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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - to think this is too much?

255 replies

Harveyrabbit76 · 15/04/2019 14:58

My MIL has offered to buy my DS (nearly 3) a micro scooter (about £60)for Easter as I don't let him have easter eggs (obviously they are comparable?! :-)). AIBU to have said no as I think its too much money and missing the point of Easter? I grew up going to church on Easter Sunday and maybe having a couple of chocolate eggs.
Easter for me is more about being with family having a meal with maybe an easter egg hunt (plastic ones or something similar), not making it into Christmas part 2.

I know I have probably hurt MIL's feelings but I have said this would be a very generous gift for his birthday in August. What do you think?

OP posts:
BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 15/04/2019 17:13

Your son has a grandmother who wants to buy him a lovely gift. A scooter isn’t really “inappropriate”, I can think of lots of inappropriate gifts but a scooter isn’t one of them. My DCs have never had gifts from anyone other than us (his parents) at Easter or birthdays and maybe a fiver in a card from one of their grandfathers at Christmas. Your son is lucky. .... let him experience that pleasure.

lalafafa · 15/04/2019 17:13

You do realise when your son is old enough, and left on his own for a while, at a kids party for example, he will gorge himself on what you’re denying him?
I’ve seen it happen loads of times and it’s sad to see. Stuffing their faces with sweet stuff as they’re not allowed any.

minababelina · 15/04/2019 17:16

It feels you are being a bit controlling... who says what Easter is about? I wonder if your DH agrees with you... I would definitely let MIL get the scooter.

Slippingcareer · 15/04/2019 17:17

@Harveyrabbit76 I’m stunned that you’re getting such a hard time on this. I never bought my nieces and nephews Easter eggs as they always got a ridiculous amount.

It’s up to you whether your child gets the scooter or not, but if your MIL can afford it and you think your child would like it, I’d be inclined to let her buy it.

If you really don’t want the scooter, tell her that he would really like x,y or z instead for Easter and perhaps save the scooter for his birthday.

sleepismysuperpower1 · 15/04/2019 17:19

Op, while i dont entirely agree with you not allowing a little chocolate, this is completely your choice. there are sugar free easter eggs such as this one which might be a nice treat {although im not sure how it tastes}

Thesearmsofmine · 15/04/2019 17:19

Weird thread. Why is a scooter an inappropriate gift but a hobby horse is fine? At two years old they have no idea about costs.

IceRebel · 15/04/2019 17:22

its about a very expensive inappropriate gift.

The cost is irrelevant as you're not being asked to buy it.

It's not inappropriate, it's an age appropriate gift.

At the very core of this, you're denying your son a gift which will provide hours of fun and enjoyment for no valid reason. Confused

Whitechocandraspberry · 15/04/2019 17:25

Agree with ice rebel.

Can I give your kid a choc egg for Easter? No I don’t let him eat chocolate

Okay I have seen a marvellous little scooter for him. Is that okay?
No it’s not.

It’s £60 not £600. What’s the problem???!!!

Whitechocandraspberry · 15/04/2019 17:26

If I want to get my grandchild a scooter for £60 I’m not going to be checking in advance if that’s okay

RubyRoseViolet · 15/04/2019 17:28

I had a MIL who used to go absolutely bonkers with presents so I can relate somewhat (believe it or not she actually bought Dd pets without asking us first and the most extreme gifts she bought were so unbelievable people will think I’m making it up!). Anyway, I understand the sense of not wanting your child to be absolutely snowed under with stuff all year round but, I’m telling you this with kindness, a scooter is a brilliant gift and is 100 times more exciting than an Easter egg. I’d let her do it, it’s a lovely present and he will get masses of use out of it.

bridgetreilly · 15/04/2019 17:28

Well, I'm with you OP. I don't think every event has to be an opportunity for presents. He can have a scooter for his birthday, and if she really wants to give him something on Sunday, a small book or toy is fine.

MrsJBaptiste · 15/04/2019 17:28

It's really hard when you want to treat your family and they're dead against it. I went out with my brother and my nieces at the weekend and they're so strict about treats. I'd love to spoil them when I see them (once every few months) with an ice cream, Easter eggs, etc. but it's frowned on so much by my brother and SIL that I've stopped bothering.

However when they come here for a sleeopover, nobody knows what goes on! 😉

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 15/04/2019 17:36

Just accept the scooter and be grateful.

BabyItsAWildWorld · 15/04/2019 17:38

FGS just let his Grandma spoil him a bit. Let her get him an egg and the scooter if it brings them both a bit joy.

What are you worried will happen??

You sound like a PITA I'm afraid.

