To feel inferior to and in awe of all these high earners?

[malificent7]

My career has been a bit of a mess due to mh issues. I did well at school and uni but fell into teaching which im shite at and now an retraining to be a healthcare professional which i love.

I will not be a high earner and neither is dp and im happy but would be lovely to not struggle.

Aibu to think not everyone is cut out to be a high earner..we also need teachers amd nurses etc and it would be unwise to make the grade boundaries for these professions lower.
What i need is a lucrative side hustle.

My ex earned over £100k and had quite an extravagant lifestyle. His mortgage was around 2k a month though. He was very unhappy and being bullied at this job but couldn’t afford to leave until he found something else.

Whereas DH and I don’t earn 100k between us but with a small mortgage, I could quit my job today and not work.

The people earning 100k are often working 60-80 hour weeks and working in the evenings at home and the weekend. The hourly rate for that wouldn’t be great!

Nobody at all on their death bed said 'oh how I wish I'd worked more and earned more money.' They might wish they had spent more time with their children/ family though.
I left Surrey years ago and when I go back there it is full of all this desperate to earn more money business. I find people are much happier where I am now.

Our society places far too much importance on careers and earning potential. There is more to life! Back in the 1950s, they thought that in the future we would be working a 2 day week (what with most things becoming automated) and we would have to try and figure out what to do with our leisure time! The reason we aren’t is - consumerism! All the shit we feel we have to buy.
If you want to feel better about not earning much can I recommend reading ‘The Art of Frugal Hedonism’ - hugely changed my perspective on my need to buy stuff and how much money people earn.

I wish I earned more, I actually have a good, professional job that is very hard work, time consuming and very stressful but due to life/kids etc I’ve never reaped the salary I’d hoped for though. Maybe one day.

I also don’t like the way these posts go of assuming high earners must be busier/stressful than others. I don’t doubt in some cases that’s true but not all. Some people seem to earn loads for doing very little really and some people on a pittance absolutely work themselves into the ground working very long hours

I think it's important to remember that where you're living makes a huge difference so for example an average earner living in Stanley or Ashington would probably be able to afford a better quality of life and nicer home than someone on £70k in London.

Also (and I say this as a low earner) there are so many different aspects to life:
Career
Social life/friendships
Relationship or marriage
Family
Children
Lifestyle
Hobbies
House
Appearance
Very few people are 100% happy in all areas but it's so easy to focus on the one thing you're lacking. I did this for many years until I realised that I don't know a soul who has the whole package so to speak. So while I greatly admire those women who have taken risks in their career and gone on to earn six figures (and I'd certainly encourage my kids to factor in income when choosing a future career) I don't feel inferior because for every low earner worrying they're not career focused enough, there's someone is a stressful job working long hours worried they won't get across to visit their mam for the third week in a row.

It takes all sort of people to make a society work and no one is better or worse imo we're all just doing the best with the choices we made.

(Also lots of people lie online)

I don't feel inferior at all. I do feel envious.

I wish I earned more. But even on this thread people have said they are average at 35k - when 35k is a lot more than average. Also, teachers, nurses, etc - the people I know who do these jobs are among the highest earners of those I know. A teacher friend is on about 48k, for example. I have top grades throughout school and a first from the best university for my subject and a PhD and I don’t earn anything like that. Most people I work with are similar. I’m in my 50s and want to retrain now.

I don't class in the MN definition of high earner but I don't live anywhere near London either so DH and I earning 70K a year between us goes a long way.

We run our own business which is 7 days a week but we have the flexibility to come and go between us so school runs were never an issue and taking DC places was always doable.

After school they could just come back to work with us and do their homework until we finished.

There is no need to feel inferior over it. You may feel jealously, but that works from both ways.

We are on good money (mostly mine as I earn a bit over £50k and DH is on a fraction of that). To my family, we are high earners. With the ILs, we are the poor relation. SIL earns on her own about 50% more than we earn between us.

The problem is, with the wages comes expectations. Unless you are very lucky in your career, the work life balance isn't there. I work evenings and weekends, SIL works even more than me.

I do envy my Dsis who is a nurse - she is on less money (albeit pretty good money) and, whilst she cares about her patients, once she leaves work she is done and can focus on her family and home life. My work is always carried with me and there is not the same switch off. I may have the wages to pay for a good life, but she actually gets to live one.

Most of Mn earns £150k, according to most threads!!

I don't. I do Accounts part time. Dh is a site manager.

Everything about us is distinctly average.

‘The more you earn the more you get "trapped" in that wage. People take on bigger mortgages, send their kids to private school, attain a certain lifestyle, but then you have to continue in your job to maintain it all’

I don’t think this is a ‘higher earner’ thing. I think most people do this. I suspect many people would be shocked at our income. We live in a nice house which I love, but we could have bought something much ‘better’. We don’t buy new cars, flashy holidays etc etc. Probably always look a bit scruffy! BUT we are very very comfortable and are focusing on an early retirement/working very reduced hours in our 40s. I know lots of people who probably appear far wealthier but have no savings/massive mortgages/cars on credit etc.

