetic age 22 just before I sat my solicitor’s final exams.
Never expected to not qualify as a solicitor but also didn’t expect to become an HR professional instead, a job I loved.
Never expected to be divorced by my 30th birthday and then never expected to remarry and have 2 children.
Never expected one of those children to be on the autistic spectrum
Never expected to be able to run half marathons

Whatisgoingonwithmylife · 18/04/2019 21:46

I met and fell in love with a man I thought was the love of my life! Finding out that he loved me too made me believe that I’d live happily ever after. Transpires that he didn’t love me after all!

Caxx · 18/04/2019 21:46

Never thought I would loose my partner and toddler to cancer in the same year
Luckily my partner went first so he didn't have to see our child go
I've been left with 4 children my oldest has just started a children's nursing degree I'm very proud of him
I've just started a reading and writing course as I've been hiding my failures along time
Things are slowly getting better 12 months on .

OhTheRoses · 18/04/2019 21:47

Never thought I'd ever be reported to Social Services or screamed at across a&e that I was obstructing my child's care and the police would be called if we left.

ToffeePennie · 18/04/2019 21:47

Having children. I have spent the majority of my childhood being told I would never be “allowed” to have children. I was told to my face aged 16 that my body would never tolerate having children and if I was to ever fall pregnant I would be offered an immediate medical termination.
Turns out actually all those doctors and specialists were wrong.
Ive has two children. With no complications whatsoever.

vasillisa · 18/04/2019 21:48

Tons of stuff. Losing a parent young, getting pregnant young. Travelling to and living in places I only ever dreamed about when I was a child of a single parent - never went on plane until in 20s.

Long term partner didnt want kids and we broke up - never thought we would one day be good friends again after a lot of heartache.

Meeting a man from a million miles away who became DH. Having a child with multiple mild disabilities. Only having one child.

Owning 2 properties by time was 40. Never envisaged that.

Being in one place for so long - was always moving house and job when younger, and lived by sea.

Losing some friends young, finding some awesome friends later.

Getting fatter - was always a string bean. Going off sex. I was a nymph when younger.

Life is full of curve balls.

StormcloakNord · 18/04/2019 21:49

Oh! I also thought I'd never be off benefits. Spent years on benefits and never thought I'd get to a point where I didn't need them...

vasillisa · 18/04/2019 21:49

Selling out my radical politics - teenage self would be askance at steady job and properties!

whatevermany · 18/04/2019 21:51

Raped at 21

Married and then divorced (violent)

I have a little girl who is my whole world. Didn't see myself as maternal at all

I am grateful that I get to give the love that I do. That life is as good as it is.

I could do without the ptsd though 🙈

SimonJT · 18/04/2019 21:51

I never thought I would be able to go to uni

I never thought I would be/be allowed to be a parent

I never thought I would be able to own my own home

I never thought I would meet someone and travel the world with them

I never thought I would be happy about my sexuality

YouBumder · 18/04/2019 21:52

Ending up really fat

hopelessatthinkingupusernames · 18/04/2019 21:53

Losing both my parents in my 20s. Separate incidents but both were very sudden and unexpected.

TheFastandCurious · 18/04/2019 21:54

Having so many children and working in a shit job.

I’ve always been super careful. Ensured I was married before carefully planning 2 children then getting sterilised.

Unfortunately the marriage broke down and I met another lovely man who I eventually married but I explained that I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever have a child with him.

It turned out he was an amazing step father and after a few years my children began asking for a sibling (new husband didn’t have children). After VERY careful consideration, discussions and planning we went ahead and paid for a sterilisation reversal. We thought one child would be ok as the other children were much older (double figures) so it would be fairly easy with 3.

Sadly I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost a fallopian tube making it less likely I’d have a baby. By some miracle I fell pregnant with shortly after and our daughter was born in 2015.

During my pregnancy I finished my degree and got accepted onto a Masters level work programme that would give me a MA and a profession and a guaranteed job.

We went on a lovely holiday to celebrate. When I came back I visited the doctor to adjust my contraception (depo vera shot) because it made me constantly bleed. While I was there the doctor examined me and sent me for an emergency scan as the bleeding was so heavy and prolonged.

The scan showed a 20 week old baby in there. The baby was due a week after I started the postgraduate programme. As it turned out she arrived three weeks early and just after my 40th birthday.

I’m now 41 with 4 kids and I work in fucking Subway. Confused

homemadegin · 18/04/2019 21:55

Having a child. My infertility and recurrent miscarriages reached the point where I could no longer visualise holding a baby in my arms. DD came from nowhere and is my world. So here I am giving up a long established career because she's all I've ever wanted.

The sad thing is that those I thought were friends have walked away and those I didn't appreciate have stood by my side. I don't really get that.

SofaSurfer20 · 18/04/2019 21:56

Never thought id be raped

Never thought id have a child

Never thought id be in a relationship longer than my siblings longest relationships combined.

Never thought id get emotional at how much my child means to me.

Satterthwaite · 18/04/2019 21:57

I got married. And stayed married!

bert3400 · 18/04/2019 22:00

I never thought I would meet such a wonderful man and be blissfully happy especially after going through a messy divorce when I was younger . We celebrate 21 years this year and my heart still skips a bit when I see him .

MagicKeysToAsda · 18/04/2019 22:00

Didn't imagine getting married - but met an amazing man and did so, at 23, and was deeply happy.
Didn't imagine becoming widowed - but was, at 27. Indescribable.
Didn't imagine becoming a parent - but did at 38 when I adopted a phenomenal little girl (single parent).
Didn't imagine ever sleeping again during her first few years with me, but happy to say that now we both do!

Echobelly · 18/04/2019 22:01

This is a really fascinating thread... both sorry and glad I have nothing to contribute, my life has carried on in a boringly orderly fashion!

vasillisa · 18/04/2019 22:03

Being involved in a cult/sect and getting myself out of it

vasillisa · 18/04/2019 22:04

Much later...getting married in a Quaker meeting house. Much more honest and gentle!

Enko · 18/04/2019 22:04

Never thought I would end up living in the UK for most of my life.

Andromeida59 · 18/04/2019 22:05

Good: never thought I would leave my home town, have a degree, a PGCE and working towards my MA. Never thought I'd own my home let alone other property. Never thought I could own my dream home. I never thought I could find a partner as amazing as DP.

Bad: never thought I'd lose my Dad at 27. Never thought I'd be mistreated by the NHS leading to countless misdiagnosed. Never thought that I'd be crippled by illness. Hopefully getting better but it's still been tough.

Historydweeb · 18/04/2019 22:05

@caxx I'm so sorry to hear that, how heartbreaking.
Totally not a pity party but widowed at 26. I genuinely thought I'd be pushing him around in a wheelchair at 90, instead I was formally identifying his body after it had lain undiscovered for a week in the middle of summer. That will never leave me.
Lost my wonderful dad 11 months later. Psychosis ensued.
I wish they could have lived to watch me turn my life around. ( I was a very wayward and disturbed teen) I feel so lucky to have known them though and I know they loved me.