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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to give my children a double bed each?

529 replies

TheCherries · 16/04/2019 23:22

I am in the process of decorating new bedrooms for my two young teenagers.

Both are insistent their friends all now have double beds and it isn’t fair I am making them keep their single beds.

Changing their beds isn’t an option we don’t have the budget for it anyway but it got me thinking is it really a rite of passage to have a double bed as a teenager?

Surely you wait until you are an age to share the bed with another. My feeling is the larger the bed the more you get used to spreading out.

I would prefer to keep the single bed with guest bed underneath for sleepovers and enjoy the extra space in their rooms the rest of the time.

We have two spare bedrooms so we don’t need to double up the use of their beds for relatives staying over.

Do yours have a double bed?

OP posts:
thecapitalsunited · 19/04/2019 19:59

When I bought my last mattress I was told that the guarantee was void if the mattress didn’t go onto a new bed. Slats lose their spring over time and put more stress on the mattress. Not sure what happens to a divan but I did notice dips in mine when it went so I’m sure that’s also an issue.

IamPickleRick · 19/04/2019 20:00

A double is defiantly fine for two people 😂 My DP is 6ft 3 and 21 stone and he and I only have a double. I’m only little but still. More cuddling and all that. If we had any bigger we’d not be able to open our wardrobe door.

woodhill · 19/04/2019 20:24

Turning the mattress is a nightmare too and more cleaning down the back

pointythings · 19/04/2019 20:46

Because not everyone gives their children what they want just for the sake of it. And quite right too.

And once again - more judgment... Can someone please answer me why it's so bad to let their children have something they want if it's feasible and affordable? Are we corrupting our children by doing kind things for them? Are we allowed to be kind to them as long as they are polite, well-behaved and do well at school, or do we wait until they are adults? Please oh 19th century parenting gurus, share your wisdom with me, Hmm

tiggerandpoohtoo · 19/04/2019 21:53

My 11 and 13 year old both have double beds. Tgatscwhat they chose when we did up their rooms recently.

LagunaBubbles · 20/04/2019 00:07

Because not everyone gives their children what they want just for the sake of it. And quite right too

Ffs it's a bed to sleep in, not a car!

lissie123 · 20/04/2019 00:17

When both my kids hit the teenage years and their rooms redecorated we discussed beds and for my DS who was 6’1 at 13 his single bed just too small. So we got him a double. It’s great. He loves it. Doubles as an extra couples bed when he’s at uni. For my DD she also appreciates her double bed-and when she has sleep overs with her friends ( girls) they all pile in. Times have moved on.

llizzie · 20/04/2019 03:32

Amazing to find so many people with large bedrooms for their children. I want to downsize and have looked at the floor plans of lots of houses and am amazed at the size of some rooms. It seems to me some are so small if you fell down you would be propped up against the wall.

Extra washing, bad backs for turning mattresses, and all that fluff under the beds. If that is what you suffer for the sake of giving in to the children, well so be it but remember when they sneak someone upstairs for nooky you are responsible.

isabellerossignol · 20/04/2019 04:41

My mind is boggled by the number of people who equate a double bed with sex and seem to believe that a single bed is some sort of barrier to sex.

University halls of residence all over the land have got single beds and I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that that doesn't actually prevent people having sex in them.

SleepingSloth · 20/04/2019 04:47

Extra washing, bad backs for turning mattresses, and all that fluff under the beds. If that is what you suffer for the sake of giving in to the children, well so be it but remember when they sneak someone upstairs for nooky you are responsible.

😂

Ferii · 20/04/2019 06:25

@llizzi remember when they sneak someone upstairs for nooky you are responsible.

Single beds aren't some magic abstinence aid XD As a teen I got up to a lot in a 3/4 single and those are tiny!

mummabubs · 20/04/2019 06:32

Me and my two sisters all had single beds the entire time we lived at home (whilst a lot of my friends had doubles). Yes, I was probably a little jealous at times but it hasn't traumatised me. (Although since I've left home and have my own place with DH I did insist on having a king size bed... so maybe I was trying to make up for it!) GrinWink

speakout · 20/04/2019 07:10

llizzie

What a strange attitude>?

