Potty training, 2.5 hours and 3 floor wees in... Give me strength

[SleepingStandingUp]

He keeps asking for his nappy, doesn't tell me he needs a wee and cries when I park his weeing self on the potty.

Absolutely no interest in sitting on it despite promises of a Happy Meal!

Aibu to ask what your first day's were like to reassure me we're going to get it this week??

I was going to say wait until he's ready but presumably he's off to school in 4 months. I'd use a lot of bribery, chocolate and toys. Good luck!

DS was nearly 4 before he was ready - but then he cracked it so quickly, without any accidents. He's also completely dry at night too, he's never once wet the bed. In fact, weirdly he'd been dry almost a year at night befre he was trained during the day. Not all kids are ready at 2 or even 3!

he does sound like he is not ready..... if he's had some delay then this can have a knock on affect in lots of areas!

some kids really dont like potties...so i know some have had success with this sort of toilet seat and step =if he's only slight you may have to hold onto him at first and sitting down for everything!

www.victorianplumbing.co.uk/wirquin-family-soft-close-toilet-seat?campaign=googlebase&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpI-_6_LR4QIVCLXtCh3D4QgDEAQYAiABEgJmGfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

when i looked after a few kids I had something like this as was easier to take off and completely clean...

www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/prince-lionheart-weepod-toilet-trainer-d4068.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpI-_6_LR4QIVCLXtCh3D4QgDEAQYBCABEgKLofD_BwE

or this
www.amazon.co.uk/FIRST-STEPS-SOFT-TOILET-SEAT/dp/B00LUNZ9E8/ref=asc_df_B00LUNZ9E8/?hvlocphy=1006609&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310175548777&hvpone&hvlocint&hvpos=1o5&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-680798901081&hvrand=18170637460731876541

have a look at ERIC www.eric.org.uk/
they are fab really helpful...

i did the button approach as above but if he's tube feed could do stickers/marbles in a jar rewards instead.....but if he doesn't get the message that tells him his bladders full yet then you will just have to do time him and go every xmins until he does....

Stop. Wait 2 weeks. Try again. Potty training is not worth a moment’s stress for anyone or a single wet carpet. “OK-here’s your nappy-we’ll try again in a little while when you’re a bit older”

Does he start to wee when he's standing up? Boys sometimes like to wee in a potty when standing.

If he's happy running about with a bare bum, it's quite straightforward to slide the potty under the stream of wee as they start.

Ok, so I've just seen you've said he's also nearly 4. But if he has a speech delay etc, that is going to make it harder. I think, if his speech has imporved a lot since Christmas, I'd wait a little bit longer to see if he continues to catch up, and try again in a months or so. Is there any big toy that he'd like, that you can build up to with a sticker chart?

day1 with DD was miserable. literally one of the worst days of parenting I have ever had. I lost count of the wee's and actually cried when she wandered into the kitchen and said "look mummy, big poo" which I then had go and search for (it was behind the sofa).

day 2 - 3 wee's, day 3 - 1 wee.

day 4 - dry.

do persevere for a few days and see if gets better. its fucking miserable though. for you

Definitely reward for sitting on potty with a book, story, small toy, or episode of favourite programme. Buttons or smarties or carrot sticks or stickers for producing weeks or poos. If you have to take him out put a towel underneath him in the buggy?
Also, sometimes they don't want to be 'big', so maybe try to think of something he wants/wants to do that only 'bigger' children can. It can either be a reward if you use a sticker chart or something you introduce to help his confidence.
And sometimes they're just not ready and after a few days you decide to postpone until the summer.

i did the button approach as above but if he's tube feed trust me, he still eats buttons 😁

Had the seat for the loo but they don't seem to fit properly.

Friends who's kids are also tube fed have more significant delays in learning so it's a totally different scenario. I dint actually know anyone like us - he's my little triangle in a world of squares and circles

Happy bare bummed except asking for nappy but he only wees for a second or two. I get to him and he's stopped! I clearly don't have the reflexes for this!!

Also, could you get him to sit on potty while tube-feeding if it's going straight through? You might get a better idea then if he can recognise that he is weeing?

School are great and will accept him in nappies as he has an EHCP and a 121

Seconding the suggestion to let him wee standing up, into the toilet. Can you pop a table tennis ball in there for him to aim at?

Tbf he had a 2p minutes tube feed and a 4 second wee in the middle of it. Def won't sit for that long ANYWHERE let alone on the potty.

