To feel inferior to and in awe of all these high earners?

[malificent7]

My career has been a bit of a mess due to mh issues. I did well at school and uni but fell into teaching which im shite at and now an retraining to be a healthcare professional which i love.

I will not be a high earner and neither is dp and im happy but would be lovely to not struggle.

Aibu to think not everyone is cut out to be a high earner..we also need teachers amd nurses etc and it would be unwise to make the grade boundaries for these professions lower.
What i need is a lucrative side hustle.

It's interesting that some people see things like paying their kids uni costs, giving them house deposits etc as highly desirable or even a necessity.

I know two women who had all these things paid for by their parents, along with the private school, privileged upbringing etc. Honestly, they are both a bit "spoiled brat" types. They have no real understanding that other people haven't had their privileges, so they are quite judgmental. They're not actually any happier than poorer people I know. They may not have money worries but they get ridiculously irate or upset over things I would see as minor. So I'm not convinced that I would have wanted to give my children all those things. I think people who've had everything handed to them on a plate live in a bit of a "bubble" and I don't necessarily see that as a good thing.

File them among the people with 3 Oxbridge degrees, 'city workers', people who constantly encounter trans people every day, the gifted children, the swingers and the authors. i.e 90% bullshitters

My husband and I recently snuck into the joint salary of 100k bracket.

I'm rubbish at it, and boring with it!

We overpay the mortgage, save, and put money in our pensions. My "new" car was 8 years old, and I remember to go get a haircut about once a year.

I actually wince at the things people on much lower incomes spend on hair, clothes and beauty - probably something that need fixing in me rather than them! (The financial attitude, not the make up)

My husband and I recently snuck into the joint salary of 100k bracket.

I'm rubbish at it, and boring with it!

We overpay the mortgage, save, and put money in our pensions. My "new" car was 8 years old, and I remember to go get a haircut about once a year.

I actually wince at the things people on much lower incomes spend on hair, clothes and beauty - probably something that need fixing in me rather than them! (The financial attitude, not the make up

THIS 100% this. And the comment further up about having 50k holidays yet feeling tired/stressed - how much sooner you could retire if you didn’t spend 50k on holidays? I am well travelled and do see holidays as a worthwhile luxury (the experiences are what I remember, not the cost). My children will spend all day on a beach (in the UK) and be blissfully happy. There is a balance i’m sure.

I don’t know what it’s like to struggle to make ends meet. We could buy whatever wanted (which is a comforting thought). But we don’t, we would rather live a more modest life and know we will be able to work less sooner. We also don’t want to feel like retirement is a real step down in living standards.

I also don’t want my children to be spoilt brats and expect everything handed on a plate. I could give them everything but my time is far more important (I took a massive salary cut to be a SAHP).

OP enjoy what you have. I think it’s fine to aspire for more. But money really doesn’t mean happiness. I think it can easily become a trap for wanting more and more.

But could you give them everything on that income? Independent education, uni fees paid, houses in trust, etc? I appreciate you have a very good life but I'm not sure that's what this thread is about.

I seriously doubt that even half of what you read on here is the truth.

The late Sir Terry Wogan often quoted the line

"Believe Nothing You Hear & Only Half Of What You See"

I think there's a lot of truth in that, It's the same with facebook selfies, everything's photoshopped and posed - It's all bollocks and done just to try to make others envious. However it speaks volumes of their own insecurities, that they need to create a veil of pretence and act coy towards others....pretty pathetic don't you think?

Live your life and enjoy it. Because the one thing no one can buy is time....and time spent chasing a dream, is time wasted.

The weather is forecast to be wonderful this weekend, if you're lucky enough to be off. Get out and enjoy it - That costs nothing.

@thecatsthecats

Us too. We had a slightly higher income but we save, invest, shop in primark and Aldi. My car is nice (and not on finance) but a fairly bog standard non luxury car. I can’t get over how many people have total luxuries on finance, expensive sofas,
Cars etc we don’t own those items we could afford to buy outright.

Why do we need ‘to give our children everything’ houses/trust funds/uni fees - make them work for some of it! Your not teaching them anything by handing it on a plate. Unless you want to raise obnoxious adults who despite having everything from their parents, don’t have a clue about the real world.

Our children will hopefully have significant savings (because we don’t push ourselves to keep up with the Jones). As I said we live very comfortably, but as we earn more we don’t aspire to spend more. Having said that we have excellent state schools and do have the comfort of knowing private education is possible (if needed). Our children won’t know about these savings however!

