AIBU to ask what happened to you in your life that you never thought would?

[Flyinga]

Good, bad, ugly etc.

Oh god, loads of stuff.

Never thought I'd be pregnant aged 19.

After that happened - never thought I'd move abroad (but always wanted to).

Never thought - if I did move abroad - that I'd stay for longer than a couple of years.

Never thought I'd drop out of uni. (Not related to pregnancy)/not have any kind of job/educational achievements by the age of 30. That's a bit of a sad one.

Never thought I'd marry the weird funny kid from school - that's a good one.

Never thought I'd have kids with a 10 year age gap. Or that I'd want to stop at two. (This one might be undone).

Never thought I'd be diagnosed with ADHD. Just surprising, neither good nor bad.

Weird one - never thought I'd struggle with parenting. I have no idea why. I just expected to be ace at it. I do mostly find it great but there are definitely aspects which have taken me to very dark places.

This is a weird one that sounds really superficial & vain..

I never thought I'd lose my looks... I was really attractive for a large portion of my early life and it's all just kind of... gone. I'm fat, my skin is in shit condition and tumour all over my body have left me lumpy (literally) and with chunks of muscle missing. I've truly lost my good looks and it's a bit sad.

On the other hand I never thought I'd be lucky enough to land on my feet financially. Met DH who was very financially stable and he really opened up my life. I own a house now after being in council housing and have a healthy pot of savings and can afford another baby.

Swings n roundabouts I guess.

I never thought I would have 4 kids but love them all dearly. Feel so lucky to have a great dh. Have had bad things happen lost my mum relatively young in tragic citcumstances and had a lot of horrible events happen career wise but have managed to change career at the age of 50.

I never thought I wouldn’t have found a strong bunch of friends.

that the guy I fell in love with at 18 and I would finally be ready for a real relationship with me when I was 51.

Bad:

Expected to have a big family, 2 mc losing 3 babies and a very medically fraught pregnancy and birth with dd during which we both almost died followed by me being told another pregnancy & birth would be a risk to my life put paid to that.

Becoming disabled - couldn't predict being rammed by a dick on his phone!

Becoming mentally ill - objectively given my personal history somewhat predictable but I still didn't expect it.

Divorce - I don't think anyone marries expecting to divorce and his having an affair was so out of character I still get comments of bewilderment from people who've known him almost all his life.

Having a child with a disability. Even though it's genetic the relatives that likely passed the gene on have much milder forms. What seems to have happened is there are people on both mine and her fathers side with the milder forms and genetics being little gits sometimes it's like she's been hit by a double whammy.

It's invisible, but very painful and not well understood even by Nhs staff and so it's been incredibly difficult to get a DX and since DX to get the ramifications understood, acknowledged and treated by anyone not a specialist in the field it comes under. Seeing dd dealing with people's ignorance and lack of compassion is heartbreaking and frustrating.

Have lost several loved ones, friends and colleagues far younger than would be normally expected. Accidents are one thing, though of course by their nature unexpected, but suicide and seemingly healthy fit people dying of undx heart issues etc is very shocking.

Good

Following the 2nd mc at that point I felt becoming a mum was out of my reach.

Living overseas again as an adult - wasn't planned and was an amazing experience

Getting my second degree - didn't expect to get accepted as my qualifications weren't great, (first degree completely unrelated subject and didn't have high entry requirements) then I found I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience and I wasn't as stupid as i feared.

Finding I could survive a divorce - beforehand I would have said I wasn't strong enough. I survived all the lies and bullshit, being left penniless, almost homeless with dd barely a toddler.

Finding my first "best friend" as an adult. Never had one at school as I'm an army brat and moved around a lot so was always a 3rd wheel. So I never expected to have that experience. May seem silly but it's meant a great deal to me.

to all who've lost loved ones.

At fifty I was going through a divorce. Never had the chance for children, I had been desperate for them. Faced a lonely future with a mountain of debt. (His, not mine)
Within two years, I had met the true love of my life, moved to another country, his two adult children called me Mum. I thought my life was complete. I was incredibly happy. Then the Grandchildren came along. I am fulfilled as a Mother and a Wife.

We are financially sound, travel a lot and have a wonderful loving family. The first 50 yrs of my life were miserable. But, for, the last 15yrs I have been on cloud 9.
Miracles do happen. Don’t give up on your dreams.