You think double beds will envourage early sex? lol

If young people want to have sex then they will, comfort is often a low priotity- cars, in the woods, on he floor, on a sofa. I really don't think their decisions will be influenced by dimensions of upholstery.
My back is fine for turning matresses, washing is easy.

I have the space for doubles- and my kids never asked for them- it was my idea, not theirs can't see the problem with a double bed for a teenager.
Some teens sleep in single beds, some doubles, some beds on stilts, futons, tatami mats. As long as they are comfortable and sleep I can't see the issue

whyohwhyowhydididoit · 20/04/2019 08:47

😂 at the idea of needing a big bed for sex. Or any bed at all for that matter. And as for allowing children and young people to have what they want for the sake of it. Heaven forbid. Let them sleep on the floor with a few rags to cover them. That will give them moral fibre.

Izzabellasasperella · 20/04/2019 09:06

My dad(19) and ds(16) have king-size beds! Have I committed some kind of MN crime? They are just beds, they take up a bit of space but both bedrooms are big enough. Lol at the poster who thinks a single bed is a form of contraception 😀

MrsCollinssettled · 20/04/2019 09:19

I had a double bed from the age of 7 because my room also served as the guest bedroom and I had to sleep on camp bed in my sibling's room on a regular basis.

My dc has had a double since the age of 4. Their request when the room was redecorated and has proved very useful for housing the cuddly toys and still plenty of space to sleep. DC doesn't give up their room for guests though.

I've never been able to get other people getting so attached to their bedrooms being private space. Still happy to let people have mine now.

cantkeepawayforever · 20/04/2019 09:36

Slats lose their spring over time and put more stress on the mattress.

Looks at the substantial pieces of wood that form the slats of all the beds in the house and consider how they are 'losing their spring'. They don't HAVE any spring. They are planks of solid wood, screwed down at both ends.....

thecapitalsunited · 20/04/2019 18:35

Solid slats are also harder on your mattress. Sprung slats help distribute the forces on the mattress like a shock absorber so the mattress will last longer. Sprung slats are actually stronger than solid because of the flex they have. Too much force and solid slats just break where a sprung slats will bend before they break.

pourmeanotherglass · 20/04/2019 19:07

Dd has a double so that when we have visitors she can move in with her sister and use hers as the guest room. She likes it because she can sit in bed with schoolwork / revision spread around her. ( she does also have a desk).

caringcarer · 20/04/2019 22:12

Depends on bedroom size and size/age of kids.

SusanneLinder · 21/04/2019 12:02

My daughter had a single bed till we did her room up. She is 20. I would have got her one earlier if finances allowed.

Sammmyk48 · 22/04/2019 16:36

If they want a double bed get em to earn their money and buy it we had to do a lot of hard graft yo biy things ive got a lik girl shes 5 as single bed off own when she grows up can earn own keep and get one.

notacooldad · 22/04/2019 16:44

If they want a double bed get em to earn their money and buy it
Why though? If you are replacing a bed anyway and got the space why not? There wasn't a vast difference in price when we bought both lads there. Bedding was from IKEA so it hardly broke the bank.
I'm not seeing the problem myself!
My parents bought me things I liked and wanted from time to time, dont you do that for your kids or fo they only get what they absolutely need and that's it? A bed is more practical and a better investment than virtually all the "just because ' purchases I wanted and got over the years.

thethethethethe · 22/04/2019 17:13

Doesn't explain why some posters have tried to PERSUADE reluctant DCs to accept a double bed. I think that for some parents, and/or DCs, it's about keeping up with the Joneses.

llizzie · 22/04/2019 17:16

If they are 'young teenagers' then I assumed they were under 16? It is illegal to have sex under that age and by giving them double beds you are - perhaps - giving them the impression that it is acceptable to have sex, otherwise why give them double beds?

If you want to give your young teenagers permission to make good use of a double bed then go ahead.