AIBU - to think this is too much?

[Harveyrabbit76]

My MIL has offered to buy my DS (nearly 3) a micro scooter (about £60)for Easter as I don't let him have easter eggs (obviously they are comparable?! :-)). AIBU to have said no as I think its too much money and missing the point of Easter? I grew up going to church on Easter Sunday and maybe having a couple of chocolate eggs.
Easter for me is more about being with family having a meal with maybe an easter egg hunt (plastic ones or something similar), not making it into Christmas part 2.

I know I have probably hurt MIL's feelings but I have said this would be a very generous gift for his birthday in August. What do you think?

You grew up having a couple of chocolate Easter eggs at Easter. I know all the stuff about chocolate not being good for you blah blah blah but seems a bit mean not to let her buy him a small egg. Unless he has an allergy tho you can get vegan, dairy-free, nut free, etc. these days.
You could explain that you don't want him to have too much chocolate so suggest a book and a small egg - that's what I give my grandchildren.

On Sunday he will be surrounded by the whole family who give him loads of attention and love and yes, loads of other presents -

So how will he think it's not Christmas again? How does a two year old reason with nanny bought me a scooter and a Nike bought me a colouring book, therefore this makes it Easter and not by birthday or Christmas? Your being ridiculous OP your son will not mix Easter and Christmas! Of course one way of ensuring that is to give eggs at Easter as tradition states?

Why is a scooter “wasting” money?

Because he has a hobby horse don’t you know....

You need some grace op and your ds needs some spontaneous, indulgent fun.

Let me tell you about DH's family. They were v v religious and miserly and everything was eked out. Sweets were once a flood, christmas presents were one and worthy because christmas was about Jesus.

So, the dc remember a shared between ice-cream on chilly holidays in Brid and the cake for 4 being alwats stretched between 5.

At 18 they all went to uni. At 21 the girls had become v alternative and left for the antipodes. Both have rejected marriage and a conventional life. One has three uncontrollable teens and is alternatively dour and whingy; the other more happy go lucky but addicted to chocolate and good food and is v overweight. There is mega guilt from both about just having a laugh and bloody good time for the sake of it.

DH turned out alright although is in their eyes a capitalist bastard. He has type 2 diabetes and still secretly snaffles mars bars.

Did I mention when fil died there was over a million in the bank. No joy, no pleasure, no small indulgences. Just mean spirited fucking meanness. ILs bought DS's first birthday present in the ELC sale after Christmas - a tractor reduced from 25 to 13. They were so pleased with themselves. DS was born on Christmas Day!

So, 2 miserable dc who left asap and one diabetic choc addict who also never went back after he was 18.

Joy op, Joy. Does it not fill ypu with joy to watch your son's childish joy at childish things.

Let the child have an Easter egg. Nobody’s ever died or ended up a delinquent for the want of a hollow chocolate egg once a year.

I grew up being respectful of the Easter story and without the mythical Easter bunny but we always sat quietly gorging on chocolate while the parents watched reruns of The Passion on Easter Sunday. Win-win!

One of my fondest childhood memories is lining up my modest haul (about 4-5) of Easter eggs on my bookshelf and choosing which one to to have a bit of each day. They usually lasted about a month, at 50 I still have all my own teeth and am normal weight with no addiction issues

Let your MIL buy him an Easter egg it’s called making memories

Oh and mine always had chocolate for breakfast on christmas day. Kept them going during mass! And an Easter egg hunt amongst the tombstones on Easter Sunday.

I suspect this is more a MiL problem than an Easter egg/scooter problem..

I think buying a gift at Easter is much better than a chocolate egg and think that MIL is just using Easter as an excuse to buy the scooter that she obviously wants to buy for her DGS. When children are 2/3/4, they change so quickly, a scooter may not have been on her radar at Christmas, but now it’s getting warmer it’s perfect scootering weather and grandparents love to spoil little ones. I’d find a cheaper, more preschooler friendly scooter and enjoy Easter with her. There’s absolutely no reason why you can’t enjoy Easter your way (church, family, meal etc) and have DS enjoy his new scooter all in the same day!

Let,him have the scooter-burn off all that toddler emergy(sugar fuelled or otherwise)

YANBU. My ds thinks Easter is like a second Xmas due to mil overbuying. Luckily he also accepts that the other grandparents, his aunt and uncle and also his parents just get him an egg or something small.

Shame OP won't allow an egg then?

I think you are using righteous child-rearing as a weapon to get at your MIL.