You said you could give your children everything; I was merely pointing out that on £100k you maybe can't notwithstanding the definition of everything.

If it's possible to pay one's children's uni fees and save them circa £100k of tax why on earth wouldn't you if you had the money freely available?

Our ds had an independent education, his uni fees paid and has a house in trust (managing our tax affairs for the family). He is doing a Masters and working 2 days a week and has a job on £45k lined up in September. I see no signs of entitlement.

We don't do designer, £200 is enough for a handbag and my car is 9 years old. Holidays are relaxed and low key. We can have everything we want that our income allows. It doesn't extend to jets, yachts or live in staff.

but you might be surprised at what “the woman next door who works in an office in town” actually earns

I agree

You can’t teach humbleness and integrity

I would say there are a lot of people comfortable with their earnings and just don’t make it a thing.

As a PP said, there are so many things in your life aside from earnings that should define you.

Never intended to give my DC everything but I don't want them to struggle so do save for their future.

Oldest didn't want to go to uni but had a specific, niche job planned, being able to give them the 15k to pay for the training for it at 18 just meant they could get on with it sooner rather than trying to save from a lesser job. They now earn very good money and will be able to pay for a house deposit when they leave home in a couple of years.

Youngest does want to go to uni and needs to for their career choice. They will have to take a student loan but they will be given a similar amount towards a house deposit when they graduate.

Just because I want to help them, and am lucky enough to be able to afford to help them, doesn't mean they are spoilt or can't work hard.

I was only thinking earlier how everyone on here appears to be loaded. 6 figure salaries, massive houses, luxury holidays every year, inheritances (and wondering what to do with them ), treating as pocket change the kind of money that would pay off my mortgage etc. Where are the people on under £20k, a very typical income for a lot of people in my area? People who save up to have a weekend in a caravan through the local paper? Have kids clothing swaps with friends rather than go to boden/frugi/next and spend £800 or something?

With three or four friends we did children's clothing swaps, bicycle, scooter swaps, even maternity clothes swaps. What really shocked me was when I phoned ss and asked if they knew a family who might welcome a cot, highchair, changing table. The response "our clients are only provided with new things" . A Director of Warburgs was very grateful. I was appalled to be honest - my friends were happy with second hand. The deprived can only have brand new - paid for by our taxes. Really honed my views about entitlement tbh.

Thing is it's probably ss policy rather than clients refusing second hand stuff. I know a lot of people are snooty about it but most people in need will happily accept.

It's probably policy, and it might end up cheaper than having staff sort through things,get rid of rubbish ones,disinfect them etc. Yours might've been in great condition but there are plenty of people that use charity shops,children's centres,schools etc as a dumping ground.
Not to mention it's a slippery slope if it becomes common practice after all they're "deprived" and getting it for free so what if this mattress is stained,or that bedding might have fleas? Be grateful!!

Regardless, the "deprived" deserve nice or new things too, it's not a race to the bottom.

If you really begrudge a baby in unfortunate circumstances a new cot, then ...

I don't think that's what I was saying at all. I'd have liked a baby to have had our pristine cosatto cot, wooden high chair and changing table. It also supports sustainability for our planet but oh no, the deprived have to have brand new. We only had brand new because our dc were the oldest in family and friends were still using theirs.

Can you stop calling them the deprived? It's dehumanising , offensive and othering.

I'm amazed at how much money people piss away in London/the south! I'm in the North and they would live like royalty up here with some of the salaries mentioned!

I'm happy with my humble life though. Yes, it would be nice to not have to worry about money. But whatever... Me and my family are happy and healthy. That's all I care about!

My DH's job doesn't exist outside London and neither did my first career.

£200 is enough for a handbag

PMSL!

I think it would cost more in sourcing, admin, risk assessments and so on for 'the deprived' to have secondhand stuff given by social services.
You could always advertise stuff on freecycle if you'd like someone to benefit from it.

Why, are you an Hermes fiend vangogh'sdog? . Will you not slum as low as Radley, smaller Coach, etc?

£200 is enough for a handbag!!?

That's obscene. I paid £15 for mine!

Some people are on another planet.

Yeah, the most I've paid for a handbag is £60 and I thought that was extravagant.

Usually more like £20-£40.