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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - to think this is too much?

255 replies

Harveyrabbit76 · 15/04/2019 14:58

My MIL has offered to buy my DS (nearly 3) a micro scooter (about £60)for Easter as I don't let him have easter eggs (obviously they are comparable?! :-)). AIBU to have said no as I think its too much money and missing the point of Easter? I grew up going to church on Easter Sunday and maybe having a couple of chocolate eggs.
Easter for me is more about being with family having a meal with maybe an easter egg hunt (plastic ones or something similar), not making it into Christmas part 2.

I know I have probably hurt MIL's feelings but I have said this would be a very generous gift for his birthday in August. What do you think?

OP posts:
Cryalot2 · 16/04/2019 22:07

It depends on how you celebrate Easter.
What does it mean ? Is it just about family and friends?

The reason that it exists is biblical. The egg is symbolic of the stone which was rolled away.
Ok the wee lad may not know such.
But given the true meaning of Easter most people have an egg.
Your choice of course, you do get a variety of eggs and gran was only trying to treat .
A little chocolate now and again is not the end of things.
We as kids rarely got chocolate or treats, now like many we make up for it by over indulging .

Fififerry1 · 16/04/2019 22:30

My PiL used to drive me mad by the amount of Easter Eggs they gave my children. Literally a massive bag each. I had to hide/ration/give away/eat myself for weeks. I bit my tongue because they loved my children and were excited to show it. They are both now dead but my children still talk about the Easter chocolate deluge. Looking back I am so glad I didn’t give into my WTF instincts that first Easter.

Tubs11 · 16/04/2019 22:39

If it were me I'd let MIL buy him the Easter egg and you can ration his consumption. Tiny piece and distract him with an activity if needs be or if he's like any other kid I know it's the thrill of the hunt they love not the actual chocolate, same with Halloween. Parents inevitably end up eating the chocolate anyway. Plastic eggs are a big no no unless you plan to full them with toys and reuse them for years to come. Have to agree with most loosen the reigns a bit, makes parenting a whole lot easier.

youknowmedontyou · 16/04/2019 23:02

Wow OP I cannot believe the pile-on on here. People are talking as if protecting your child from tooth decay, obesity and diabetes was some form of abuse!

All from one small egg once a year...... OP said nothing about MIL regularly giving the child chocolate or sweets!

Catsinthecupboard · 16/04/2019 23:32

Easter is a wonderful time to give children a scooter or bike or anything that is fun and encourages them to go outside and play.

We gave/give them candy, but it's the toys that they like best. Usually it's required that I make them fit in a basket. But outdoor toys are exceptions.

How religious are we that a good toy is detracting from the meaning of Easter?

We used Easter as a good excuse to get ready for summer replacements, i.e., outgrown bikes, scooters, etc.

I think God is fine with happy and healthy children having fun.

Devilrocknroller · 16/04/2019 23:57

They have done studies to show that sugar has no effect on a child’s energy levels..... just sayin’

nutsfornutella · 17/04/2019 00:07

Yanbu to prefer no chocolate. It doesn't matter why (although at his age it will be very unusual)

Yabu with regards to MIL getting a gift. She probably feels Confused buying gifts for other grandchildren but not your son. There's lots of Easter craft kits and cuddly toys in the shops if you prefer that?

Is ds your oldest? It's very common with kids his age to buy toys twice a year. Xmas is self explanatory but April is perfect for buying outdoor toys. If summer is good then it might still be hot in August but if it's a washout year, outdoor toys might not be used past July so buying outdoor toys for his birthday will be a downer. Micro scooters are fab and he's the perfect age to learn. If there's no pavements near your house (assuming no driveway either), you could drive to a park with paths.

flowergrrl77 · 17/04/2019 08:04

OP, hope you don’t mind, I’m gonna talk about sleep instead,

With 2 of my kids, they take melatonin (prescribed) to sleep. Even then their sleep isn’t great, but it’s better than without.

I’m not saying to medicate, but maybe it’s worth talking to a sleep clinic?

Make a diary.

I’ll assume you do all the recommendations? Like a set bedtime routine, like reduced stimuli for at least 30 mins before.

My 2 that take prescribed melatonin are both autistic, they also have microcephaly which is linked to low natural melatonin levels so the tablets are more to do with bringing them back to the lvl they’re supposed to have!

Good luck xx

LabradorMama · 17/04/2019 09:25

I kind of get where you’re coming from. I didn’t let my son have much chocolate at that age - he did get eggs from grandparents but he had a bit and I snaffled the rest! Two year olds shouldn’t be having excessive amounts of sugar, I worry about his teeth.
Personally I don’t like how we seem to have to go a bundle on everything these days. Easter used to be a few eggs from relatives - now it’s gone crazy with cards, decorations, gift bags, masses of chocolate, sweets, Easter egg hunts etc. Same with Christmas - we now have elf on the bloody shelf, Christmas Eve boxes etc. Halloween has got ridiculous too. And we wonder why so many kids are so spoilt and entitled and think they have a right to all this shit.
I try to keep it to a minimum as my son easily gets carried away and has no idea that he should be grateful for these types of things that I see as a ‘treat’ - it’s hard though when everyone else buys right into it and I feel like he is missing out.
In your situation I’d let her get him a small egg and some kind of Easter themed crafting stuff that they can do together. I’m with you, £60 is a birthday or Christmas present

