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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel inferior to and in awe of all these high earners?

125 replies

malificent7 · 17/04/2019 17:33

My career has been a bit of a mess due to mh issues. I did well at school and uni but fell into teaching which im shite at and now an retraining to be a healthcare professional which i love.

I will not be a high earner and neither is dp and im happy but would be lovely to not struggle.

Aibu to think not everyone is cut out to be a high earner..we also need teachers amd nurses etc and it would be unwise to make the grade boundaries for these professions lower.
What i need is a lucrative side hustle.

OP posts:
HarrysOwl · 17/04/2019 17:35

Don't believe everything you read on the internet...

forky882 · 17/04/2019 17:40

There do seem to be an awful lot of them on here!

mbosnz · 17/04/2019 17:40

Hell no. Half of it's good luck, and being in the right suit, in the right place, at the right time. Don't feel inferior or in awe!

I feel inferior and in awe of people doing amazing jobs that really matter - like teaching, working in healthcare, police, social workers. . .

NewPapaGuinea · 17/04/2019 17:42

Why are they high earners? Stressful, long hours, oooodles of training required? What will being a high earner give you that you don’t have now?

Find a job you enjoy doing and you’ll never work a day in your life.

SachaStark · 17/04/2019 17:46

I’m a teacher, and DH is a shop manager, so we are lucky not to struggle. However, I agree, OP, that it is easy to feel inferior on here at times.

I can’t get over how many wealthy people there are on Mumsnet! So many people with such good salaries, and so many people my age who own property/have mortgages/have inheritances. It’s not representative of my real life community at all.

Sometimes, it makes me feel inferior to the other posters on here, but then in my real life, I love my little rental house, and we are lucky enough to earn enough money not to struggle, though we will never be wealthy.

Starwednesday · 17/04/2019 17:47

To me teachers and nurses are high earners, I’m on minimum wage and dh not a lot more
We are happy with our lot, I don’t want a stressful job with long hours and I can’t be arsed to train and get a career
Comparison is the thief of joy

RomanyQueen1 · 17/04/2019 17:48

God no, I like being poor, far less stress and nobody wanting pounds of my flesh.
Dh loves what he does, but it's not well paid.
We are far better than friends who are both working, no family time and having to juggle everything and live to certain times.
It all sounds exhausting.

Nnnnnineteen · 17/04/2019 17:54

No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
(Eleanor Roosevelt)

Original poster
malificent7 · 17/04/2019 17:55

Very true quote. Im just amazed at the no if high earners with high earning partners.

OP posts:
Foxmuffin · 17/04/2019 17:56

I know I’m going to get slated... But I get irked by those who live comfortably with little skills (I mean didn’t bust a gut for years to train in their profession whilst earning nothing and spending plenty on education). There was a post on here a few weeks ago where a lady said she had absolutely nothing in her bank account. She shared her income and it was £2,900 a month. She earnt £700 of that. £2,900 is the equivalent of a salary of around £47,000 and yet she was woeful at managing her money.

I wouldn’t rather that those people struggled. But think the system is broken when you can live so well off benefits/tax credits/housing benefit and actually come
out better than the average UK wage of £26k. I couldn’t collect £47k in handouts.

That’s my two pence!

Topseyt · 17/04/2019 17:56

I know what you mean, and we are not high earners either.

With the high earnings though must usually come high pressure and a lot more responsibility. These positions can be very exposed when things are not going so well, although lucrative when they are.

I think that overall I am happy plodding along as I am.

Foxmuffin · 17/04/2019 17:56

Should add irked because of the lack of stress, training, student debt and hours worked...

OldAndWornOut · 17/04/2019 17:59

I'm often in awe of people on here who are struggling with all sorts of problems; often alone.

I'm intrigued by the high earners, and think how nice it would be, though.

PierreBezukov · 17/04/2019 17:59

To many people, teachers and nurses are very high earners! YABU to feel inferior. That's your state of mind and you can change it if you want to.