I'll try the standing for a wee

Two things:

Could you put a nappy IN the potty? So it's still there, but not attached to him? This might be enough to trick him into an intermediate stage. Also, if you are determined, lots and lots of drinks. He has to 'need' to go to start associating the feelings.

However, from your description he may not be physically ready. If he's weeing for 3-4 seconds every twenty minutes then that sounds like he still has an immature bladder response. Babies pass urine like this, but it should move on before they start potty training and he sounds like he hasn't developed the 'hold' ability yet, where he's storing his urine for a length of time and then going in a 'big' wee, like most of us actually do.

If he can't hold urine at all, then it's never going to work. How often are you changing nappies, and are you getting/have you ever had a point where a fresh one stays dry for any length of time? You need a good 45 mins at least, otherwise he'll never have a sensation of 'needing to go' because there's no fluid building up in his bladder.

I think you need a Zen like approach and to expect lots of weeks everywhere tbh.

I would suggest a more instant bribe reward. With ours I used jelly tots. Every hour Id suggest he have a try "to make room" then if he had a wee he got a sweetie. After a few days I reminded him less and less and let him tell me when he needed the potty. When he got the hang of it we phased the sweets out.

Stop. If school will take in nappies why are you stressing yourself out?

He’s not ready yet, he will be in time but if he’s still free weeing everywhere all the time now is not the moment.

I’m 2 weeks in with DS, he’s much younger at 2.5 but wanted to get him trained becuase he was constantly untucking his willy and getting wee everywhere anyway - I’m afraid it’s still pretty grim.
We’ve found stickers he can stick to the potty or himself help, gold stars, small for a wee and big for a poo. I think the approach of bare bum so you can see is good. At 4 the potty probably is a bit small but for the first few days getting him to the toilet seat quick enough will be hard so if you can get a bigger potty it might be worth a try. Get him on when he starts the wee then try to keep him there, read some books, sing some songs, do colouring etc. Try to get him to relax enough again to do the rest or even just a little bit so you can leap in with stickers and praise!
Puppy pad on the buggy, car seat and sofa.
I hope it goes quicker for you than us. We are trying to follow the ‘oh crap’ potty training book and still haven’t moved on to pants. Worst thing ever is poos in trousers - vile to clear up, I thought he’d got past that then I got one on Friday and one Sunday.

My ds1 was nearly 4.5 when he cracked potty training. He just wasn't ready before. As others have said why push it when you really don't have to?

School are great, in your words, and he has an EHCP and 121.

He has delay and additional needs. I would honestly say leaving it for a bit would take the pressure off you both. I have a 7yo with additional needs who still wears pull ups at night so I know how difficult it is.

Eating buttons is great ....give yourself/him a break sound like he's not ready if he's not stocking enough urine for a big wee :) when he's wee's are more heavy soaks then try again... also the closer to summer the less pita for all the washing!

I was just going to suggest standing and aiming for a ping pong ball, but see tennis ball has already been suggested.

My boys were both just turned two when they stopped nappies. But they did it themselves more or less. They were take their nappies off and say ‘need wee’ and I’d have to run to sit them on the potty. Ds2 didn’t like the potty and would say ‘no daddies toilet’, so we bought one of those toddler seats but he seemed a little too small for it, he fell through the middle but didn’t want anyone holding him ‘go now I wee/poo’. Hence we stood him on a stool and put a ping pong ball in the toilet. We left it there for about a month (as it just floats when you pull the flush!), before realising that he was completely dry and no longer needed it. (Exdp apparently missed it when it was removed as he enjoyed aiming for it🤦‍♀️).

First day, my son (then 3) held onto the wee for around 8 hours. It was a question of who would crack first.

As soon as the wee started coming out he went straight on the potty. That was the routine for probably around a week and then it just clicked.

The first few days are awful but just persevere

My ds was 4.5 yrs -tried six months earlier with no joy. Got it pretty much overnight just that bit later. With delays as described, wouldn’t surprise me if op’s son takes a bit longer again.

@ginnybag Tbh I try and leave nappies onn for longer so he understands he's wet so I'm not sure I know his wee pattern as such. He's not had one since about 10.45 but I guess I'll have to see if he does a big one. I do worry he doesn't get enough fluid as he isn't a great drinker so perhaps that is part of it.

I guess I'm aware with his other issues that it might take more than time. Also I wBted to be able to tell school / nurse etc that we'd tried and X happened. So even if the experiment failed, we'd tried and gained some valuable data about how often, how big etc.

Chocolate buttons all the way - reward needs to be immediate!