To want to clear the air with park mum

[Napqueen1234]

Long story short I live in a small town where I recognise lots of parents at the local park (see them there regularly etc not friends)

2 weeks ago this little boy around 3 who I see often (particularly boisterous even for a toddler, very pushy with a v ineffective mum) got in a bit of a bargy with my dad (nearly 2). She was about to go down a slide, he grabbed her v roughly and shoved her out the way for him to go. She shouted ‘no my turn’ or similar as he stood her up and he then pushed her backwards down the slide. Cue a lot of tears from DD and general drama.

His mum (v middle class usually sipping coffee) did come over but not sure if she didn’t see but was just very ‘oh dear what happened’ no telling off whatsoever. I was horrified as poor DD could have been really hurt. I said too quite loudly ‘come on DD let’s get away from that horrible little boy’ and left the park. His mum definitely heard.

I now feel bad and often see and avoid them in the park but would like to apologise or at least clear the air so we don’t have years of awkwardness ahead. What shall I say?

You shouldn't have called the 3 year old a horrible little boy.

You sound extremely judgemental and your comment was out of order. Maybe she didn’t see it happen. I think you should apologise to her, not the other way round.

ihatehashtags I have never said I want or expect her to apologise (my whole question is about how I could apologise to her/her son) I just wondered/ hoped she may approach me about it as that’s what I would have done if the situation had been flipped.

@Biancadelrioisback children aged 3+ are not toddlers.

The Op said she did speak to the mother and said her son had pushed her dd down the slide. The mother then pathetically whimpered something to her son and completely failed to 1. Correct his behaviour 2. Get him to apologise 3. Check the 2 yo girl was actually alright!!

It's no wonder people don't give two shits about anyone else anymore if Mumsnet is typical of today's parents ffs.

I have a lot of experience with young children and this boys behaviour is not typical for his age. It was nasty and should have been corrected.

Don't approach the other mum. She needs to watch her child more so that this sort of thing doesn't keep happening and he faces far worse than being called a name next time he behaves so badly.

The idea of apologising to someone who hurt my child, or whose child hurt mine, is ridiculous. You should have told her what happened at the time as she needed to apologise to you for letting her child hurt yours.

Just revisiting old posts I’ve written on @weepingwillow

Hilarious the posters that judged you for “over reacting” but yet are on mumsnet vilifying you for a very minor mistake.

You’re obviously a lovely person, on mumsnet, reflecting and seeking advice on what happened, caring enough to set things right, to be better at the tricky minefield that is socialising with other mums

Pm me anytime you want non judgmental chat or advice.

Why would you apologise to the mother of a toddler who hurt your DD and did feck all about it? He was a little bully and it won't traumatise him to hear someone actually pointing it out, instead of being a limp lettuce.

I think many posters are hard on OP. Looking after children is hard work and her child was smaller that the other (more constant looking after). What if OP is knackered too?!? Whilst it is of course bad to be rude to the boy, the obviously boisterous boy was fairly unsupervised in the play ground.

I would never let my children get away with that behaviour. I am very far from perfect, believe me, but I am always worried that any child will get hurt. The other day I was at a bouncy castle play ground, thought I could relax a bit, but then saw my 6 and 8 year old DCs starting to play with a 1-2 year old. I rushed over as they were very likely to lift the toddler, help her up to a bouncy castle or accidentally push her over. I made it a few moments before the mum who was very grateful. My DCs spent about 15min playing with the toddler, they were very excited and tried (successfully) to be very gentle, but I would never take the risk of them unintentionally hurt a small child.

Thanks to the couple of new responses to this that appeared today! I had forgotten to update this but you reminded me.

The day after I posted I bumped into the mum again and as some of you suggested just smiled and said something vague about the nice weather. We then got chatting and I took the opportunity to say listen I am so sorry about what I said, didn’t mean it, out of order etc.

The mum said she was so glad I’d spoken to her, was v apologetic for her sons behaviour and said his aggression has led to her feeling quite isolated on the playgroup as many people had been MUCH ruder in the past. We talked, swapped numbers and are going to try and meet up more regularly (albeit very well supervised in case of any more incidents).

I suppose I just wanted to say that she did care and it meant a lot to her that I apologised and I feel better about it too. So for anyone in this situation I’d highly recommend clearing the air!

Well done OP. You sound lovely.

Kudos to you. You are a much nicer person than Iand that was a lovely update.

That's great - a really positive outcome.