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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a welcome package for neighbour moving in tomorrow?

331 replies

Imfinallyhappy1 · 17/04/2019 17:32

We have a new neighbour moving in tomorrow, I’ve never met them but I used to live in the house until it was sold about 8 months ago.

I moved next door as it came up for rent when our landlord gave us notice.

I have a small hamper basket and was going to write the bin collection times, useful info like posties name, some tea, coffee, biscuits etc. Just some bits for moving in day.

Is there anything else that would be good? Or helpful?

OP posts:
Dieu · 17/04/2019 23:24

You're lovely, OP. This would make me feel all warm inside. Such a thoughtful idea Smile

ILoveMaxiBondi · 17/04/2019 23:25

Well it’s just so exciting! Maybe there are no hobby classes in OPs village.

foodiefil · 17/04/2019 23:28

Very thoughtful - hope they appreciate it. Good local takeaways?! ☺️

BadLad · 17/04/2019 23:29

It’s funny because I am a teetotal, non-coffee drinking, non-Tetley drinking vegetarian. I was actually looking at what the OP posted thinking I would hate all of that.

You could just leave it in the box and wait for someone else to move into the neighbourhood, then give it to them.

I would find this way OTT. If I had new neighbours, I'd probably go and see hi, and tell them to pop round if they found they had forgotten any essentials.

OwnerOfThatChocolateBar · 17/04/2019 23:42

That would make me avoid you at all cost thinking your probably one of those nosey, overfriendly neighbours that's forever popping her head over my fence to ask a favour

stopitandtidyupp · 17/04/2019 23:48

I can't get passed the posties name.

I literally have no clue of mine lived there on and off for 38 years.

Coveredincathair · 18/04/2019 00:08

I think you’re a lovely neighbour OP, my neighbour throws bags of cat shit & earth into mine!

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 18/04/2019 01:02

The fact that OP is going ahead makes me feel it's all about how she feels and not about the neighbour.

Agreed. OP wants to feel good about herself and feel as though she’s done a good deed, with little to no thought about whether the other person might actually want it or not, and judging by the many posts here, a lot really wouldn’t. It’s just invasive.

She’ll do it and feel good about herself, but she really shouldn’t as her actions are very selfish and self-centered.

whywhywhy6 · 18/04/2019 01:04

Sounds like you’re going to go ahead and do it all anyway so not sure why you bothered to ask, to be honest.

I’d be creeped out, as it seems like a lot of effort and you know far too much about them via the agent.

But no point in giving opinions when you’ve made up your mind!

Whodafeck · 18/04/2019 01:49

I would find that really invasive.

Why do they need to know the posties name?

lboogy · 18/04/2019 01:52

why not just a card through their letter box? Not everyone wants to be friends with their neighbours

Whodafeck · 18/04/2019 01:53

I’d also be really concerned about how much info you knew about me and be having words with the agent. I’d find it creepy.

FentonForChristsakeFenton · 18/04/2019 02:04

Our neighbours dropped a card and plant round when we moved in, I thought it was a lovely gesture - no-one has ever done that when we moved in somewhere before and we really appreciated it.

ncagain222 · 18/04/2019 06:20

Loving this thread! I’m hoping we get an update from the OP on her new neighbours and their reaction to the hamper! Grin

TapasForTwo · 18/04/2019 06:42

The usual anti social mumsnet miseries are out in force. Hating a friendly gesture says more about them than you OP. I think it is a lovely thing to do.

When our neighbours moved in I introduced myself and made them a cup of tea. They were completely new to the area and knew no-one. Once they had settled in they invited all the neighbours around for afternoon tea to break the ice. It was brilliant. They are sociable but not overbearing.

Ivegotthree · 18/04/2019 06:44

It's a nice idea but a bit full on I think. When we moved house we had all those things you mentioned, apart from the postman's name (?!) as we are grown ups and able to plan.

I know you mean well OP but if my new neighbour came round with all that, I'd say to DH right, one to avoid....

But maybe you live in a very rural, tight knit place where this sort of thing is normal?

I wouldn't like it though. Much rather they banged on my door after a week and asked us over for a glass of wine. If that, tbh.

NicoAndTheNiners · 18/04/2019 06:47

I'm worried now I've lived in my house 17 years and I don't know the postman's name.

Penguinpandarabbit · 18/04/2019 06:50

We just moved last year and a small welcome present from a neighbour would have been lovely but on day one would have found it bit much. I wouldn't do any cleaning things and not put too much in it, biscuits and a card would be enough.

Stiffasaboard · 18/04/2019 06:57

I think it was the ‘what else’ and the toilet roll comment that panicked people OP!

A bottle of wine and some milk plus the bin times and take away menus=Perfect

Loo rolls, several packs of biscuits and condiments, hand written welcome notes and your undying friendship foreva = uncomfortably over bearing

Strike the balance i guess!

ChocChocButtons · 18/04/2019 06:59

You sound lovely 😊 in my flat building I’ve never spoken to my neighbor once it’s sad.

I think it’s a nice gesture, a bit like saying we’re here if you need us as well. If more people were like you OP the world but be a little bit nicer.

Sadly the world is full of people like on this thread. Nasty!

Ivegotthree · 18/04/2019 06:59

Prosecco AND wine?

Tea AND coffee?

I hate Prosecco so that would go in my school jumble sale cupboard. The wine might be used for cooking.

Honestly OP this thread is staggering. A whole hamper for someone you've never met?

I say this as someone who runs our local neighbourhood watch and is friendly with most of our neighbours, this is barking mad and a clear sign for the poor incomers that they will have to steer clear of you.

cptartapp · 18/04/2019 07:00

Our neighbours gave us a bottle of wine and that was fine. Anything else and I'd be worried you'd never be off our doorstep expecting us to be best friends.

CherryPlum · 18/04/2019 07:01

Perhaps you could helpfully include a note with a little run-down of the other neighbours on the street:

No 4: Arthur & Jean, retired and like gardening and golf

No 6: Anna, divorced, two kids, enjoys going the gym

No 8: Mr Thomas, bit of a loner, keeps pigeons

No 10: Ian & Liz, the swingers

DonnaDarko · 18/04/2019 07:02

I think it's a little OTT too, sorry. I appreciate you want to make a nice gesture but you don't even know if they will drink any of that. If it were me, I don't drink tea, the only coffee I like is douwe Egberts, and the prosecco would go to waste lol

Some people have suggested milk but I wouldn't even suggest that as there are a lot of people drinking dairy alternatives these days (like me).

A card and offer to make tea or coffee on moving day, or offer them water, would be enough for me. But I am at heart a Londoner and we don't really like talking to strangers lol.

BlackCatSleeping · 18/04/2019 07:08

To be fair, the Op had already bought the basket of stuff. She was just looking for ideas for other stuff to add to it. I don't think she was really expecting all the creepy posts. So, at least she did rein it in.