Never thought I would be married twice.
Never thought I would have a third child at 42.
Never thought I would struggle with depression

Never thought I would continue to be abused by my abusive husband through the Courts in Ireland even though we're divorced years! Never thought I would nearly die from a haemorrhage. Plus I now have a lifelong condition which I inherited from my dad. He and I got the worst presentation of it but he was in his 60's and I was 46 and a single working mother. I had unsuccessful surgery to try and cure this condition and face another surgery for it. My beautiful dd1 has a condition inherited from the other side of the family. She was in grave danger 2 weeks ago but now faces surgery to remove her thyroid when her levels get back to 'normal' in about 6 months. I work in a completely different field to what I trained in. In one way I am lucky that I'm in an office job now as my health is so bad I couldn't have continued in the other field! Plus I wouldn't have as good sick leave and sick pay in the other field either.

to so many people above and huge hugs and best wishes too Xxxx Never really expected to have kids (have 4) never expected to lose a child (miscarriage), never expected mental health issues on a big scale in my family and depression with me, never expected my dad to die, never expected us to be able to manage without him. Never expected body to be crocked by 38, never expected to go paragliding, learn to swim, never expected kids to be my whole world and love them being my whole world!!

Never thought I would be able to move through my baggage after growing up with an abusive parent. There might be a few bits remaining but I feel really proud of the work I've done.

Being able to have two gorgeous little girls. Sorry for being soppy but I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 14 and had probably one period a year. I just always assumed I’d never be able to have children and had more or less come to terms with it. DH and I went for one fertility consultation to see what an expert would say. He gave us Clomid at that first appointment and 15 months later I had my first baby.

Hmmm. I had quite a chaotic childhood really, and my only focus when young was getting away from it. But what I didn’t realise was that my tendencies to be impulsive and sometime irresponsible would lead to me repeating the pattern as an adult. The plan was - Uni at 18, maybe married early 20’s but instead it went:

Car accident causing long term problems at 14
Homeless at 16
A Mum at 17
Domestic abuse survivor and Mum of 4 by 22
PSTD sufferer and drug user st 23
Involuntary Mental health inpatient at 25
Degree at 27
Married again at 31 to another abusive man
A stillborn baby at 32
A mum of 7 by 33
Someone who has lost both parents by 36
Divorced at 37
Back to the mental health people at 38

And now, finally - a nurse, a person with a lot of wisdom and 7 older or grown up children, with a cat, and finally, no man in sight to fuck it up for me

If you’d had asked me years ago, I’d have predicted a quiet life, 1 or 2 kids, stability and a LTR with someone who loved me. I have accepted now I will never have a proper ‘loving relationship’ with anyone, my childhood was too toxic for that to ever happen. I didn’t expect that. But with my amazing DC’s and my lovely cat I have all the love I need 😊

Other good things: I never expected to be able to travel to some of the places I have - Maldives, Seychelles, Singapore, Malaysia, Canada - lots of places.

Drug addiction. And then getting clean when I had almost accepted that was how I would die.
My daughter, after 10 miscarriages, I'd given up. She was a surprise!

Never thought my first love would cheat on me ( was such a blessing now looking back)

Never thought I would travel the world in my 20s!!!!

That my brother would die very young

That I would graduate top of my year from oxbridge

Go on to have the most amazing career

End up in a fcking abusive relationship and almost die because of the rat

End up living by the ocean on w huge farm
My family are so so happy now

Been tough though we made it

Divorce, having my ex husband’s baby alone, being a single parent for years and years...

On the plus side, I can do anything! Life threw me a massive curve ball and I got up and I carried on.

My father writing me out of his will.

Never thoight id go to university- have degree and PhD.

Never thought id have two children 1 at 19 the 2nd at 35.

Never thought anxiety would ruin my life. Nor did i expect to be diagnosed with a personality disorder.

I thought I'd get married

Never expected to have a decent man stand by me for over half my life, he did, he just never married me.

Never expected to be a home owner.

Having a chronic illness and feeling so shite whilst Drs pushing you back and forth with treatment.

I don't think anything has ever worked out like I thought it would, whether big things, good things or bad things. I've come to consider that as normal. Isn't it? I mean, we live in a world with lots of other people. Stands to reason that any plans you make generally can't factor in their actions. Plus you can only control stuff like your own health to a certain degree. It would be more weird if life did pan out as you thought it would. Then you'd be Doris Stokes or Uri Geller or something.

Bloody twins on the 2nd pregnancy.
By god I love all my kids but 3 has been a financial drain on us and has affected my ability to earn.

Never thought I'd lose my mum so young and lose contact with mum dad.

Husband of many years treated me so badly I had to kick him out, still not got to the bottom of the reason why.

Now bringing up two children with no support network. So hard but I'd be so lost without them. They're amazing 🙂

I mean my dad not mum dad

That the way I saw "normal life" would be so dramatically challenged and turned on its head.

I now realise they way I view things is very very different to other people.

Being a step mum!
Never really thought about it until I met the love of my life who came with adorable offspring.

Maintaining a 9-5 job for many years. I granduated into the recession and thought I would be unemployed/badly self-employed/struggling to get shifts on 0 hour contracts forever!