Depends what you want out of life, I guess. I'm inherently lazy, I think.

I once did a job where I worked and worked, slept and then started work again, and I hated it.

Many posters here have said they: work 60-80 hours, husband away mon-thurs, and never see their kids.

Hmmm. I want the £150k. But I don't want any of those other bits!

No high earning for me I guess!

I don't feel inferior, and I don't think anyone should, or should be made to. And people on here do. They absolutely do.
There's an attitude that you don't work hard and what you do is easy if you earn a low wage and that's just not true of everyone. And the 'get a better job' brigade seem to conveniently forget that the lower paid jobs in society are the foundation of that society, and without a lot of those jobs we'd be up shit street. There's also a belief that people shouldn't be paid more for these jobs anyway.
If someone is a high earner then all the good to them, they may or may not have worked hard and made sacrifices, the same as someone in a lower paid role. I don't feel inferior to them, we're all going to end up in the same size box.

I'm a v higher earner.

I left my office after 11pm the last two nights and 2am the night before that. I'm taking today as holiday but was too tired to get up and take my kids to camp this morning so the nanny took them. I'm up now but have a couple of hours work I need to get done plus I'll be taking calls and answering emails all day. This is an entirely typical week for me.

Yes, the big house, sports cars and holidays are nice to have but I have no real quality of life and I'm always tired and stressed.

I reckon I have another 5 years left in me and plan to retire at 50 if finances will allow. We will have to significantly modify our standard of living (no more £50k holidays) but it will be so worth it after 30 years of grind.

no more £50k holidays

I can’t imagine what a £50k holiday would look like!

My friend very recently got promoted to Director level. In order to get there, she has worked late (and by late I mean getting home past midnight almost every night - especially at the end of the month) for over 3 years. She's had to study for qualifications during evenings and weekends. Her partner nearly left her because he never saw her. She missed weddings, babies, birthdays (including her own) and could barely make the time for a friend of ours who's DP passed away unexpectedly.

It's not all it's cracked up to be. I'd much rather have my job!

I earn 30k-ish
The male of the house around £53k-ish

Low earners compared to some people on here. However we're in NI - where a five bedroom house will cost £250k and the average wage is about £24k

We aren't rich, we will be working until we're 67 🤷🏽‍♀️ three DC who we'll be able to support through university and with house deposits

Would earning £1m a year make my life easier? Yes. I wouldn't change a thing though - my work/life balance is excellent. I work 8-4 and I'm home by half 4..schools are a few minutes away

Ya'll should move to NI 🙈

I don't feel in awe of them. I'm not chasing the bitch goddess of financial success. I don't need the validation of a big salary. I have security. I'd love more luxury in my house but when I moved in to my shabby terrace three years ago I was SO HAPPY, and it was the security and the safety that gave me that bliss so I know that for me it's important not to risk my happiness by taking big risks and chasing more cash. The job I have now, it's secure and I'd have the option to reduce my work share pattern if I wanted so that leaves me feeling relieved. A better feeling than just more money to be honest. I want freedom and time.

www.propertypal.com/3-berry-drive-newtownabbey/560398

For example

Twenty minutes from Belfast. Excellent schools and facilities close by, including leisure centres, gyms, golf courses, restaurants - oh and a train station

I suspect there probably aren't just loads of high earners on here, it's just that high earners may be more likely to comment on 'what do you earn' type threads.

Income has little to do with your value as a person. A lot of people in socially bankrupt positions earn LOADS. While people who do meaningful work are often underpaid. (Think of people who work as carers, what a massive and important influence they have on people's quality of life, and how little they get paid in comparison to, say, bankers).

You're not unreasonable to be in awe cos society is set up to make you feel that way. But the above is really just a reflection of the capitalist society we live in, where profit is valued above human life.

What I'm saying, more money doesn't mean better people, harder workers or a more valuable contribution.

Also to the person who was talking about benefits, haven't you heard of the benefit caps? People on benefits are being squeezed really hard and the welfare state is leaving a lot of people in poverty at the moment.

@oblomov19 it's not laziness!! It's balance, and having enugh space in your schedule to figure out that you get ONE life. No matter how much an employer pays you to handover your time to them, you still at the day of reckoning got ONE life.

I've a great friend, love her to bits, she's great company, but when she isnt working she's kind of anxious to get back to work!

It is not laziness, I am longing for the day my DH retires, I am going to send him off to play golf everyday for six months, then I am going to go down to eighteen hours a week and we are going to do all the things we haven't been able to do for the last few years.

Nobody at all on their death bed said 'oh how I wish I'd worked more and earned more money.'

I don't think this is actually true. I imagine many people would look back and wish they'd been able to bring more money in to provide more for themselves or their children.

On my deathbed I certainly won’t be wishing I spent more time at work. A job is just a job.

And it’s the Internet. People don’t tell the truth!

@heynannynanny more likely though, they wish that that could be achieved working 40 hours not 60
Nobody wishes that they provided more 'stuff' or more luxury.
If they couldnt give their family the basics working an average week they more likely wished that they had been paid more; that their time was valued more.