RightYesButNo · 15/04/2019 17:40

As for the scooter, I’m not sure I understand - first, it was too much money, then it was because it’s not the meaning of Easter (but your son is 3? I’m not sure the meaning of Easter is sinking in yet?), now it’s that you have no pavements rurally, so it won’t be much use around his birthday then anyway? I’m trying to say this kindly but it seems like you’re trying to control for a lot of things. Maybe just let it go? I’d let her spend her money if she wants UNLESS you think your son wouldn’t use it, in which case, tell her that politely and then no worries. Generally, I also agree with @icerebel.

About the Easter eggs... I’d love to see this myth put to rest. Sugar does not make children hyper, as many PP have pointed out. A double-blind study all the way back in 1994 proved that. Here’s an interesting fact, though: another study showed if parents THOUGHT their children had been given sugar, when in fact the child received a placebo, they were more likely to claim their child was hyperactive from “the sugar.” Here’s a source with link to both studies: www.sciencenews.org/blog/growth-curve/sugar-doesn’t-make-kids-hyper-and-other-parenting-myths Give your son an Easter egg or don’t, but don’t make the choice based on something that’s just not true. Of course you want the best for your DS, OP; the problem is I suspect @lalafafa may be correct and if you deny him all sugar, he’ll just gorge himself at birthday parties or with his pocket money when the time comes.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 15/04/2019 17:44

I do get where you’re coming from OP, but I think a small egg and / or the scooter (even if it’s dressed up as “something new for spring”) isn’t an inappropriate gift. £60 is one of those amounts which could be an awful lot for some people, and really not to others; but money is utterly meaningless to toddlers anyway. I think you can still celebrate the religious aspect of Easter and still enjoy the fun stuff (even our church is organising a chocolate egg hunt on Easter Sunday!)

colditz · 15/04/2019 17:50

Give him as much chocolate as you think he could possibly consume in one go. Wake him at 6 am Easter morning. Let him eat the lot. He will either throw up or have a lot of energy for a few hours. What WON'T happen (because it is a biological impossibility) is that he will still be hyper that evening.

I know you think you're doing what is best for him, but you're actually not. You're shitting on his childhood.

DesertSky · 15/04/2019 17:52

OP we always celebrate Easter going to church and having family over so it is a special occasion for us, however we do have a chocolate egg hunt for the kids. Even if they do have a sugar rush, it’s only once a year and they are children. I don’t understand why as a special treat a chocolate egg would be denied - unless severe allergy etc!
Re the scooter I can see the logic as it’s approaching Summer and your son could get a lot of use out of it. 3 year olds love scooters and it’s a great way for them to be active. Even if you don’t have pavements near you, there’s bound to be a park or somewhere suitable you could take him to. Sorry but I think you’re being a bit of a killjoy. Blush

FlyingMonkeys · 15/04/2019 17:54

Maybe she can give him a nice hard boiled egg instead...

LilQueenie · 15/04/2019 17:56

get a vegan sugar free egg.

caughtinanet · 15/04/2019 17:58

I totally agree with you about the present, if you don't want him to have one your MIL should abide by your wished but your views on sugar/hyper behaviour are debunked nonsense which ime I find only ever seems ro be spouted by a particular sort of middle class yummy mummy. Read the science, I'm not saying you should let your child have sweets if you don't want to, that's a valid choice but don't use fake science as a reason.

eggsandwich · 15/04/2019 18:01

Believe me as a parent of a young adult who is Autistic and with other complex needs, I suspect you really don’t know what it like to have a child thats really hyper 24 hours a day, come round to my house and give your ds a little bit of chocolate and see my ds without any chocolate you’ll soon change your thinking on this issue.

Just think of him at school when the children talk about what easter eggs they got and he said I didn’t get any, how sad is that its like Christmas without any presents.

Just get the small buttons one, it doesn’t have to be huge and I suspect you’ll share it with him.

Bambamber · 15/04/2019 18:08

If you're dead set against chocolate, you can get moulds and make your own Easter eggs. I use yogurt with blended fruits to make my own eggs, which all my family enjoy.

I then of course use the smaller moulds to make my own creme eggs which also go down a treat Grin

yikesanotherbooboo · 15/04/2019 18:12

Personally I think you should let your parent make there own choices re presents.
Obviously allergy has to be respected.

CalleighDoodle · 15/04/2019 18:29

my ds didnt like chocolate when he was younger, so we started to do small presents at easter. their easter budget is £50 for a present, and they get two eggs. Doesnt mean we dont also go to mass on easter sunday, just like christmas day. they know what easter is about and have been annoyingly singing easter hymns all week.

let them buy the scooter.