7salmonswimming · 17/04/2019 18:00

Why do you feel inferior to them?

There's absolutely zero correlation between how much you earn and how "good" a person you are. If there were, nurses and teachers and firefighters and first responders and social workers and (God yes) volunteers would be millionaires, and bankers and hedge fund bosses would be in jail.

gettingimpatient222 · 17/04/2019 18:01

I'm not a high earner. For various reasons I've allowed myself to get stuck in a dead end office job. But it allows me to work flexibly around my family and when I clock off I can forget about work. Of course I would like to earn more but there are positives to being a pleb 😂😂

Oh is a high earner and constantly stressed by work.

SachaStark · 17/04/2019 18:03

I suppose it’s easy to feel inferior (even if I don’t want to be) because our capitalist society is set up in such a way that many measures of success are directly linked to finance.

Asta19 · 17/04/2019 18:07

I do think there are probably people on here who lie about being high earners. Obviously not all, but very few people earn over 100k and it's a little hard to believe they are all MN users!

I grew up in real poverty so when I got my first decent paying job, which was 35k, I felt rich! Before that I'd always been on minimum wage. I went up as high as 50k at one point but honestly, the stress and working hours were too much and I've gone back down to 35 again, but for a much less stressful role with a good work/life balance.

The more you earn the more you get "trapped" in that wage. People take on bigger mortgages, send their kids to private school, attain a certain lifestyle, but then you have to continue in your job to maintain it all. That's a lot of pressure. I have a friend in that scenario and his level of financial commitments terrify me!

The other thing is, the higher the wage the bigger the deductions. I used to weep a bit inside when I saw my payslips and on £3000 a month, I lost nearly £1000 of that for various deductions! So people on 100k are on a higher tax rate and lose even more.

YouJustDoYou · 17/04/2019 18:08

Everyone on here seems to be a high earner.

VanGoghsDog · 17/04/2019 18:09

@Foxmuffin

I seem to recall a lot of her income was child maintenance, which means she has kids and no day to day support from the other parent. Sounds pretty stressful, rather her than me!

I don't have kids and did train for my job, some of that at my own cost, which I would say was fairly stressful and currently quite high paying but also 100% futile. So......swings and roundabouts!

VanGoghsDog · 17/04/2019 18:11

very few people earn over 100k

Not sure what you mean by very few, but I know very many people who earn over £100k. I doubt any use Mumsnet though, they are too busy.

sar302 · 17/04/2019 18:12

I don't feel inferior or in awe, mostly irritated with my own life choices! I have a degree, post grad cert and a masters - I'm bright, I could have done most things I suppose - but I chose to make a career working with vulnerable young people, which I enjoy, but is averagely paid - about 35k in my early 30s.

My husband has just 3 A levels, but has some pretty great IT skills, and in his late 20s has hit nearly 150k. He is no brighter than me and much less academically qualified, but his skills attract money, and mine don't. I often wish I'd trained in something that attracted more money, but I just didn't think it through at the time. Now I have a baby and don't work at all. When I go back, it's likely to need to be part time and flexible - even less likely to attract the cash...

escapade1234 · 17/04/2019 18:14

I guess some people do earn money for old rope. But I believe most high earning jobs require hours, commitment and sacrifice that few who work 9-5 can really comprehend.

HeyNannyNanny · 17/04/2019 18:15

I'm sure some people lie about their income but others do not, I thought anything above £50k was an astoundingly high and rare salary until I starting being around a different crowd and realised it isn't, and there are tens of thousands, hundred of thousands even, of people in the UK earning six figures plus.

Don't feel inferior - if it's something you want, find it motivating - clearly it can be achieved.
If it's something you don't want, then don't think twice about it - not your circus, not your monkeys.
Don't be in awe, but don't scorn either. There's a fair few people on MN that seem to think that if you're a high earner your lying or stressed or a dick or all three.