Childhood goes past really quickly and you’ll soon have a teenager who just wants PS4 games and refuses to leave his room. Make the most of the time he’s keen to go outside and play on a scooter and hunt chocolate eggs in the garden. If he stays up to 10 is that so bad? Sleep is about regular routines and these won’t be significantly damaged by a one off indulgence.

When our children are small it is tempting to be controlling and judgmental. Try not to be. Let you MIL enjoy him. Take the scooter and use it! Encourage her to take him out on it- keep it at her house if he’ll get more use out of it there. Give him some chocolate eggs for the hunt!

OMG you eat the eggs, the kids have a little nibble then forget about them!!!! It's an unwritten rule!! 😂

OP I'm not sure why so many peeole are being so harsh on you. It's your prerogative not to give your DS chocolate... I'm sure he's not missing out. People are acting as though you've said you only allow him 2 meals a day. He's not even in school so won't know any different.

I also agree with you about the scooter. But maybe a compromise is that your MIL keeps the scooter at her house so DS doesn't associate the gift with your family Easter, but instead associates it with grandmotherly indulgence.

“I also agree with you about the scooter. But maybe a compromise is that your MIL keeps the scooter at her house so DS doesn't associate the gift with your family Easter, but instead associates it with grandmotherly indulgence.“

Because everyone knows that a mil is not a member of the family, yes?

maybe a compromise is that your MIL keeps the scooter at her house so DS doesn't associate the gift with your family Easter, but instead associates it with grandmotherly indulgence.

Yes, that should please everyone - you, your MIL, your DS.

I don't think someone buying him a scooter for Easter when he's 2 is going to set some dangerous precedent and make him demand expensive gifts every Easter for the rest of his life. By next year he'll have already forgotten what Easter is.

OP, if you don't let your DS have any extra sugar (aside from what's already in fruit, dairy, bread, etc...) and he's still having problems settling and sleeping, what makes you think it's the sugar that makes him 'high'? Some children are just bloody awful sleeper. And with some other children, there can be other reasons why their brains just can't turn off and allow them to settle. I should know.

If you think this is a genuine and unusual issue, please talk to your GP about getting a referral. I mean this in a very nice and supportive way.

and for heaven's sake, lighten up and let him live a little at Easter! The wretched things are EVERYWHERE at this time of year. I can't imagine being a small child, being surrounded by chocolate easter eggs and knowing I wasn't going to be allowed one.

Is it because it is Easter?

Would it be ok if she just bought him a present because she wanted to and because he is the perfect age and this is the right time of year for a scooter.

Wow OP I cannot believe the pile-on on here. People are talking as if protecting your child from tooth decay, obesity and diabetes was some form of abuse!

FWIW we never had a chocolate egg from my parents when we were growing up although we did get plenty from other people: for one thing my parents were extremely careful with money (mostly because they didn’t have much, but also because they preferred to save the little they did have for something special we’d actually remember). My mum was also pretty ahead of her time in being very clued-up on the dangers of sugar and rarely gave us any (although she was relaxed about us getting it from elsewhere). On Easter morning we had boiled eggs coloured by cooking them in food colouring and it was great 😊 (from what I remember there were plenty of fun church activities around that time like building empty grave gardens etc).

Yes, of course I grew up seizing every opportunity to cram sugar in my mouth 😆 Yes, I too still think my mum is ‘the best’ despite having such a deprived childhood 🙄 And no, I am certainly not giving my own toddler a chocolate egg this year - in fact his father who is diabetic is absolutely evangelical about not allowing sugar to cross his lips; I used to be the annoying undisciplined parent who occasionally let him have a little, but had to admit recently that I was in the wrong as toddler was learning to demand sugary treats and get very difficult if we refused, in ways that he just doesn’t with snacks like Babybels or raisins for instance.

Totally see why you want to avoid giving your child addictive substances ‘just because it’s Easter’.

In the nicest possible way I think you are micro-managing and over-controlling - your MIL. I understand, because I was the same. But time to relax a little.

I didn't give my kids chocolate eggs until they were old enough to realise they weren't getting chocolate eggs (which was much older than 2!). Didn't see the point of giving them any chocolate at that age tbh. You can't miss what you've never had and don't know exists, after all!

Stop being so anal and over-thinking everything!

You are sucking the joy out of being a grandparent for your MIL.

What is your own mother getting him (if she is around?)?

Grandparents are supposed to spoil grandchildren and let them have the unsuitable things their spoilsport parents won't let them have!!

We've always done presents in my family, ever since I was a child. Far better to get something like a good quality scooter that he will get at least several years of use out of (and can then be passed to someone else), than something which is gone in a day or two. DS is actually getting a scooter this year (grown out of his little toddler one) and a chocolate bunny.