To ask those who have high earning partners......

[Hollypies]

I’m shocked by the amount of women on MN with very high earning DP/DHs and I wonder, how did you meet and what is your life like? I can appreciate this is a little nosey, but after years of dating/being in relationships with men who are very low earners and with no ambitions in terms of their career....I’m very curious. I’ve always assumed that highly successful men/women usually mix with their own kind and meet an equally high earning spouse through their work or social circle... but thought it’d be interesting to ask!

might not be that much money to you love but it is to a lot of us!!!

Given that it's about 4x the average annual salary and more than 95% of the population earn, I'd say it's a lot of money to the vast majority of people.

I have a friend who married a professional climber - does that count?

I met DP through temping at his work. His career has only gone stratospheric since we started dating tho so I wasn’t in it for the money!

Met at a festival through mutual friends. We were both working class young grads. I was more ambitious and initially earned a lot more money. I thought he was a charming idler but I adored him anyway.

We had our first baby and I had a bit of a melt down about leaving him to go back to work. DH just stepped up to the plate magnificently, went into career minded mode and his salary soared.

We had lots of children very close together. I was a happy SAHM doing all the domestics but we hardly saw each other. Decided the money wasn’t worth the lifestyle and DH set up in his own with me doing the back room stuff.

The business massively took off and we have been happy to combine a great income with a lovely work/life balance and now retired mid fifties.

I was recently talking to my very old girlfriends about DD’s boyfriend being a lovely lad but maybe a bit of an idler with no discernible prospects, and they all laughed their heads off and reminded me that DH had been exactly the same until his late twenties.

@NoughtpercentAPR

Do you literally just mean £100,000 a year then? That's actually not that much money.

FFS there's always one!

For me, the biggest thing is that I never need to worry about petrol

This touched my heart, what a lovely way to appreciate your daily life

The 'I earn £200K and DH earn half a mil a year but it's not that much' brigade are out in force on here.

Always pop up in their droves, but I don't know a soul irl who earns like that, and I know doctors, surgeons, dentists, vicars, reverends, head teachers, architects, bank managers etc etc. Earning nowhere NEAR what some claim they are earning on here.

This thread smells like the farmers just sprayed the fields with fertiliser.

@Sarahlou63 yes they're lazy as hell and like to dress down but they do prefer attractive woman who take care of themselves.

@damnthatoneistakenagain

Do you literally just mean £100,000 a year then? That's actually not that much money.

FFS there's always one

FFS back at you little Miss Patronising.

The OP was basically asking where to meet a high earning man. Defining a high earning man as £100,000 a year earner is actually entirely different from definining a high earning man as a £1m a year earner.

There are a lot of accessible people who earn £100,000 a year as I said - including senior professionals - because although £100,000 is alot more than most people earn, when you are looking at the class of high earners, it isn't objectively that much money.

£100,000 would not give you a comfortable lifestyle in London for example. In the class of "high earners", it really isn't that much money.

You have a good chance of meeting men who earn £100k a year. You have a slim chance of meeting men who earn £1m a year.

So yes, I stand by what I said and there is no need to be rude but given you have been, right back at you.

£100,000 would not give you a comfortable lifestyle in London for example

Yes it would. Stop talking shit.

@NoughtpercentAPR

Cool story bro ^

@NunoGoncalves

What you said! Utter crap some people speak don't they?

Oooooh, I think I may change my username to littlemisspatronising..

Yep I may consider that. I quite like it.

Really? Where could you get a comfortable family sized house with a garden in central london with a mortgage on a £100k in a decent area?

I'd like to know! It's not the sort of income that would give you that luxury comfortable lifestyle I think the OP is talking about in central London.

100k as one family does give you a comfortable lifestyle in London but it's depends on you buying a
£500k house - won't get you anything fancy and it would have to be outskirts of London
You'd have one nice car
Kids would go to state school and likely you'd only have one
You'd have one maybe 2 foreign holidays

If you have more expensive taste than this, 100k is actually not a lot of money

@NoughtpercentAPR

You are chatting straw-man bullshit.

Most people cannot afford to buy a property in their own area these days (without a sizeable deposit.) And very few people could BUY a fucking HOUSE in central London. You are talking several millions FFS.

It's utter bollocks that £100K is 'nothing.' And most people would be comfortable on that - yes, even living in London, (where most people would rent anyway!)

Actually many properties in central London cost more than several millions. Often 10 more more millions!

*10 or more millions!

DH actual earnings are approx £500k pa but he has assets which could be sold which amount to a fair amount of capital.
I say ‘he’ rather than ‘we’ because he has earned it, not me.
He pursued me (not being immodest, that was the way of it). I was sort of his customer - too outing to give actual details. I had 0 idea of what his earnings were and even less interest. I’d always considered anyone who chased money rather vulgar and mercenary. Perhaps naively.
It has become clear over time that part of the attraction for him (hopefully not all of it though) was that he knew I wasn’t after his money
Money removes some worries from your life and it can give you a bit of fun.
But honestly, it’s the people in your life that give it meaning. You’d gain a great deal more confidence and satisfaction from earning the money yourself
And as someone said up thread, quite often ‘driven’ types are obsessive and by definition, not easy going or easy to live with.
I give you Donald Trump. Imagine having to fuck that.

I’ve really lowered the tone haven’t I?

It's not the sort of income that would give you that luxury comfortable lifestyle I think the OP is talking about in central London

You keep moving the goalposts to suit your own argument. You said 100k per year wasn't a lot of money. It puts you in the top 5% of all earners so it objectively is.

Then you said "£100,000 would not give you a comfortable lifestyle in London", when it demonstrably can, because millions of people live comfortable lifestyles in London on less than that.

So now you're changing it to a luxury comfortable lifestyle in central London. Of course you can't live a life of luxury in central London for 100k per year, but where did that even come from? OP simply asked where people met their high-earning partners. You're really going off on a number of huge tangents here.

To answer the original question, we worked together straight out of uni. Earnt similar wages until I had our first child and went part time, took a pay cut to be home more. He’s carried on working normally and has seen his salary triple since we had our first kid. I guess if I’d not started a family in my 20s I’d be a very high earner too - or maybe I wouldn’t who knows.

I met DH when we were broke post-graduate students. He was an idealistic politics student who was going to change the world, then he started to work in politics, realized how crap the pay and job security was, and switched to consulting and now works for a massive brokerage firm.

I make a very good salary, but he makes double what I do + bonus + stock options.

My DH is a high earner. We met at university. Similar backgrounds and education. I actually out earn him though.

Most of my coworkers met their spouses in school or married someone they met via work.