Page 12 | To ask those who have high earning partners......

wasthesummerof69 · 17/04/2019 17:26

DH earns several £100k a year and I met him at a drunken party in my late 20s. I have a 'profession' as do the vast majority of our friends, from school, university, work etc. His salary is not particularly unusual among our friends and a lot of parents at the DCs ( state school) easily earn over £100k. I am currently a SAHM. Live in London and do not have a 'luxurious' lifestyle but have a nice ( terraced) house, reasonable holidays etc and do not have money worries but equally we watch what we spend. Both sets of parents are comfortably off as are siblings although a couple are teachers so earn nowhere near £100k but live in a much cheaper part of the UK.
Finance and Law is still the way to make lots of money...

Brian9600 · 17/04/2019 17:29

We met when we were both trainee solicitors. He’s now a partner on just over £500k, I’m a writer and SAHM.

I gave up my job because having two of us with v unpredictable and long hours wasn’t working well with small children. Otherwise we would most likely be on similar salaries now.

justrestinginmybankaccount · 17/04/2019 17:30

I earn about 100k single parent. I don’t think I am a high earner (which isn’t what you asked anyway) but I’m surrounded by men who are (in Sales). And almost ALL of those men, have a wife at home who doesn’t work.

My struggles are unique in work - travel plans etc are an enormous stress to me, but to them it’s just business as usual, wife is keeping the show on the road at home.

Ellenborough · 17/04/2019 17:30

These posts make me laugh. It’s statistically unlikely that 80% of MN users are high earners

People on a joint family income of under 50k a year aren't going to come on a thread entitled 'Tell me how you met your high earning partner' though, are they?

PaisleyCrib · 17/04/2019 17:37

I met DH through work (he was my client). At the time, I was 26 and earning around 250k per year, which was actually higher than him. We got married after a few years and I gave up work. He now earns between £3 million and £12 million per year, because that's the (slightly shocking) reality for a successful hedge fund manager. I still pinch myself almost every day.
We both come from 'normal' backgrounds to say the least - both of us grammar school educated, with parents who wouldn't have been able to pay for private education. Both of us were the first in our families to go to university.
But to answer your question, we met through work so I guess it was indeed a case of the same circles...
My life is pretty good. I have a full time housekeeper and I get to spend time with the kids, and doing what I like (have dabbled in a few work ventures but I'll never return to the City - personally I hated it!).

Mary54 · 17/04/2019 17:44

Get lucky and be prepared to support them with the sort of hard work they don’t have time for and be prepared to live life in their shadow.
For us, it just happened When we met, 40 years ago, I was still at school and he was an apprentice at BT. When he finished, he decided to go to university for electrical engineering. By then I was working in a bank so doing ok. Gave the necessary moral support for him to do it and accepted a long distance relationship. His parents were against him giving up a secure job. We married when he had one more year at university so I got a transfer to join him and supported him financially. When he finished, I transferred again. I then went to Uni and was a solicitor until our DCs came along. From that point on, I have been a SAHM at worked parttime or in low pay jobs. We moved to Germany in 2000 for his work so my career options are very restricted.
Overall, I have taken full responsibility for children, house, cleaning, laundry, cooking, gardening etc as his work is more valuable. He acknowledges that he couldn’t have achieved what he has without my support, so I am lucky. I hope the OP is aware that even if they meet someone who earns well, they may have to be prepared to make sacrifices. It is not a guarantee of an easy life and the relationship is more important than the money

harajukubabe · 17/04/2019 17:49

People on a joint family income of under 50k a year aren't going to come on a thread entitled 'Tell me how you met your high earning partner' though, are they?

If the national average wage is just above gbp 29500 a year. Anyone earning double that is a higher bracket earner.

The anomaly on this thread is folks earning over a 100k a year and the number of them.

MPs earn gbp 78k (maybe this is higher now) a year. How are all these solicitors etc earning 300-400k a year. I have friends who are bar and corporate lawyers. They do not earn near this amount.

I know as I pay the salaries for a lot of them.

Mmest75 · 17/04/2019 17:54

We met through friends - but I earnt more initially - I’m now a SAHM.

managedmis · 17/04/2019 17:55

DH just stepped up to the plate magnificently, went into career minded mode and his salary soared.

^

If only it was that simple for everyone women

PaisleyCrib · 17/04/2019 17:55

MPs earn gbp 78k (maybe this is higher now) a year. How are all these solicitors etc earning 300-400k a year. I have friends who are bar and corporate lawyers. They do not earn near this amount.

@harajukubabe - are you doubting whether posters are being honest? i have a number of friends who are corporate lawyers. They are either partners or close to becoming partners... a partner can earn about £1mn per year, so I don't find it difficult to believe at all. I should add that I'm talking about the major (top 5) London-based law firms.

QuizzlyBear · 17/04/2019 17:55

I can only speak for myself but my DH is a high earner (over £100k) and I currently don’t bring in much at all. When we married however I earned more than he did, my earning potential took a sharp drop after kids.

He’s a high earner because he works hard, is driven and I’ve encouraged him to take chances that he wouldn’t naturally have taken on his own. So I can claim some credit and a decent birthday gift every year!

mumoftinyterrors · 17/04/2019 17:58

I met my husband when we were 20 and he was a trainee broker and I was an assistant manager on payroll. I earned three times what he did and used to pay for everything, meals, days out etc. We moved in together 5 years later by which time he had progressed at work and was on around 50k. I had my eldest and became a SAHM whilst his career really took off. He now manages his team and is on an excellent wage with bonuses. Our relationship is 16 years old this year and has outlasted most of those that guys on his desk have had because we build a foundation right at the start where it wasn't about money (he didn't have any 😆) so we fell in love because we liked each other, not because of the money he earned. Most of the girls the guys on his desk date/ marry are gold diggers. Sad really.

wasthesummerof69 · 17/04/2019 17:59

DH is a barrister and the average earnings at his chambers are almost £1m a year but that is corporate law. His criminal barrister friends earn way way less than that. His brother is a partner in a magic circle firm and he earns around £2m a year. Even trainees there start on huge amounts of money. I trained as an accountant and my contemporaries who stayed with the firm and are partners are on £100s of thousands as well, others are CEOs etc. We also have friends who work as lawyers at regional councils- they earn nearer £40k.

