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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to give my children a double bed each?

529 replies

TheCherries · 16/04/2019 23:22

I am in the process of decorating new bedrooms for my two young teenagers.

Both are insistent their friends all now have double beds and it isn’t fair I am making them keep their single beds.

Changing their beds isn’t an option we don’t have the budget for it anyway but it got me thinking is it really a rite of passage to have a double bed as a teenager?

Surely you wait until you are an age to share the bed with another. My feeling is the larger the bed the more you get used to spreading out.

I would prefer to keep the single bed with guest bed underneath for sleepovers and enjoy the extra space in their rooms the rest of the time.

We have two spare bedrooms so we don’t need to double up the use of their beds for relatives staying over.

Do yours have a double bed?

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 19/04/2019 09:27

Littledog Grin

Hotterthanahotthing · 19/04/2019 09:31

DD has a small double but that was because when I left my ex we moved out with just bin bags of clothes and had to start from scratch.Had we stayed she would had remained in a single.

pointythings · 19/04/2019 09:47

I'm GrinShock at so much judgement on those of us who have allowed our kids double beds. We are 'pandering' to them. We will 'lose their respect'. They might 'sneak up friends of the opposite sex'. Honestly, are you so weak in your own parenting that you think this could happen just because you let them have a double bed? Anyone would think it's still 1860!

FWIW my DDs are both gay so I won't have to worry about anyone of the opposite sex. I also trust them to ask me about having a partner overnight because, you know, parenting.

PonyPals · 19/04/2019 09:51

My 3 year old has a king size bed Grin
It was always in the spare room and we didn't want to get rid of it to buy a single one so lucky him.
It does come in handy when he is sick and one of us gets into bed with him.

gamerchick · 19/04/2019 09:55

I'm grinshock at so much judgement on those of us who have allowed our kids double beds. We are 'pandering' to them. We will 'lose their respect'. They might 'sneak up friends of the opposite sex'. Honestly, are you so weak in your own parenting that you think this could happen just because you let them have a double bed? Anyone would think it's still 1860!

I know, it's mint isn't it Grin 19 pages of it as well.

All this pearl clutching over a bigger bed. So funny!

AnnaFiveTowns · 19/04/2019 10:31

Both have doubles as they're more comfortable. If you haven't got the budget now that's fine; maybe for next Xmas/ birthday they could get one? If not, they'll survive!

TheLittleDogLaughed · 19/04/2019 10:40

I think they should sleep on the thin edge of a plank of wood until they are married. They can have a single sheet thrown over them if they're good.

pointythings · 19/04/2019 10:51

LittleDog as long as they're thankful! GrinGrinGrinGrin

LovelyIssues · 19/04/2019 11:22

Yes I would say from about 13 most will have doubles

ShowMeTheKittens · 19/04/2019 11:26

well how entitled...I never heard of it before. Its twice the washing as well.

TheLittleDogLaughed · 19/04/2019 11:29

pointythings exactly.

Beansandcoffee · 19/04/2019 12:04

Who cares. If you have the space and ££ buy a double bed. If you don’t the stick with singles. Not every teenager has a double bed as not everyone has the space (except in MN bubble land).

woodhill · 19/04/2019 12:05

I hate changing my own queen size bed let alone another one, a lot more washing.

Also when dc sometimes vomit or wee in beds, that was my own experience- bad enough stripping a single bed.

Depends on your space in rooms and n.o. of dc.

neveradullmoment99 · 19/04/2019 13:13

Not every teenager has a double bed as not everyone has the space (except in MN bubble land).

So true.
I couldn't fit a double bed in my ds room or it would limit his space so much. Same for my dd's.

cantkeepawayforever · 19/04/2019 13:14

The thing I confess I find most bizarre is that people replace beds - rather than just mattresses.

We bought our own bed when we got married and moved in together, and fully expect to still be using it for the rest of our lives.

We bought beds when the children were 2, assuming that they would last until they left home - and they have. I entirely anticipate that their children will sleep in them when they visit us once they have families and children of their own, unless we have very significantly downsized.

My DCs sleep in my DBs' single beds when we visit my parents - those bed frames are going on 50 years old now, but the wood is not decaying, the slats are good and the mattresses are modern - what reason would there be to throw them out?

It's why anyone replaces a bed at all that I find bizarre - unless they didn't think ahead and bought toddler beds or fancy child-themed beds when the children were very small - not what size the bed is?

IamPickleRick · 19/04/2019 14:15

Are they proper oak beds cantkeepawayforever? Mine was as a child/teenager so there was no way my mum would be replacing it in a hurry. I loved that bed. It was only a single but felt huge because the of the head board.

No one here has spare rooms or guest rooms to keep a double bed unless their kids have moved out, we are in London, space is a premium. A lot of adults rent a room in a shared house that’s the size of my bathroom.

BikeRunSki · 19/04/2019 14:21

@cantkeepawayforever As a toddler, DS slept in my Grandfather’s childhood bed. It is an oak bed, and is now slept in by a younger family baby. It’s about 100 years old.

DD had a Ikea pine bed. The wood on the headboard was very thin and split when I bumped into it moving furniture. It was only a few years old.

QuestionableMouse · 19/04/2019 14:22

I replaced my bed because I needed a new mattress and wanted something bigger. There's not much room in a single once you add in a couple of cats.

I'd had said bed 15+ years and it's now in my sister's as a toddler bed.

cantkeepawayforever · 19/04/2019 14:27

DH did once joke that our approach to furniture buying did tend towards the 'will it survive the nuclear apocalypse?' school! I can't think, offhand, of any furniture anywhere in the house which we have replaced with something with the same functionality- same sofa, same wardrobes and chests of drawers, same beds, same tables and chairs - ever since we set up house together over 20 years ago...and we have moved 6 times since then..

MadMadaMim · 19/04/2019 15:03

What @pointy said

Plus - if it's not an option, how can YBU?

If it is an option, then why would you not get doubles if that's what they want?

DD got a double when we redid her room. She was 12. Good for sleepovers. Good for visiting family. Good for parent/child snuggles.

As teens they spend most of their time in their rooms do may as well make it how they want it.

Hopefully, you'll find a solution to make everyone happy.

Purplejay · 19/04/2019 15:19

My 12 yo has a small double. It much nicer for relaxing than a single. A double is to small for two people. I have a superking for me and the dogs!

Petalflowers · 19/04/2019 16:29

I sleep on a double with dp!

Motherontheedge1 · 19/04/2019 16:35

When my sons bed needed replacing I got him a small double as that was all the room could take. I asked him if that’s what he d like. He’s always been very tall so he needed it. I have a self inflating mattress which I used if a friend stayed in his room. I’m assured it’s very comfortable.

ooooohbetty · 19/04/2019 19:48

@purplejay a double isn't too small for 2 people. Slept for years with my husband in one. Never bought anything bigger because never needed one.

ooooohbetty · 19/04/2019 19:51

If it is an option, then why would you not get doubles if that's what they want?

Because not everyone gives their children what they want just for the sake of it. And quite right too.

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