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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to give my children a double bed each?

529 replies

TheCherries · 16/04/2019 23:22

I am in the process of decorating new bedrooms for my two young teenagers.

Both are insistent their friends all now have double beds and it isn’t fair I am making them keep their single beds.

Changing their beds isn’t an option we don’t have the budget for it anyway but it got me thinking is it really a rite of passage to have a double bed as a teenager?

Surely you wait until you are an age to share the bed with another. My feeling is the larger the bed the more you get used to spreading out.

I would prefer to keep the single bed with guest bed underneath for sleepovers and enjoy the extra space in their rooms the rest of the time.

We have two spare bedrooms so we don’t need to double up the use of their beds for relatives staying over.

Do yours have a double bed?

OP posts:
Weemovitchski · 18/04/2019 19:13

When I separated from my daughter's father and moved into a flat (age 32) my own father said "You'll only need a single bed now, won't you..." Er, NO! Have been with next and probably final partner for 25 years. Think my dad thought I was going to embark on a shagfest...

Order654 · 18/04/2019 19:19

My daughter has one and she’s 7.

NewBeds · 18/04/2019 19:19

My 2 year old has a double! She's a terrible sleeper so one of us often gets in with her and it made sense for us to be comfy too!

Plus she is turned out on the rare occasions we have guests.

When the older siblings outgrow their bunk beds and if we have room, they will get doubles too. Useful for sleepovers and sick children.

PlentyOfBiscuitsWithTea · 18/04/2019 19:19

I didn’t have a double til I came home from uni and my parents thought it was about time. Esp as I was staying at my boyfriends a lot and we couldn’t stay at mine because of bed situation.
My daughter has a small double now, she’s 3. Changed her cot to a small double. I love being able to read bedtime books as a family on it/sleep in it if one of kids are ill/ use her room as a guest bedroom etc. Her slightly older brother has a cabin bed.
Anyone equating a double bed to sex is a bit Victorian! It doesn’t HAVE to mean that, (and if you have late teenagers you need to get used to the idea of sex soon anyway, bed or no bed, surely!)
All that aside - the issue is not whether a double bed is acceptable for their age (I think it is, as I think a single is too) it’s whether you can afford to/want to buy a bed at present. You may be in a different financial position to their friends’ parents, or have different financial priorities, just explain that.

Thissideof40 · 18/04/2019 19:21

My 14 year old has a 3/4 bed so bigger than a single but not quite a double. It’s just right for her.

Mehs · 18/04/2019 19:22

This has really got me thinking! My 10 year old in currently sleeping on a small double that forms the bottom of a bunk bed, I got that as she and her little sister liked to share - though when they do share they both end up sleeping on the top bunk which is a single! The bottom bunk is mostly filled with DDs junk, many toys, books, pens, bits of rubbish.
She'll be moving into her own room soon, and I thought to get her a single mid-sleeper type bed that has storage, but this thread has got me wondering if we should go for a double instead, thinking ahead to when she might want a bigger bed, and sacrifice the storage/floor space?

Doilooklikeatourist · 18/04/2019 19:31

Ours moved into doubles aged DS17 and DD15 as we moved into a house where the previous owners had left double beds
They had doubles because they were available , and just needed new bedding , not new beds
They both had teeny single rooms at uni , so managed that change well

HexagonalBattenburg · 18/04/2019 19:34

Mine currently share a room and will be likely to be doing so for at least the next 3 years (I know this is like MN abuse - but I'd rather they had to share a room and we lived within our means than have a mortgage we couldn't afford to pay). When we ever move into a bigger house - if the room sizes permit it I'll probably buy them doubles anyway (I'll have to re-buy beds as they currently have a bunk bed) just because one's a right sprawler anyway and it's bloody nice to have a huge bed to hog.

greatestshowpun · 18/04/2019 19:35

3 of my DC (teens and younger) have double beds, bought when we moved into our current house. It made the most sense as their rooms are big and it means that when we have people to stay they can share with a sibling and give up their bed.

Shutuptodd · 18/04/2019 19:35

This reminds me of how my nan used to share a single bed with her sister until one left home to get married.

kezibear · 18/04/2019 19:35

I got a double bed when I had a job and bought my own bed!! Past posters have said it's not about what you think it's about what they want...... No!! When they can buy their own they can get what they WANT until then they get what they need and unless they are well Over 6ft I really don't think they NEED a double bed.