LabradorMama · 17/04/2019 09:28

And ref sugar - it has the same effect on my son, though it’s possibly the additives/e numbers/preservatives/other chemical crap in sweets rather than actual sugar

LabradorMama · 17/04/2019 09:28

dons tin hat

SleepingStandingUp · 17/04/2019 09:32

@Harveyrabbit76 there's nothing wring with having a chocolate free Easter. And agree saying no to a £1 egg and yes to a & 60 scooter seems a little off. He's two, what's wrong with a nice book or a fluffy bunny or similar?
However the fact that you're buying him ad hoc expensive gifts but if MIL does it for Easter it isn't inappropriate does make it seem the problem is with HER not the purchase

moon2 · 17/04/2019 10:11

I agree with OP. Stick to your values. You don’t have to bend to the commercial materialistic machine just because others want to. Suggest an Easter hat kit or Easter egg decorating from Hobbycraft or somewhere which is more in the spirit of the holiday. Keep the bike for his birthday he won’t suffer waiting a few months. Otherwise you and everyone will be saddled with ‘where’s my present?’ every Easter. Glum faces and tantrums possibly. We’ve cut out chocolate for health reasons too. What’s the point in a week of migraines, spots, rashes and huge weight gain. The amount of Easter eggs my daughter will munch through surreptitiously. She has no limit!

moon2 · 17/04/2019 10:18

You could compromise with MIL though and say granny is giving you your birthday present early for Spring so you can enjoy it in the good weather and all summer. Then make an agreement with her if you feel the need that on his birthday if she insists on another gift it’s something small. You can only hope, you can’t write the law all the time with grandparents, they do just want to spoil the kids all the time.

CSIblonde · 17/04/2019 10:20

From experience, chocolate was strictly limited when I was growing up, to the extent I'm still bloody obsessed with it, as its got forbidden fruit connotations still. No egg & no scooter is a bit rough. A scooter isn't a huge gift & there are cheaper ones. Or, a small egg won't kill him, or make 'bad' food an ongoing issue.

TooManyAprilShowers · 17/04/2019 10:22

Please dont hide plastic eggs for him to find. There is no fun in that.

Give him a fucking egg

Rach182 · 17/04/2019 10:29

Please dont hide plastic eggs for him to find. There is no fun in that.

Give him a fucking egg*

Actually my two year old had an Easter egg hunt at nursery last week and came home with a crappy plastic yellow egg with 2 chicks inside. He hasn't stopped playing with them or going on about it even though the legs have fallen off the chicks.

I think you forget what 2 year olds actually enjoy- they have low standards and no point of reference which means pretty much anything can be fun as long as you make it an experience for them.

NunoGoncalves · 17/04/2019 11:03

I think you forget what 2 year olds actually enjoy

Agreed. My memories of Easter even as an older kid are all about the egg hunt. It was so fun! The chocolate was nice too but not exactly anything special.

LimeKiwi · 17/04/2019 20:20

I think you forget what 2 year olds enjoy

Absolutely agree with this! I've two, bit older than toddler now, and they both LOVED egg hunts!
I did too. It's great fun. Doesn't have to be chocolate at all, they still really love it.
Think some adults get hung up on "aw, poor deprived child" if they don't see them eating chocolate.
My eldest was like that and still is with drinks, only wants water.
Some batshit meddlers "aw, don't be so mean, give him some juice."
Even when older and can ask for his own, people are amazed and do the Mrs Doyle act on the poor sod.
"Ah, g'wan g'wan, are you sure you don't want a juice/cola etc?"
How he keeps his cool and doesn't say "no I bloody don't, how many times do I have to tell you FFS?!" is beyond me lol.
Anyway my point is as a toddler it was me who should "just give him a bloody juice."
Some people can't help themselves and think they know better.

LovelyIssues · 17/04/2019 20:34

Far too much just for Easter, birthday maybe. Let him have a little egg Wink

Motherontheedge1 · 17/04/2019 23:49

Saw a Real Meaning of Easter Easter Egg yesterday. Think it was in Morrisons. Might have been Tesco. I didn’t look at it closely but you might like to consider it.

GrandTheftWalrus · 18/04/2019 00:38

My 2.5 year old will get one of the kinder Easter things. Its not an egg but comes with the small bars and a soft toy. Shes already got 3 of them so one more wont hurt her collection.

However shes only been given the bunny at her 1st Easter etc.

I dont agree with Easter meaning big presents etc like Christmas I wasnt brought up like that and she wont be.

But not allowing him some chocolate on the day that basically everyone gets chocolate is a bit mean.

I know you said he wont sleep till 10pm. But a small square shouldn't make a difference?

llangennith · 18/04/2019 01:04

I'm so glad my DIL is a lovely woman. I bought DGS a scooter for Easter when he was 3 (November birthday): she was very appreciative and he loved it. Why do some people make such an issue out of these things?

LagunaBubbles · 18/04/2019 01:13

I don't understand attitudes like yours OP, all it succeeds in doing is causing more problems in the long term. You can't control what other people but your children.

Aprillygirl · 18/04/2019 08:42

I'm so glad my DIL is a lovely woman. I bought DGS a scooter for Easter when he was 3 (November birthday): she was very appreciative and he loved it. Why do some people make such an issue out of these things?

I'd be delighted if my ex MIL (who I've always got on fine with & still have nothing at all against) sent as much as a card on my kids' birthdays,let alone anything at Easter. Some people are so ungrateful and just don't know how lucky they are!