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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Potty training, 2.5 hours and 3 floor wees in... Give me strength

89 replies

SleepingStandingUp · 15/04/2019 11:10

He keeps asking for his nappy, doesn't tell me he needs a wee and cries when I park his weeing self on the potty.

Absolutely no interest in sitting on it despite promises of a Happy Meal!

Aibu to ask what your first day's were like to reassure me we're going to get it this week??

OP posts:

StarlingsEverywhere · 15/04/2019 11:12

How old is he? Sounds like he's maybe not quite ready yet?

snarfblatt · 15/04/2019 11:13

We still haven't cracked even one successful day at 3yrs 3 months. I hate it and am tempted to sell the child and replace with a cat.

But hopefully it'll go better for you! Everyone but us seems to be able to do it

StarlingsEverywhere · 15/04/2019 11:14

DS was like this, compltely uninterested, actively fought not to sit on the potty, got upset at the very suggestion. We left it a couple of monhts and when we tried again, he cracked it straight away, no accidents or issues.

SimonJT · 15/04/2019 11:14

I’m also in toilet training hell, genuinely thinking of returning him and getting a refund.

Mari50 · 15/04/2019 11:15

I’ll up your 3 wees to 5 in two hours- it was at this point I decided my dd must have an undiagnosed uti and gave up. When we tried again 2 months later it went like a dream..

Daffodils07 · 15/04/2019 11:16

I would leave it, if he isn't happy he isn't going to do it and your both just end up getting stressed.
My dd wasnt interested until just before the age of 3 and we have had no accidents in the 2 months since.
Give him a bit more time, he will get there but it needs to be when he is ready.

SheldonSaysSo · 15/04/2019 11:17

He may not be ready but I would persevere for today and maybe tomorrow. If you are still having big issues with him not wanting to engage then maybe leave it for a few weeks and try again.

Could you try an instant reward for sitting on the potty? A sticker or something more coveted if needs be. The Happy Meal might be too long term for him to connect with sitting on the potty.

sola82 · 15/04/2019 11:19

When I potty trained DS after he had just turned 3 he had 20+ wees on the floor the first day. It got a lot better quickly though. However he wasn't upset by it, how old is your DS? Maybe he's not quite ready?

Original poster

SleepingStandingUp · 15/04/2019 11:21

This is why I left age off the first post.

He's 4 end of May

OP posts:

jaseyraex · 15/04/2019 11:23

DS1 hated the potty. Have you tried going straight to the toilet?

Iflippinghateplaydoh · 15/04/2019 11:23

How old?
Day 1 with ds last year was a nightmare (He was 2y 5m). We'd made the decision to persevere regardless.
He weed on the floor every 20mins or so. Not one successful wee on the potty.
Day 2 morning was much the same. Afternoon I popped to the shop only to receive a pic off dh showing ds next to a wee in the potty!
We praised so much he kept trying then and by day 4 it was totally cracked. Can count on 1 hand How many accidents since.
My tips are to make your own sticker chart (Ds loved this. I drew a snake and he coloured it and we stuck to living room wall ). We offered 1 smartie for every wee and 3 for a poo. Gradually phased them out as we were going along and he didn't notice. Once snake was full of stickers we went to the toy shop and he chose a toy.
We didn't get outwardly annoyed at accidents, just a lot of "oops,no sticker this time!"
Also I think it's really important to not go back to nappies as a barrier. My friends who's ds1 was the same age kept putting her in nappy every time they went out in case she had an accident so training took around 4 months. Once they agreed to stop with the nappies and accept the week or so of accidents she cracked it.
Good luck

Original poster

SleepingStandingUp · 15/04/2019 11:25

He has some language delay - huge leaps since Dec but still significantly behind.

I took nappy off at 8.30 and he did one not long after, then another about 9.15 then I put him on his milk (tube fed 120 ml 3 times a day) thinking he'd wee at the end and he wee'd half way through.

He never tells me when he's wet or dirty.

I get told "I'm a bit little" which obvs I tell him no, he's a big boy etc, and "I can't do it!" after 2 seconds of sitting.

Oh god he's gonna poo on the floor next :(

Just got him to sit for a few minutes as I have preemptive trumps that indicating an advancing poo lol but no action

I wonder if a larger potty would help?

