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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a welcome package for neighbour moving in tomorrow?

331 replies

Imfinallyhappy1 · 17/04/2019 17:32

We have a new neighbour moving in tomorrow, I’ve never met them but I used to live in the house until it was sold about 8 months ago.

I moved next door as it came up for rent when our landlord gave us notice.

I have a small hamper basket and was going to write the bin collection times, useful info like posties name, some tea, coffee, biscuits etc. Just some bits for moving in day.

Is there anything else that would be good? Or helpful?

OP posts:
Snog · 18/04/2019 07:21

Lovely idea although I don't think anyone would move without tea and coffee so I would leave those items out of the package- just homemade cookies would be fab!

ItsHardToExplain · 18/04/2019 07:27

I would love someone to do this for me on moving day. It’s a lovely idea.
All my neighbours did was come over and whinge that I had parked too near them. I was 9 months pregnant, I had a toddler, it was possibly the hottest day on earth since the beginning of time and everything had gone wrong that day!

TapasForTwo · 18/04/2019 07:43

Yes, this thread is staggering Ivegotthree. Full of so many curmudgeonly, "don't you ever dare talk to me", miserable, unsociable people who think a friendly gesture is creepy and stalking.

What is the world coming to?

Lockheart · 18/04/2019 07:43

I think it's a lovely idea. Agree toilet roll is pushing it though. Just a quick "Hi, I'm X from next door, thought you mind find a few bits handy, if you fancy a coffee when you're settled in let me know."

It's not intrusive, it's just friendly.

Whodafeck · 18/04/2019 07:45

Moving day is so so stressful. The last thing I’d want is some random arriving to the door with a basket of stuff that I’d have to thank them for.

FraggleRocking · 18/04/2019 07:56

I don’t think anyone is trying to put the OP off being friendly or welcoming. I think people are trying to be genuinely helpful in understanding boundaries.
One item and a card - ok. A hamper and odd info - too much.

Whodafeck · 18/04/2019 07:58

Fraggle, exactly.

I’d have no issue with a card and a bottle of plonk a day or two after I moved in.

But a hamper, with all kinds of weird info (why the hell does anyone need to know the name of the postie) and stuff that infers I haven’t the wit to pack a box of essentials, as well as all kinds of creepy info gained from the agent, that’s a step too far for me.

81Byerley · 18/04/2019 08:09

Until the day he died, my dad remembered the day he and my Mum moved in, when a neighbour came to the door with a piece of paper with his name address and phone number on, and said "Welcome, Friend. This is where I live, for if there's anything you need. I won't be always popping in or being nosy, but there's a cup of tea for you if ever you just want to knock my door." About ten minutes later an elderly lady came round with a posy of flowers from her garden, already in water in a jam jar, and a home made cake. She said "Welcome to our village. I made this for you. I thought it would tide you over until you can get a proper meal. Now have you got your kettle handy, or shall I bring you a pot of tea?" Those two people helped my parents settle in their new home just by being so friendly. They were never intrusive, but were always helpful and friendly.

Your welcome basket is a lovely idea. I always put a card through the door, with our names and house number on, just so new neighbours will know we're friendly, if they do need anything.

AgathaF · 18/04/2019 08:10

It might just be a little thing to you OP, but to lots of people, me included, it would be cringy and overbearing, and a little insulting that you are supposing that I can't manage to pack coffee, wine, biscuits etc where I can easily find them.

huntinghighandlow · 18/04/2019 08:12

It's moving in day - do keep us posted how the hamper went down 😀

Ivegotthree · 18/04/2019 08:17

😂 @cherryplum

TapasForTwo · 18/04/2019 08:23

Wow. You are so easily offended Agatha Hmm

NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 18/04/2019 08:29

Creepy AF

LumpyPillow · 18/04/2019 08:31

I agree. Hellbent on a hamper rather than true altruistic intent, since a clear split has really clearly illustrated that toning it down would be best if you were truly invested in being thoughtful to all.

I bet alarm clocks gone off and OP has shouted Arnie style, GET TO THE HAMPAAAAAAA

Whodafeck · 18/04/2019 08:32

The op asked was she BU, but she wasn’t really asking because she’s determined to do it anyway.

That on its own is scary.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 18/04/2019 08:33

Why do you need to know the postman/ woman's name?????

Does anyone else know their postman/woman's name???

HmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmm

Original poster
Imfinallyhappy1 · 18/04/2019 08:33

I had already brought some bits so I was looking for suggestions and what was too much. I’ve been given a nice wide variation of opinions so.......

I don’t think I’ll ever tell you why I thought the posties name is relevant. It can be a mumsnet mystery.

I will be sure to update.

I’ve just moved my car off the drive so their moving van has plenty of room, does that also make me a creepy, stalker freak who wants to be their bestie? Lol

OP posts:
Whodafeck · 18/04/2019 08:35

But why are you quizzing the agent about when they’re moving in?

If they need you to shift your car, they can ask you. (Eg if it’s a shared access drive)

Whodafeck · 18/04/2019 08:36

And there is NO WAY as a single woman who lives with almost adult kids, that I’d be giving some random stranger I know fuck all about, my telephone number.

Sockworkshop · 18/04/2019 08:42

A bottle of wine and a quick hello etc is fine.
Making a hamper and going on about so much is very OTT .

Whodafeck · 18/04/2019 08:43

Are you usually this over-invested and needy op? It all seems really suffocating to me.

CishAndFips · 18/04/2019 08:49

That sounds like a lovely idea to me. I hope your hamper is happily received.

Mummaofmytribe · 18/04/2019 08:53

My postman's name is Ron. He told me when I moved in! My neighbours came the day after we moved with a leg of lamb bone for the dog. THAT was thoughtful: kept him out of the way for hours :)

Frangipane · 18/04/2019 08:53

I'm a bit late to this thread but 25 years ago as newly weds, dh and I moved into a house and our elderly neighbour came round with a tray with a sort of ploughmans lunch type meal for 2 arranged on it, complete with linen napkins, so we wouldn't have to cook that night. Trouble was, we had 3 adults and 3 teens (friends) helping us move in for whom we also had to cater. When that became apparent, the elderly neighbour became a bit flustered and I had to stop her from returning to her house to prepare another 6 portions! Either way, her bread roll and Apple was hardly going to sustain us as we were on our feet all day. We ended up getting in fish and chips. I still remember her kindness though, and when I returned her linen napkins and tray, I pretended that her offering had seen us through the day. She was only trying to be kind, and it would have been rude of me on my side to have poured cold water on that.

I think a small offering is more than sufficient OP. A pint of milk and some biscuits will surely not go to waste. Anything more is a bit OTT.

CherryPlum · 18/04/2019 08:56

I bet the OP is on tenterhooks waiting for her new friend to arrive. The poor unsuspecting neighbour!

No doubt the OPs update will tell us how pleased the new neighbour is with the welcome pack and that everything went well. Meanwhile the neighbour will be left with a load of stuff to dispose of, and feeling like 'oh crap, I've got nutty neighbours'.

And yes, I am on friendly terms with lots of my neighbours, and yes I gave a card and small bunch of tulips when they moved in. They might've liked that or not, but what I didn't do was pounce on them as soon as they arrived with a hamper overflowing with 'goodies' and advice on how to do simple/basic/obvious stuff 😂