To ask if you have young children sharing a room, who goes to bed first?

[Teddybear080818]

I am so exhausted from trying to figure this out.
Moved into a bigger house on Saturday and my two younger children now share a room. Except I can't figure out when to put them to bed!!

If the eldest goes first and isn't tired she will scream and scream and scream. If the youngest goes to sleep first, that means the eldest wouldn't get to bed until 8/8.30. Meaning I have zero time to myself as by that point I just want my bed!!

I thought my eldest was asleep so took the baby up, bam she wasn't and now she's howling at the stair gate. But I don't have it in me to bring her back down stairs (I sound like a shit parent, I probably am! But I'm struggling to cope with this)
And I'm worried if I bring down the older one and get the baby asleep, will she wake the baby upon going back to bed?!!

Honestly what do you do?! Please don't suggest an even bigger house

If you're the poster I'm thinking of, your DS was hurting his sister(s) while unattended with them. Sounds like you've sorted that now, so that's great

Is your house detached? It might be a bit distressing to your neighbors if it's not. But if it is, I'd set up a playpen/travel cot in the lounge. Both girls go to bed at the same time - baby in the lounge, elder DD in her bed. Any screaming is ignored. After a couple weeks the toddler will learn nobody's coming to save her from bedtime and will start settling, at which point you can start transferring DD2 in there after she's (older) asleep. Eventually in a few months they should be able to go down at the same time.

Have you tried not bringing your daughter down when she screams, but going in, calming her and leaving and staying away a minute longer each time she cries? Or does she not stop?

I think the ideal would be bed time together at this point, but it's all easier said than done.

I know you think 6 is too early for bed time for the 2 year old, but it sounds like she could need it. My 4 year old went to bed between 6 and 6.30 for well over a year, we are just now moving it towards 7. I felt like I was shopping her off to bed super early, but she needed to go to bed then. If we pushed it beyond that, she'd be awake until about 9 because we'd missed the point when she was the right level of tired to get to sleep.

I am that poster pp!! Ds now has his own room, which is so nice for him.

I really dont think dd needs her bed at 6, maybe 6.30 or 6.45 before she gets a chance to get over tired. Last night happened because she went to bed too early, but others were telling me that the baby should go down first!?

Older dd starts nursery next week so hoping for easier bed times!

Tonight is a bad night, the third time I have tried to put eldest dd down but she is just screaming each time youngest dd already in bed so no way I can leave her. How ridiculous, I'm actually crying over how hard this is

this is the first day of the rest of your life

This is so true. You deserve so much better.

If you think you are fat and aren't happy with that, use this time whilst he's still there to look after your children to start running, going to the gym or something. Do it for you, not because you want to convince him to stay or to attract someone else.

Focus on your children and becoming a version of yourself that you can love, regardless of whether a man loves you or not.

Having said that, do also take time to grieve the loss of this relatsonship that has been almost half of your life. I wouldn't try to make things more comfortable for him either. If you are hurting, don't feel you have to hide that from him. As your 'friend' he should care if you are hurting.