OP posts:

Eastie77 · 15/04/2019 11:26

We had to crack on with potty training DS (3) last Christmas as he was starting pre-school nursery in January and they do not take children in nappies. On the first day of training I think there were about a dozen accidents. Second day I braved a trip to a museum with a bag stuffed with spare clothes and there were 4 or 5 accidents. Day 4 none and we haven't looked back. He didn't really seem to be motivated by rewards, he just got it when he was ready. What threw me was he'd wet himself and happily continue playing without telling me. DD used to scream blue murder if she was wet

Original poster

SleepingStandingUp · 15/04/2019 11:26

I have to go to the docs later. Worried if I don't nappy him he'll just wee and it'll drip out the buggy onto the doctors floor

OP posts:

BelleSausage · 15/04/2019 11:28

Sticker chart (or chocolate buttons) is a great suggestion. They really helped DD.

A couple of days at home, without pants, helps them realise they are wetting.

We did this first with DD and it went terribly. Then we used potty training pull ups for a bit and sometimes pants. Persevere. He will get it but he needs to get used to associating the wetness with what he’s doing. Good luck.

MyDcAreMarvel · 15/04/2019 11:28

He is clearly not ready. Wait until he is , it’s not fair on either of you.

gotmychocolateimgood · 15/04/2019 11:29

My DD's first day of potty training was just like this. By the afternoon she had cracked it. 2 years 2 months. Dry at night within the week.
DS however was over 3 when we started and found it much harder. He just wasn't ready at 2. They are all different.

Liveinthepresent · 15/04/2019 11:30

I found these very helpful - catch the worst of it but child still feels wet ...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dry-Like-Me-Early-Training/dp/B00DSM45AS/ref=asc dff_B00DSM45AS/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309990490538&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1552490714425214509&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007154&hvtargid=pla-563826903528&psc=1&th=1&psc=1

You can get them in supermarkets not just Amazon.

Good luck .

WalterIris · 15/04/2019 11:31

I would go straight to using a toilet with a step.

Then full on bribery

Every 15 mins, get him to sit in the toilet. One chocolate button for trying. 2 chocolate buttons for an actual wee. Get him a sticker chart. he also gets a sticker every time he wees. 10 stickers = small extra bribery ie new magazine, extra toys figure he wants.
Once he cracks the every 15 mins thing and actual wees sometimes, increase the time to every 20mins, then 30mins, 1 hr etc

BelleSausage · 15/04/2019 11:33

Also, book on the potty. Or even an episode of something. Just get them to sit for enough time to successfully do something. Then big rewards.

Have you got a potty book about toilet training to read to him?

Original poster

SleepingStandingUp · 15/04/2019 11:33

Ah they look good.
I have some like pants that are Terry loth, ideal for catching the dribble when they're not quite trained. I wonder if they would work for now but was hoping if I could see the wee I could park his butt.

He has such little wee's!

OP posts:

BeautyWasTheBeast · 15/04/2019 11:33

Don't forget lots of praise just for sitting on the potty.

A bigger potty or going straight to a toilet seat may help, the normal potties are usually quite small.

We chose a plain potty and let DC decorate with stickers to make it their special potty.

Kokeshi123 · 15/04/2019 11:35

"He is clearly not ready. Wait until he is , it’s not fair on either of you."

He's almost 4--how much longer is the OP supposed to wait?

ScreamingLadySutch · 15/04/2019 11:36

He is not ready yet, don't push it. Nobody has ever been asked, in the history of the world,

'how old were you when you came out of nappies?' in a job interview.

It is not important. Leave it for a bit, OP. Boys 'get it' later than girls, DS1 was nearly 3 1/2 and it was done in a day.

DS2 had to visit a urologist because he was still wetting his bed at 6. (what he said: no fluids after 5, put him on the loo when you go to bed).

He is now a beautiful young man who cares what happened when he was a little boy.

shoofly · 15/04/2019 11:37

I honestly get why you want to crack this as he's nearly 4. But from what you're saying he isn't ready. He doesn't tell you when he's soiled. You've mentioned a significant speech delay and that he's tube fed. Have you asked parents in a similar situation. I know that there's pressure to get children out of nappies and achieve all of the same milestones but it's possibly putting too much stress on him and you.

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