To sell up and move to Spain ?

[MijasMaddie]

Hi MN’s!

I’ve nc! So in a nutshell.. I’ve got two DC (sons) 8yrs and 10yrs. DH is 13 years older than me. (I’m mid thirties he’s late 40s)

He works in financial sales and I’m a small business owner (pet care/boarding).

We have a home in a lovely place on the outskirts of London. BUT we are struggling to live!

My DH has unfortunately been out of work/made redundant SO many times! We’ve been together 13 years and it seems every 2/3 years he is out of work.

A couple of years ago he had to ‘leave’ instead of being pushed and was out of work nearly a whole year! This has put us in such a bad financial situation.

We now pay the mortgage and the bills but we have hardly anything to live on. The mortgage and outgoings are huge.

Credit cards maxed out. I’m in touch with debt companies etc only so much can be done!

Life is a hamster wheel and borrowing from Peter to pay Paul etc..

AIBU to sell up and move to Spain? We attended Spanish lessons (myself, DH, DC) but stopped a couple of years ago! So we are no way fluent!

I have no money nor does DH but we have money in our home. After selling our home we could have enough to buy a three bed apartment in Southern Spain (ideally Calahonda area).

DH is saying he’ll have to stay here and rent a room outskirts of London to work his job in the city etc.

I could get rid of my debts and this misarable life but I will also have burnt all bridges to ever be able to come back.

My youngest is 8 and a young sweet 8. He’d be happy and make friends anywhere. But my eldest is 10 going on Kevin the Teenager! I’d have to put them through Spanish state school (also thinking of doing Cambridge p/t home school modules) if he hated it then he’ll hate me!!

Pros - I’d have the debts and financial burdens weighing me down gone. I’d be living in a sunny climate.
I am qualified in beauty industry, massage, animal pet training care..

Cons- what if it all goes wrong?

I’ve wanted to move to Southern Spain since 2013. I love it there. I fully appreciate living there is different to a holiday.

Only other option is to sell this house and rent there for a year (?)

Are kids that are about to turn 9 and 11 too old to be put in a Spanish state school?

I cannot go on like this 😑 too over drawn too broke. Don’t know how I’ll afford food for this week!

The thought of selling up and being able to buy a spacious penthouse in Spain has never been so tempting.

Ps. I have experience in beauty, make up, massage in case you wondered what I’d do over there. Also a very experienced animal carer.

• also Brexit is a factor but as it stands I know I can still go there ...

Please give me some advice (shake some sense into me!) thank you! X

If you dream of enjoying lovely weather year round there you may be sadly disappointed. I was there (around Estapona, also Malaga and Gibraltar) in March and it felt freezing. There was also quite a lot of rain.

Spain has an uncertain economy and high unemployment. If you sell up everything you will lose your rights to health care here and find it impossible to come back if it doesnt work out

I've seen cat cafes in other countries. I've seen cafes/ restaurants abroad that promote all their profits go towards a local animal shelter that they have set up. All of which I assume don't run at a loss & pay a wage to their owner/employees

I doubt your friends with their luxury homes just rocked up one day and prosperity fell beautifully into place for them . That's not how things work.

Ahh @MijasMaddie, we've all been there and when things are tough, it's very easy to believe the future is somewhere that you've been happy. It's a coping mechanism.

People have a way of making things look great. It's their highlights reel. I know of two MLM people living in Spain, both have inherited their homes. One does okay, but her husband has to work a lot to meet income requirements, and he had to learn Spanish. One is in a lot of debt and has multiple CCJs in the UK. Neither let on that they got there through anything but MLM - it would undermine their ability to recruit you into the dream and get you selling to make them money.

That said, it's not a good idea now; it won't work. But it's not a bad idea ever. You just need to be smart about it. Look at where you could live that you could settle for a few years and learn Spanish. The kids will need it! Sort the debt situation. Get some savings behind you for when you go. You'll make it eventually

I asked a question earlier, OP:

As you both lived in Spain many years ago, how long did you both live there and why did you come back to the UK?

Thank you Anchor! Very kind

Octo - I lived there as a teenager and came back as I looked after children and it was a seasonal job. I was offered a job in a beautiful bar/restaurant in the hills which included accommodation but I was very young and unsure! No children or husband like I have now.

My DH lived in Marbella with his ex and her child. That was over 15 years ago!

