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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask why my mother's venom still slips through the cracks?

113 replies

tympanic · 15/04/2019 09:27

My mother just popped in to visit, and as usual it wasn't long before she started making PA comments about my parenting choices, work progression, cleanliness of my house, my appearance, imaginary issues with my son... whatever tickled her fancy.

She has form for being like this, and my siblings and I try to joke about it but her endlessly cold, critical negativity is so damaging. I'm the only daughter and we all agree I cop the brunt of it.

I really only started to realise how damaging it is when I celebrated my first Mother's Day and considered what it all meant. I imagined what sort of mother I wanted to be for my son to make sure he lives as happy a life as I am capable of providing. To help him through the low points and the pride I feel with he achieves his highs. And then I thought about my own mother who I have to avoid when bad or good things happen to me and got deeply, deeply sad.

I'm pretty good at letting it roll off in general, but every so often she finds a wee crack to pour the venom in. She did this today with a targeted comment about how some women find juggling high-profile work, multiple kids, maintaining a house so easily, whereas others (ie me) clearly don't, even when they have "only one child".

She hit a nerve, as she knew she would. I don't understand why after knowing this woman for as long as I have she can still get to me. I understand she's a miserable old boot and will die a miserable old boot, but I wish I could get to a point where it didn't affect me anymore.

Thoughts? Stories? Witty retorts to shut her down with?

OP posts:
IHateUncleJamie · 15/04/2019 16:05

This is interesting if you are unsure whether your mother is a narcissist:

www.willieverbegoodenough.com/narcissistic-mother-survey/

My Counsellor suspects my mother either has Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder (or both). At this stage it doesn’t really matter because whatever is wrong with her, she still deliberately hurt and neglected me and wants “vengeance”. But it’s nice to know we’re not alone in having toxic mothers and that there is a lot of help available these days.

harrietpn · 15/04/2019 16:16

My father is exactly like your Mother. The comments he has made about me you would think I had huge personal failings and I always felt there was something about me he found repulsive. I'm really, really pleased I went to therapy. I no longer care what my dad thinks and it's made me a lot more confident in myself which had been striped away by my dad. I'm a very kind mother but my instinct to protect my son from people like my dad made me feel I had to be perfect which wasn't healthy.

harrietpn · 15/04/2019 16:22

Have just read a bit more of the thread. I've never come up with anything snippy to say to my dad because I know he doesn't really care about us. It's pointless. Everything in viewed through the lense of himself, he will always come first. I know if there was a fire he would push us out of the way to get out. He has put me in physical danger several times. The greatest revenge is finally being happy and having a balanced view of yourself. I'm not NC, I don't need to be because I genuinely don't care anymore.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 15/04/2019 16:26

melroses ooh, I had that. I learned not to be too positive about anyone in front of her! Then she wondered why I was always so muted. It's a puzzler Hmm

StarShapedWindow · 15/04/2019 16:26

This threads so interesting - doesn’t it highlight how all our mothers are so damaged and possibly in many cases suffering from narcism, low self esteem, chronic dissatisfaction with their own lives and probably a whole host of other things. It’s almost impossible for me to feel sympathy for them after their treatment of their own DC.

I wish I’d gone NC when I had the chance (my DF is my mother’s enabler and he’s an utter arsehole a lot of the time), but my mother loves my DC and they adore her.

singingsoprano · 15/04/2019 16:47

I went very low contact with my foster mum over 15 years ago, when my youngest daughter said: "Mummy, why is nanny so horrible to you and Daddy?". I decided that I wasn't going to allow her to carry on with her behaviour and reduced contact dramatically, but was then bombarded with 'phone calls until I told her I would 'phone her once a fortnight on a Friday night. This helped me to cope and I had the support of my DH who she hated from day one, because he could see her for what she was. I visited once every 6 months, until she went into a nursing home and when she was dying visited more often, as she had dementia and couldn't be nasty anymore. It's sad, but ultimately their issue.

MirriVan · 15/04/2019 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justasking111 · 15/04/2019 18:23

It was interesting that my DM did not like my OH nor her two DIL`s that was about control I think. They had her measure very quickly. Adults on the sidelines witnessing day to day stuff do. I do wonder sometimes how she explains to so called friends why all three of her children are NC with her.

Comtesse · 16/04/2019 07:59

OP i saw your update querying if it could affect things with your husband. I’ve found this kind of toxic parenting affects how you feel about yourself, your partner, your children, other wider family members, all sorts. It’s horribly pervasive, gets in everywhere. Your mother has been “programming” you since birth. That is as deep as it gets. You can unpick quite a lot, but it does leave some imprint.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/04/2019 13:18

My heart goes out to you, @tympanic - and all the others on this thread who have been so badly hurt and let down by their mothers. I can empathise because, whilst my mum wasn't openly vicious and poisonous as too many of your mums were, she was emotionally neglectful of me.

I was bullied from the age of 10, when we moved to a small country village, where I simply did not fit in - I didn't have the right accent, hadn't lived there for umpteen generations, and was a quiet, bookish child. I remember going to my mum in tears, when I was being bullied at school, and her response was to tell me that sticks and stones would hurt my bones, but calling names would never hurt me (the bullying was name calling and exclusion), and that I should simply ignore it and it WOULD stop.

I was left feeling that, if the bullying continued (which, of course, it did), it was my fault for not ignoring it well enough, and that there was no point in going back to mum to tell her that the bullying was no better, because I would just be brushed off again. I also felt there was no point going to the teachers at school - after all, if my own mum didn't care enough to help, why would they? And if I had toldl the teachers, and there had been a backlash from the bullies, I was 100% sure that I would get no back up from my mum to deal with it - so I was too scared to tell anyone.

By the age of 14 I was clinically depressed (though I didn't actually realise this until I was in my 40s) - I was having suicidal thoughts - and it has left me with depression, anxiety and low self esteem that still blight my life.

That's not the only example, though it is the worst. She openly favoured my sister - for example, dsis got a £250 oboe for her 18th, I got a £20 clock radio. We had to share bathwater (due to an inadequate water heater) and dsis always went first, so she got the clean, hot water, and I got the cooler grubby water, and had to clean out the bath and tidy the bathroom afterwards too. When I asked if dsis and I could take turns to go first, mum refused point blank. When I asked mum not to smoke in the car, because it made me car sick, she said it was dad's pipe smoke, not her cigarettes, and refused to stop.

I have, on the odd occasion, tried to tell her how she made me feel, when she ignored me and brushed me off, but her attitude is that it was a long time ago, no point discussing it now - in short, I get brushed off again.

She talks about how proud she is that her daughters are her friends as well as her daughters - I think she has no idea how much she has hurt me, or how much anger I still have. She does talk about how she'd like to see me more often - I am just glad that I live in Scotland and she lives in Berkshire, and with the ties of home and dogs, I can't get down there very often.

I wonder if she realises that I come as infrequently as possible, and would come less, if I could?

AfterGlowWorm · 16/04/2019 13:29

I found this thread really interesting as I've started exploring my childhood and especially my relationship with my mum through counselling.

As my children have got older, it's uncovered my emotions about how I was parented that I just wasn't aware of before. It's really unsettling! But I'm hopeful I can work through all of this with my therapist and come out the other side stronger.

Hearhere · 16/04/2019 13:32

Maybe make a spreadsheet, keep a log trying different strategies and see which ones have the best effect
looking at it like that might give you a bit of distance and help you to not be triggered?

headinhands · 16/04/2019 13:35

Is she just a miserable person? My dad has always been very negative. It's not personal.

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