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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a welcome package for neighbour moving in tomorrow?

331 replies

Imfinallyhappy1 · 17/04/2019 17:32

We have a new neighbour moving in tomorrow, I’ve never met them but I used to live in the house until it was sold about 8 months ago.

I moved next door as it came up for rent when our landlord gave us notice.

I have a small hamper basket and was going to write the bin collection times, useful info like posties name, some tea, coffee, biscuits etc. Just some bits for moving in day.

Is there anything else that would be good? Or helpful?

OP posts:
Claw01 · 17/04/2019 21:47

I would appreciate your hamper OP! If it goes to a food bank, it’s helped someone.

If neighbour is a not liking hamper variety and thinks you are overbearing, over friendly etc it says more about the neighbour and they don’t have to talk to you!

CheshireChat · 17/04/2019 21:47

I want to move somewhere friendly- whereabouts are you Grin?

FraggleRocking · 17/04/2019 21:53

You’re clearly going ahead with the hamper which is fine, it’s your decision and I hope they like it. But please don’t tell the new neighbours the postman’s name. For some reason I would find this especially odd.

MyKingdomForACaramel · 17/04/2019 21:53

I think it’s lovely. I remember when I bought my first house that my neighbour baked me a cake and dropped it round - I was genuinely touched that she’d gone to the effort.

Alsohuman · 17/04/2019 22:00

No wonder the concept of community has gone. I’m delighted to say it still exists here. Our neighbours are the best imaginable, so much so that they have a spare key to our house and we have a jointly owned set of ladders. I dread moving if some of the posters on this thread are anything to go by.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 17/04/2019 22:09

Don’t tell them you used to live there either. They’ll forever feel like they’re living in “your” house if you do.

Lowena · 17/04/2019 22:10

Honestly, we are really friendly with our neighbours (they popped a card in when we moved), so community spirit really isn't dead! As others have said, although it is coming from a really kind place, the hamper from a stranger suggests to many of us either being over invested or thinking they know better than you do about what you need. We bought a newbuild and a hamper was included from the company. The entire contents was regifted or went to the food bank because it wasn't 'our' brands or stuff we needed.

EmmaC78 · 17/04/2019 22:15

I don't think it is about lack of community but more about finding the balance between that and a new neighbours privacy. The first day someone moves in is not a good day to drop in with a hamper full of food that may or may not be to the new neighbours taste. I would happily help any of my neighbours in an emergency but would not want some toilet roll and the bin schedule dropped off on the first day in my new home!

TowerRingInferno · 17/04/2019 22:17

It’s a lovely thing to do. A few neighbours did that sort of thing when I moved into my current house.

Claw01 · 17/04/2019 22:23

Over invested, know it all, overbearing, nosey, wants to be best friends, weirdo, not my brand etc!! Seriously do people really read this much into a box, with a few bits in as a welcoming gesture!?

Lowena · 17/04/2019 22:27

Claw - apparently

Claw01 · 17/04/2019 22:30

Humanity 🤷‍♀️

Dongdingdong · 17/04/2019 22:31

Flash wipes I can just about understand - but non-alcoholic wine?! Please don’t inflict that horrible stuff on your new neighbours OP. Either give them the real deal or some posh tea or something instead.

As someone who enjoys a nice bottle or two of red a week, I’d be immediately suspicious of anyone who came round to my house bearing non-alcoholic booze as a welcome gift.

SecretWitch · 17/04/2019 22:32

I think you are lovely.

My American MIL told me about receiving a visit from the Welcome Wagon after moving house in the 1970’s. The lady arrived with cards, flowers, phone numbers of local businesses and a few take away menus. My MIL said she was very grateful for the information about her new neighbourhood.

Lowena · 17/04/2019 22:32

Life is just too short to drink bad tea, sorry Wink

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 17/04/2019 22:38

This thread is funny.
Lol at "the Postie's name"

TrixieFranklin · 17/04/2019 22:50

It's really nice - any good local takeaway/food delivery services would be good to pop on the local info bit!

BlackCatSleeping · 17/04/2019 22:53

@CherryPlum

It’s funny because I am a teetotal, non-coffee drinking, non-Tetley drinking vegetarian. I was actually looking at what the OP posted thinking I would hate all of that. 🤦‍♀️

Never mind, OP. Hopefully your neighbors will be pleased though.

huntinghighandlow · 17/04/2019 22:56

I've known our postie for years, no idea of his name!

Last time we moved 20 years ago we didn't think of packing a box of essentials, I'd have loved someone to pop round with tea, biscuits and milk. The people we bought the house off kindly put a bottle of wine and soft drinks for the kids in the fridge with a note saying we hope you'll be as happy here as we have, so that was nice.

We're getting ready to sell up and now you've got me all excited, that I might get a hamper of treats from my prospective new neighbours. I'll be fuming if nothing arrives by the end of the week 😂

WattdeEll · 17/04/2019 23:10

We had new neighbours last year. We met them before they actually moved in as they didn’t move in right away. We knew right away we would get on, and sent them a card with a list of good to know info including opening times of the village shop, the list of known mobile phone providers that works in the village (there are only two), some trusted traders names and numbers. We have been on friendly terms ever since. We are in the middle of two great neighbours now, we meet at the pub for a meal twice a year and will smile and wave when we come and go. It is the right balance for us. None of us are likely to move any time soon as good neighbours are worth their weight in gold.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 17/04/2019 23:14

any good local takeaway/food delivery services would be good to pop on the local info bit!

Sounds like the sheet you find on the bedside table in a B&B!

allnewredfairy · 17/04/2019 23:15

I think it's weird. At a push I could vaguely see a cheap bottle of plonk or a house plant being ok but I'd think you were needy. I'd drink your wine then avoid you.Grin

DrWhy · 17/04/2019 23:17

I popped over with a welcome card and a box of shortbread. I’ve been meaning to invite them over ever since - it’s been 2 weeks now and they have a baby the same age as ours to within a couple of weeks so it would be a bit daft not to try to get to know them!

DrWhy · 17/04/2019 23:19

Oh and I should have given them the bin schedule as they put the wrong one out the next morning and I didn’t notice until I got home and the collection had been. To be fair this (and pretty much all the other info about local things) can now be Googled!

Inadvertentlybrilliant · 17/04/2019 23:22

The OP isn't interested in our opinions. She was always going to do the hamper anyway. If I'd come on here for ideas on what to put in the hamper, and loads of people thought it was OTT and would put them of the donor neighbour, I would heed the advice. I would not want to creep out my new neighbour.

The fact that OP is going ahead makes me feel it's all about how she feels and not about the neighbour.