MrsBadcrumble123 · 17/04/2019 17:59

My husband earns 95k I earn 17k p/t - compared to some of the equity partners in his firm this is not actually that much. We are comfortable but definitely not rich - I drive an 11 year old car, he drives a 5 year old car - I see other school mums in Range Rovers, have designer clothes, lovely hair, nails etc - but know this is all on HP - we can’t live like that - we save and pay outright for anything we want. What I’ve learnt is appearances can be very deceiving....

harajukubabe · 17/04/2019 18:00

Here are some statistics:

25% Earn gbp 78k
10% earn 170k
5% earn 270k
2% earn 460k

This is from uk government tax site.

So how come a high % of the 2% are on Mumsnet?

Foxmuffin · 17/04/2019 18:02

@harajukubabe

There is a world of difference even within professionals. Especially the legal profession. To earn some of the figures in this post you have to sell your soul.nits possible to be a lawyer without going to such extremes (although not possible without working hard to some degree). It also depends what area of law you specialise in.

PaisleyCrib · 17/04/2019 18:03

@harajukbabe - 17% of the population is still a huge number of people... and the Mumsnet population is generally middle class. Also, only people who find this question relevant to their own situation will answer.

Aragog · 17/04/2019 18:04

I’m shocked by the amount of women on MN with very high earning DP/DHs and I wonder, how did you meet and what is your life like? I

We met at school in lower sixth, way before earning any money. Infact before dh knew what he wanted to do as a career.

DD and I went to university at the same time, with similar qualifications, just for different courses and career outcomes.

DD accepts that he wouldn't have been able to raise to the level, and earns the amount, he has and have a family, without me being willing to take a step back and be available for our child. I was always going to be the lower earner as my career choice, though a profession, isn't known for high earnings, despite long hours at times.

We have a lovely life with no financial worries - partly due to the very high income coming in and also down too various life style choices - where we live, the type of house, choices of when to move or not, the fact we have only one child (though not really a choice that one), etc.

We have a very different income, and lifestyle in many ways, to our childhoods. Money hasn't solved some issues you incur in life but it can help make them easier in others and give you more options.

harajukubabe · 17/04/2019 18:04

@harajukubabe - are you doubting whether posters are being honest? i have a number of friends who are corporate lawyers. They are either partners or close to becoming partners... a partner can earn about £1mn per year, so I don't find it difficult to believe at all. I should add that I'm talking about the major (top 5) London-based law firms.*

I don't doubt you personally at all! But it does seem rather strange that 2% and above of high earners in the UK are all on Mumsnet. Or at least their wives are! 🤭

PaisleyCrib · 17/04/2019 18:06

I agree that lawyers generally have to sell their souls (at least for a few years) to make partner...
However, I can honestly say that DH (a hedge fund manager) never had to. His job is stressful, but the hours aren't long. He's back home in time to see the kids pretty much every day. I'm fully aware that he's very lucky (and I am too!) because I wouldn't cope well if he was hardly home!!

wasthesummerof69 · 17/04/2019 18:07

Mumsnet was mentioned by the headmaster of a secondary school I visited in SW London so I think it's quite possible that large numbers of high earners are on here!

Aragog · 17/04/2019 18:11

How are all these solicitors etc earning 300-400k a year.

Not all solicitors will earn this. However some certainly will, especially if they work for a large multinational firm with offices all over the world, be based in London if in the UK and work long hours, and are high up.
There are some London law firms offering almost £100k for newly qualified solicitors!

However, regional and small firms will not be earning these amounts, but may still be earning substantial 6 figure salaries, and more, once they are partners and more established.

As a solicitor for local firm, in a northern city, dh earns a substantial figure as a partner. It isn't £400k but it is very very good. But he has been loyal to the firm, worked his way up, be prepared to put in the hours (though not stupid hours like some London firms). He's also an established solicitor with a good reputation in his field - he makes a lot of money for the firm and is rewarded accordingly. And, he admits himself, he has fallen lucky on occasions as to older senior solicitors leaving to retire when he's been at the right stage to move up.

But we know solicitors and barristers who earn a varying amount depending on age, location, etc.

GingerLiberalFeminist · 17/04/2019 18:12

Blah, I think OP really is struggling to meet decent men and I empathise!

I've had a string of low ambition men. I decided to start going to different places. Galleries, posher bars etc. No luck yet but I'll let you know!
The earning part isn't the critical bit, it's finding a guy (or gal) who doesn't want to sponge off me/has ambition and drive!

Lellikelly26 · 17/04/2019 18:12

Met DH at a family member’s birthday meal.

CupOhTea · 17/04/2019 18:12

Well, there are over 4 million mumsnet users, so even 2% of that is rather a lot and I’d say MN leans more towards middle class, so I’d guess that the proportion of higher earners on here would be higher.

I don’t know how many people have posted on here, but I’m sure they aren’t all fantasists. There’s bound to be one or two though... As there are on a lot of threads.

Why has this especially bothered you though @harajukubebe? Nobody said MN was free of fantasists! I’d say it’s fairly rife on a lot of threads. I don’t see you popping up to lay down the law every day .

And just to reiterate; I am not a high earner and neither is my dh. So no defensiveness here!