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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask what happened to you in your life that you never thought would?

417 replies

Flyinga · 18/04/2019 20:04

Good, bad, ugly etc.

OP posts:
EleanorOalike · 19/04/2019 11:52

Being single and childless at 35. Never having a relationship where I was loved.

ElfrideSwancourt · 19/04/2019 12:04

I always assumed I would work in my professional career until retirement, but I suddenly developed a career-ending chronic illness in my mid 30s.

I did get to spend a lot more time with my DDs, and retrained in my mid 40s.

My eldest DD is finishing uni and starting to plan her life - I really hope hers is better.

I have stayed married for mainly financial reasons - always planned to be the breadwinner but it hasn't worked out like that.

xmasbaba2014 · 19/04/2019 12:05

Never thought I'd have four children, I never wanted children when I was young. Also never expected after two children with no health issues that the next two would be severely autistic.
Never thought I'd have the courage to be openly in a same sex relationship.
My life actually hasn't turned out anything like I would have expected but I wouldn't change a bit of it. It's different than I thought but good different.

RedPanda2 · 19/04/2019 12:07

Living in a village
Living with a man
Running marathons

Isohungy · 19/04/2019 12:49

I never thought I'd marry a decent guy that I love. I assumed i'd end up with someone exploitive and nasty as that's all I knew.

Never thought i'd know love like the love I have for my children.

I also didn't expect to struggle/nor enjoy parenting 2nd time around.

I knew i'd fight tooth and nail to make something of myself- I have but suffer imposter syndrome reguarly.

Never thought i'd get fat again

Never thought i'd suffer the indescribable pain of losing babies.

I otherwise love my life even if I forget that sometimes.

VenusStarr · 19/04/2019 13:00

Struggling to conceive and then miscarrying my much wanted baby

Angellucy07 · 19/04/2019 13:07

I always thought my eldest child would one day learn to talk.
As a baby I waited and waited for his first word.

He''ll be twenty years old this summer and never spoken a word in his life.
He does however have a smile that lights up the room.

Whattodofgs · 19/04/2019 16:59

Angellucy07 WinkThanks

Whattodofgs · 19/04/2019 16:59

Sorry random emoji in with the flowers Blush

Palaver1 · 19/04/2019 17:26

Angellucy07

Iamnobirdandnonetensnaresme · 19/04/2019 17:28

My childhood best friend had an affair with my Husband

Kingk1 · 19/04/2019 17:30

Living in a woman refugee with my children after suffering a brutal attack from my then boyfriend. Forward 4 years met a fabulous man who owns his own successful business, live in a beautiful hse but will always carry the scars of Wat my ex did to me and the embrassment of been homeless.

mandacp · 19/04/2019 17:31

Be brave enough to cut out my abusive mother even though she has still managed to paint it all as me being the worst daughter in the world

beautifullybonkers · 19/04/2019 17:35

Never thought I’d get divorced but I did and then thought I would never do that again and would be happily independent and single for life. However met Mr Wonderful 9 years later and married him with 3months of meeting. I never dreamed I could be that happy or that life could be so cruel and I’d be widowed at 43 left to raise our children alone with no family support. Never thought I’d not have a real career but gave up to support my late husband and care for the kids and it’s too late to go back now.

However, I never guessed I could feel as confident as I do now and that despite losing the love of my life I could find reasons to laugh and smile and keep going.

Mommabadass · 19/04/2019 17:40

I envisioned an active life surfing with my kids and having mad adventures , but my child is completely disabled, she can’t walk and can’t talk, can’t eat, can’t do anything and I rarely leave the house as it is very physically and mentally demanding caring for her. She is also the the best part of my life because what she can do is laugh her head off and light the room up with pure joy . She is perfect to me and I love her fiercely ❤️

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 19/04/2019 17:43

Bad.Been married twice
Good.Been married twice.My exh was a dick,dh isn't .

Kkmuppet · 19/04/2019 17:44

I never ever thought I would have children as I just didn’t want them.

Having changed my mind I never thought I could or would endure the multiple miscarriages and the loss of a child that we had to go through to get our family

Tessabelle74 · 19/04/2019 17:47

Have 4 kids!! I was 33 when I met my husband and had resigned myself to being an Aunty and god mother. 12 years later my life couldn't be further from how I'd imagined it at 33 😁

SundayGirlB · 19/04/2019 17:47

Bad: lost my brother to suicide, few years later mum had a massive stroke at 50 which she survived but has left her disabled. Good job but never achieved dream job.

Good: married to an amazing man, expecting my first child any day and financially secure. Finally feel emotionally healthy. Had a shit, abusive dad and a breadline childhood so feel incredibly grateful for this.

duffeldaisy · 19/04/2019 17:50

Recovering from depression and having a whole new life afterwards.
I can't actually remember a time when I didn't have depressive symptoms, even as a young child (had a bit of a shaky start in life). And it worsened when I was a teenager into clinical depression.

I did some reading to understand it and went to counselling and worked hard to get better, but assumed (and was told) this was it, I was a natural depressive.

Then, over time, it finally lifted, and the last decade or so has been amazing, not so much a new chapter as a new book. I'm just writing this because if anyone reading through these posts is currently suffering from depression, it feels absolutely permanent, all-consuming, there seems no way out at the time. But there can be. Don't ever, ever lose hope.

I can't give any advice - I just very half-heartedly tried everything I could (on a minimal budget) to try to fight it over many, many years - all sorts of things like doing art, trying to go for a walk, trying to keep some kind of social contact with people.

But now I've been well for over a decade, it's so clear how it's a brain malfunction, that what I thought was hopeless for so long wasn't actually hopeless, just too tricky. It was so life-changing to get better. I have gone from suicidal to being functional, and getting joy out of life again.

TigerTooth · 19/04/2019 17:51

Never thought I get this fatShock

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 19/04/2019 17:52

Good
My child

Bad
Cancer

Ugly
STBXH cheating with colleague when I was depressed and suicidal

boredboredboredboredbored · 19/04/2019 17:53

I too never thought I'd get divorced, although it was clear around 3 years into the marriage we carried on for another 11 years.

I never ever expected to meet anybody internet dating. 4 hours after I set up my account I had a message from the only man I replied to. He turned out to be the very best thing that's ever happened to me. He tolerates my mad ways and loves me like I've never known. We are getting married next year.

I also thought I'd never fly again after 10 years of being terrified. Above man helped me get on that plane last year. I've done 6 flights since Smile

IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 19/04/2019 17:53

I never thought I would have a decent career and a house at 22/23 in a few months

Julia001 · 19/04/2019 17:56

Loosing my eldest child last year when she was 26 - it’s totally shit and you never get over it.