We have never lived in Spain together. We have been there multiple times and know the area very well. (Costas)

We have dipped in and out of learning the language (just time and maybe not making it w priority)

Neither let on that they got there through anything but MLM - it would undermine their ability to recruit you into the dream and get you selling to make them money.

Anchor ^ this is so true

They didn't get their big house from MLM, I can guarantee you. It'll have been an inheritance or other money. Nobody makes money from MLM.

Thank you @KrustyKittens

Kind words and great advice

Thanks OP.

I was wondering the sort of advice you were looking for if you had lived there and knew the set up, but if you were fairly young, that makes sense .

I would urge you to think again though. It's good to have dreams and ambitions, but your current situation does not bode well in the short term.

You need to regroup your marriage, job situation, home and finances in the UK and only then see if you can then make it work.

Do you have an eu passport?

^ sorry I didn’t answer! I’m currently applying for one (grandparents born in a different country part of EU)

I should have mentioned that! Does having an EU passport change things massively? Sorry I’m out of my depth (and seems even Spanish CAB don’t have any answers right now!)

Having an EU passport means you avoid the whole losing the right to free movement that comes with Brexit but it doesn't make it any more affordable for you. If you don't have a job there or enough money to support yourself and private healthcare, it's not possible, you won't get residency and a NIE.

golondrina

Having an EU passport means you avoid the whole losing the right to free movement that comes with Brexit but it doesn't make it any more affordable for you. If you don't have a job there or enough money to support yourself and private healthcare, it's not possible, you won't get residency and a NI

^ thanks Golon for the positive advice!

Having an EU passport does change things massively, or will after Brexit. EU citizens (as all UK citizens are now) can live and work in any EU country, subject only to fairly minor restrictions that can vary from country to country (described by pps upthread for Spain).
After Brexit (if it happens), unless you have dual (EU) nationality, you will not be an EU citizen, so will not have the rights associated with freedom of movement, and will have to meet far more stringent conditions involving visas and minimum income requirements associated with those coming from “third countries” outside the EU.
I hope you didn’t vote to leave the EU.

Without speaking the language to the point where you can read and fully understand job/sales contracts I wouldn't move.
I moved to the UK before I had children, in my twenties. The reason I didn't consider Spain for too long was that I diidn't want to be screwed over by only having very basic language skills.

What happens if things break up between your husband and you? Will you be able to support the 3 of you?

I also think you should move to a not-so-nice and cheaper commuter town. (We live in one, in a nice area of a town I don't really like. We just drive everywhere and I'm okay with that.)

It's neither positive nor negative, it's just true. This is a totally unrealistic dream. I know you are in a bad place and Spain seems like the answer, but it's just not.

Golon- I get that. But as you’re a Spanish resident I thought maybe you’d have some constructive or productive advice!

You have had constructive and productive advice OP - it's just that you don't like what you hear. Make a plan, get out of debt by moving somewhere cheaper in the UK, get your DH to give some serious thought to his work situation - all of that is constructive.

But what advice are you expecting? You need to have a job to come to or have large sums of money behind you (enough to buy a property and have I think about €16,000 for 1 person and 2 dependents in your bank account + private healthcare for all). I can give you all the advice you like about learnign Spanish, where to buy, state schools etc, but if you can' fulfill those requirements, none of it is going to happen because you won't get a NIE and then you are basically illegal and can't do anything:
suitelife.com/blog/barcelona-real-estate/how-to-get-a-spanish-nie-number-its-kind-of-a-big-deal/

I know you don't want to hear that as you've set your heart on it, but if the sums don't stack up, they don't.

Pere- I completely second your reply! I have had some amazing advice!

I was just replying back to golon! Not once have I said that I haven’t had great advice on this thread! Thank you

My constructive advice is to either find a job here before you come. There isn't some secrte way around residency requirements. I think you would be better reorganising your life in the UK than chasing a dream abroad.

I want to do this. I can't while my DC are young but if they don't feel like I"m abandoning them I want to buy an apartment near alicante when they have both finished uni. I speak fluent spanish and used to work in Elche so I think I will be fine. It's still a big move though (on my own). I'm Irish not British but I know I'd still need to buy health insurance but I spend 50 euro on Laya a month anyway

Sorry, either find a job here before you come... or find a way to have the money in the bank required plus private healthcare. I don't recommend the second option as you don't seem to have much of a way to earn a living one you're here.