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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel inferior to and in awe of all these high earners?

125 replies

malificent7 · 17/04/2019 17:33

My career has been a bit of a mess due to mh issues. I did well at school and uni but fell into teaching which im shite at and now an retraining to be a healthcare professional which i love.

I will not be a high earner and neither is dp and im happy but would be lovely to not struggle.

Aibu to think not everyone is cut out to be a high earner..we also need teachers amd nurses etc and it would be unwise to make the grade boundaries for these professions lower.
What i need is a lucrative side hustle.

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 17/04/2019 18:18

It annoys me that there’s the view that jobs are either

Paid brilliantly-over £100k but bloody stressful and long hours OR crap money but low stress and allow you to be worth your family.

There’s plenty of us that work in stressful jobs with long hours that will never earn anything like that!

Echobelly · 17/04/2019 18:18

I'm not cut out to earn big bucks either, but I still do something that takes a lot of academic skill to do - everyone's different, there are plenty of people who earn more than me and probably aren't as bright but have the right mindset and skillset to do things that earn a lot more. So be it!

HeyNannyNanny · 17/04/2019 18:23

There’s plenty of us that work in stressful jobs with long hours that will never earn anything like that!

Similarly I know a lot of people who earn high in jobs with moderate hours and reasonable stress.

Stress doesn't equal money, or vice versa.
Money doesn't equal happiness.
But there can be links.

Coffeebean76 · 17/04/2019 18:27

The more you earn the more you get "trapped" in that wage. People take on bigger mortgages, send their kids to private school, attain a certain lifestyle, but then you have to continue in your job to maintain it all.

This is very true!

Foxmuffin · 17/04/2019 18:27

@VanGoghsDog
£600 was maintenance and maintenance does not mean no day to day help.
That’s still £2200 which is around £40k as an equivalent salary. So still good going. I’m
not disputing she probably had other stessors in her life, but that’s life. Your take home pay and the stressors of your personal life and mutually exclusive.

gingajewel · 17/04/2019 18:28

I think some of these threads that mention money need to be taken with a pinch of salt!
My oh works in a factory, I have a masters but work part time and am lowly paid for what I do, however I can’t get another job at the moment due to childcare issues and every month I slide further and further into debt, 40k between us would be amazing but we earn no where near that! I personally don’t no many people on a massive wage, but hopefully in the distant future when the children are older I can focus on my work a bit more, I don’t care what anyone says it is hard to have it all without sacrificing some parts of your life!

BackforGood · 17/04/2019 18:29

YABVU to feel inferior.

I can understand some envy or jealousy, or just the occasional pang of "I wish I just had the money to........" I expect most of us get that at times - potentially even the really big earners who are peeking into the world of the mega earners, etc.

There is an awful inequality of earning in this country (probably a global thing). It is shocking what some jobs get paid compared to others, and certainly isn't dictated by 'worthiness' or importance of the role. I wish I could think of a way of doing something about it.

April241 · 17/04/2019 18:31

I'm a top band 5 nurse, bring in about £1950-£2100 a month which I thought was pretty good until I started using MN Grin

Ninkaninus · 17/04/2019 18:31

I might feel in awe of, or perhaps more accurately envious, of some high earners, depending on their circumstances and how they make or made their money, but I also feel in awe of or envious of anyone who is better than me at something, or more creative, more gifted, more successful, or knows more than me.

However I don’t feel inferior to anyone. I consider myself equal to and of equal worth, no matter what their perceived higher status or social standing.

Inadvertentlybrilliant · 17/04/2019 18:33

I'm another who doesn't regard teachers and health professionals as low earners. There are plenty of other areas to work in with far lower salaries. e.g. most people in retail sales.

Holidayshopping · 17/04/2019 18:35

I'm another who doesn't regard teachers and health professionals as low earners. There are plenty of other areas to work in with far lower salaries. e.g. most people in retail sales.

Though you need a 3/4 year degree training program to do teaching/nursing which you don’t for many jobs in retail sales.