BunsyGirl · 18/04/2019 19:37

DS1 age 8 has a double, which he’s had since we moved to our current house when he was 5. They are great for small children as you can crawl in for bedtime cuddles or when they are ill during the night. DS2 age 5 likes to share it with him and we also
use DS2’s room as an additional spare room when lots of family stay over - DS1 then goes in with DS2 who has twin beds in his room.

bubblegumunicorn · 18/04/2019 19:40

Really you’re denying them the ability to fall asleep starfished with a laptop next to them 😂 seriously I got a double at 16 when my old bed gave up! Most of my friends with big enough bedrooms had double beds from around that age too they were great for sleepovers :) but not everyone does I had plenty of friends with small bedrooms so no double beds

maclinks · 18/04/2019 19:41

My dd at 14 went down from a compact double to a single day bed, she prefers the extra room in her room, for dancing around ...it also has an extra pull out bed underneath for friends sleepovers.

puppy23 · 18/04/2019 19:42

I'd say its quite normal nowadays. Being made to buy their own bed seems a bit mean to me, especially as if they're young teenagers and thus too young to work.

PickAChew · 18/04/2019 19:47

Mehs DS1 has the IKEA Brimnes bed which has massive drawers built into it. So long as you have space to open the drawers on both sides, you get to keep the storage :) We keep everyone's spare bedding and both boys' out of season clothes in ours.

gamerchick · 18/04/2019 19:48

Just another way of saying kids are lesser really isn't it? Been a right eye opener this thread. Big beds have to be earned Grin

MrsPinkCock · 18/04/2019 19:52

Ours have all had doubles since they were 11, but it coincided with us moving house and/or redecorating their rooms. DD had a princess carriage bed until she was 10 and then had a 3/4.

I quite like sprawling out in my super king when DH isn’t around so I get the need for space Grin

I managed until I was 20 without a double bed though and I survived!

Youhadmeathello1 · 18/04/2019 19:57

Most of my kids friends have double beds. Mine do too - they are 17 and 15. They have the space and we had the budget to buy them but if you don’t then there is nothing wrong with a single. You do what you can. If you were replacing the single bed then perhaps then consider a double but not if there is nothing wrong with their bed. I never had a double bed growing up.

pointythings · 18/04/2019 19:59

gamer I so agree. It's the, 'well, when I was a teenager, I slept in a soggy cardboard box and I was thankful!' ethos. And then people using the word 'indulgent - as if there's something lacking in your moral fibre if you want to give your children something nicer than basic.

If you have the space and can afford it, why not let your kids have doubles? I'm sure as hell not going back to a single, even though I am single. I love spreading out in my double with its awesome mattress.

Castieldeansam · 18/04/2019 20:03

For love nor money couldn’t persuade my teenager son to get a double when we changed his bed!!!

DartmoorDoughnut · 18/04/2019 20:03

Both boys - 2 & 4 years old - have double beds as we have the space (Victorian house) and I like to cuddle them to sleep 🤷🏻‍♀️

minionsrule · 18/04/2019 20:04

When we moved last year ds went from a box room to a double bedroom, he ysed to hate having a single bed. The seller did not need a lot of furniture so, as we were moving from rented, we made an offer for bits of furniture, one was the bed frame in that room. Assumed it was a double but when we measured for a mattress it was a king size, so ds at the age of 12 had a king size..... he loves it Grin

gamerchick · 18/04/2019 20:15

gamer I so agree. It's the, 'well, when I was a teenager, I slept in a soggy cardboard box and I was thankful!' ethos. And then people using the word 'indulgent - as if there's something lacking in your moral fibre if you want to give your children something nicer than basic

Yep, it's right up there with 'when I were a lad we walked 3 mile to school with snow up to my chin' when schools shut in winter Grin

Catsinthecupboard · 18/04/2019 20:15

Truly, it's not a big deal is it?

Mine were too long to stay in single.
Although, their df is large and he was fine with single until i came along.

I found beautiful iron bed for dd and ds has my hand me down from my grandmother.
He's fourth gen in it.

New mattresses obvs.

I hate singles. Always feel like I am going to fall off.

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