Mum keeps saying I won't be able to cope

[mcjx]

Being induced next week and whenever I say that I'm excited and I can't wait for him to be here, my mum always responds with things such as "you won't be saying that next week" and "I don't know how you're going to cope".

Obviously I know that labour is going to be painful and I'm not going into it being naive thinking it won't be. Our body's were created to do this and millions of babies have been born since the beginning of time and we have managed!

She's really putting me off and is being quite annoying about it - she hasn't even experienced a vaginal birth anyway as had 2 ELCS.

WIBU to tell her to stop with the comments and start being more supportive instead?

I've never managed to have a natural birth. Your comment stung there a little bit. Also many women can't give birth naturally. Our bodies have evolved terribly for childbirth with smaller hips and massive baby heads.

Saying that your mum is wrong. I am sure you will be fine. Also she's wrong about cs being more painful. That drip is evil. The epidural didn't work for me once I had that drip and honestly it just felt like I was being attacked with a chainsaw. I would never have that drip again. But everyone copes with the pain differently and she is wrong to put you down like that. Hope it goes well for you OP!

Well your dh too says you have a low pain threshold, so that is why she is worried.particulstly as you are having an induction which means labour doesn't necessarily follow the natural path of a build up.
Do not say a cs is not painful if you haven't had one. I have and would have VB s every time

I have had four c sections and found the recovery painful with my later ones. My body will always be affected because I've got a lot of scar tissue on the inside of my uterus now and have been sterilised as was told if I had more scar tissue it can grow onto my bladder and bowel. So I don't agree a vaginal delievery is always worse.
I know what labour feels like as I was in labour with my first for 28 hours before having a section.
I think your mum cares and is worried about you, it's just not coming across very well.

I’ve had a csection and ‘actual’ childbirth and can honestly say the csection was far far worse pain wise. You don’t know how you’ll cope with contractions, but you can have whatever pain relief you want so it really doesn’t matter.

It just depends. I had a VB and a Caesarian. I’d have the Caesarian again without a doubt. Recovery time for me was a lot less.

No two births are the same.
Also something in your brain seems to dull part of the pain ..
Plus you get your baby. Within scars and quicker healing time.

I never realised that people actually consider c-section as 'giving birth' and get highly offended if people don't think so. TIL!

I think both ways of getting a child into the world are equally important and I don't see any as better than the other, but I have never in all my years heard c-section referred to as giving birth or anything

I'm shit with pain and I just about coped! I was getting close to considering an epidural if it went on much longer but wanted to avoid one if I could bear to as it can cause nerve problems ages later. Gas and air doesn't make it not painful but helps you breathe through the pain a bit and gives a slight feeling like you've had a glass of wine. If you are allowed a water birth I felt that helped reduce contraction pain slightly (only slightly but every little helps).
C section means being in pain after birth for a lot longer as far as I can tell (I've only had vaginal birth though).
You can do it!

Obviously I know c-section is a type of birth. Just never heard it referred to as giving birth or anything

Sorry x post

I’ve had a csection and ‘actual’ childbirth and can honestly say the csection was far far worse pain wise. You don’t know how you’ll cope with contractions, but you can have whatever pain relief you want so it really doesn’t matter.

I got to full dilation with my first, pushed and had failed forceps before an emcs. The back to back labour pain plus the bruising from the forceps was a million times more painful than the c-section recovery which didn't hurt at all and neither did my 2nd emergency section recovery with dc2...no need for pain killers whatsoever.

Basically we are all different and you can't extrapolate from anyone else's experience what yours will be like or how you will cope but you will cope.

Don't let her anywhere near you when you are in labour and tell her that you find her comments pretty pointless and unhelpful. Baby can't stay put forever thus you will cope with whatever happens because there is little choice in the matter. I personally found "this will pass" quite helpful during labour because it does, no one stays in labour forever not to mention ignoring my dm (who takes the fact that my dc's giant heads can't navigate my pelvis personally).

@mcjx I would 1000% recommend getting the positive birth company's digital pack (and ignoring your mum). thepositivebirthcompany.co.uk/digital-pack?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0PDwo5bc4QIVa77tCh05NALPEAAYASAAEgLqePD_BwE

I was recommended it on here and it's brilliant, a full set of videos you can watch with your OH based on hypnobirthing and there's a full one on positive birth inductions. Also, best bit is the access to the private facebook group where you can read lots and lots of positive birth stories in all shapes and forms - c sections, inductions, pools with gas and air - the lot. It gave me massive confidence and great tools to use within labour and honestly it hurt at the time yes but not insanely so, and it's a useful pain iykwim? It's fab, best £35 I ever spent, would really recommend it. Good luck and happy birthing!

I have had 4 naturally deliveries. 3 inductions, no epidurals, 2 with diamorphine and 2 only gas and air.

My 3rd was actually my best and I remember thinking I could do it all over again even before the placenta was delivered! Although I read the book 'childbirth without fear' during that pregnancy and I believe it helped.
My 4th was different though. Definitely the hardest. First 2 I was out it on diamorphine so can't remember much!

It really just depends on all sorts out factors. I know 2 people who have said they loved being in labour.

Fear plays a big part on how you cope and your mum is not helping. Whether it's because she is trying to warn you or feels a bit jealous I don't know...but I'd just say to her nicely that she is causing you to feel anxious so if she could please not mention it again unless it's something positive. She may not know how she's making you feel.

Good luck and congratulations!

Sorry should have said vaginal deliveries and not natural as there were inductions but you know what I mean!