DippyAvocado · 17/04/2019 18:35

I understand how you feel. I did well in education, First from a good uni etc but I went into teaching because I wanted to do something useful. Married another teacher. Now my/DH's uni friends are mostly in law, IT, own their own businesses etc the difference in our incomes is noticeable and it's getting harder and harder to make plans together as we can't afford most of the stuff they want to do.

I wouldn't say they work many fewer hours than us either, although of course we get more holiday and those with their own businesses had stressful times in the early days.

DippyAvocado · 17/04/2019 18:36

many longer hours that should say

Jebuschristchocolatebar · 17/04/2019 18:40

Money can buy you a lot and fix a lot of things but it comes with different sets of challenges.

JustHereForThePooStories · 17/04/2019 18:52

Both DH and I earn over £100k each (converted to sterling, we’re not in the UK).

He has a job where people expect him to be on a high salary.

I don’t. My title is very, very niche and, if asked what I do, I give a generic response (eg “I work in HR”). Nobody knows the salary I’m on- my friends and family know I’m senior in my company, but don’t know the salary level. A lot assume that DH is the big earner, and I work for a lot less than him. I don’t discuss our finances in real life, with anyone other than DH. Nobody knows what we have in terms of savings, pensions, investments either.

They know we live in an expensive area (small house but the location really pushes it up), and have a nice car, but I think they just see that as due to DH’s income.

I guess what I’m saying is that there are plenty of people out there with higher salaries than we realise, because we have an expectation of what titles command big salaries (surgeon/dentist/lawyer etc), but you might be surprised at what “the woman next door who works in an office in town” actually earns.

Ithinkmycatisevil · 17/04/2019 18:59

Our combined income is about 55k, which is more than i ever dreamed it would be when I was a young mum struggling to make ends meet. I'm not well off by any means, but can do things, like take the kids abroad, that seemed totally impossible 6 or 7 years ago.

By mumsnet standards however we seem to be paupers. I don't care. I have no wish to work all hours god sends in a super stressful job. I've watched my girls grow and that's what matters.

JacquesHammer · 17/04/2019 19:03

Stress doesn't equal money, or vice versa.
Money doesn't equal happiness.
But there can be links

Definitely this.

ScrewyMcScrewup · 17/04/2019 19:05

Remember that anybody on here (and elsewhere on the net) can say what they wish was true, rather than what is true. Most people in this country are similar to you or worse off.

ilovesooty · 17/04/2019 19:07

You can't look in isolation at what people earn or make assumptions about their worth as people. In any case some people who earn high salaries aren't necessarily intelligent, empathic or even decent people.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 17/04/2019 19:09

I know 2 high earners in real life, and never see them due to work loads...

Yabbers · 17/04/2019 19:22

What’s this obsession with high earners all of a sudden? This place is crawling with threads about them this week?

Madbengalmum · 17/04/2019 19:26

Why the hell would complete strangers lie about being high earners. The world is a big place and there are many people in it who earn alot, why are people so obsessed by that?

crispysausagerolls · 17/04/2019 19:27

Everyone on here seems to be a high earner.

I have personally found MN very shocking because of the opposite. It’s been humbling for me to see how people actually struggle, and made me much more aware of how many people there are who are not as well off as I thought. I think I Have lived a very sheltered life and MN has taught me that.

Also, I never doubt when I see someone is a high earner or married to a high earner, because I am married to one and have a lot of time on my hands to be on here! And I like the community (even if people don’t trust me!)

Meandwinealone · 17/04/2019 19:31

I know a lot of high earners. And tbh I wouldn’t want their life.
I want their money, but I don’t want their husbands who cheat. Their dependence on alcohol. They’re shit relationships.

But perhaps that’s just the people I know!

Dothehappydance · 17/04/2019 19:39

I don't feel inferior, we have everything we need and many things we want.

I do however feel very annoyed at the idea that low pay = not working very hard, it is never explicitly said but if a high wage is mentioned it is more often than not followed by 'I/he/she works hard for the money'

It is also very annoying when, learning someone claims TC's the advice is always 'get a job that pays more' I think some people have no idea of the real world, and the pay scales that are set by the government. In my job area, the advice is 'move into management' well I'd be a shit manager and there would be posts on MN about me, but earning more is the be all and end all.