To sell up and move to Spain ?

[MijasMaddie]

Hi MN’s!

I’ve nc! So in a nutshell.. I’ve got two DC (sons) 8yrs and 10yrs. DH is 13 years older than me. (I’m mid thirties he’s late 40s)

He works in financial sales and I’m a small business owner (pet care/boarding).

We have a home in a lovely place on the outskirts of London. BUT we are struggling to live!

My DH has unfortunately been out of work/made redundant SO many times! We’ve been together 13 years and it seems every 2/3 years he is out of work.

A couple of years ago he had to ‘leave’ instead of being pushed and was out of work nearly a whole year! This has put us in such a bad financial situation.

We now pay the mortgage and the bills but we have hardly anything to live on. The mortgage and outgoings are huge.

Credit cards maxed out. I’m in touch with debt companies etc only so much can be done!

Life is a hamster wheel and borrowing from Peter to pay Paul etc..

AIBU to sell up and move to Spain? We attended Spanish lessons (myself, DH, DC) but stopped a couple of years ago! So we are no way fluent!

I have no money nor does DH but we have money in our home. After selling our home we could have enough to buy a three bed apartment in Southern Spain (ideally Calahonda area).

DH is saying he’ll have to stay here and rent a room outskirts of London to work his job in the city etc.

I could get rid of my debts and this misarable life but I will also have burnt all bridges to ever be able to come back.

My youngest is 8 and a young sweet 8. He’d be happy and make friends anywhere. But my eldest is 10 going on Kevin the Teenager! I’d have to put them through Spanish state school (also thinking of doing Cambridge p/t home school modules) if he hated it then he’ll hate me!!

Pros - I’d have the debts and financial burdens weighing me down gone. I’d be living in a sunny climate.
I am qualified in beauty industry, massage, animal pet training care..

Cons- what if it all goes wrong?

I’ve wanted to move to Southern Spain since 2013. I love it there. I fully appreciate living there is different to a holiday.

Only other option is to sell this house and rent there for a year (?)

Are kids that are about to turn 9 and 11 too old to be put in a Spanish state school?

I cannot go on like this 😑 too over drawn too broke. Don’t know how I’ll afford food for this week!

The thought of selling up and being able to buy a spacious penthouse in Spain has never been so tempting.

Ps. I have experience in beauty, make up, massage in case you wondered what I’d do over there. Also a very experienced animal carer.

• also Brexit is a factor but as it stands I know I can still go there ...

Please give me some advice (shake some sense into me!) thank you! X

Oliversmumarmy...please read my post above. I am a northerner living in the SE. I know what I am talking about. It’s not all about income level. So many other factors are involved. My northern friends have more disposable income than my Southern friends doing the same type of jobs. London weighting for so many jobs (e.g. nurses, police, teachers) is negligible. Unless, you are earning mega bucks in the City or got on the property ladder a long time ago it is hard to have the same standard of living I the SE as you can get in the North. Let me give you an example. I live 40 miles out of London. School fees for private secondary are £18-20k. In the major Northern city where I grew up they are £12.5 to £15k. Add to that, as I don’t work in London, I actually earn the same if not less than I would earn for my job at a similar size firm in that Northern city. I use this example as I work to pay school fees. I would be better off where I grew up.

golondrina
Try telling my friend who sold up and got in a van with 2 children and her life’s belongings with not a clue where they would end up let alone knowing the language or getting a job organised.

BunsyGirl

Dd went to a private school in Central London. Some schools might be £18k + but dds was nearer £12,500. (It was a specialised school and was very difficult to get into.)

She then did a year at a private college which was similar price.

Not all schools are more down south than up north.

When I was 7 my parents moved to an arab country (very long term work). I loved it.
When my son was 7 we moved to the UK from an eastern european country. All of us loving it. In 4 years time (when he finishes secondary) we might be moving to another country yet. I never got why it's such a big deal. I love new experiences, countries, people.
It is sometimes hard to have your lifelong friends 1000s of kms away, but phone, net,skype can cure that. And occasional visits.
The only thing we have as a "policy": we only go if one of us (for the uk it was me) gets a job first, moves there and sets up everything. I moved here alone for 6 months (could have been shorter) to do a contract job, then find a perm. I rented multiple places before finding our family flat (irony: it turned out horrid...mice and everything). If/When we move again we'll do it the same way, just shorter transition period.

The OP is still BU, and so are her cheerleaders.

How about selling up and moving to the north of UK?

Can you move somewhere like Vietnam or Cambodia where the cost of living is lower?

My family live near Benidorm in one of those areas full of expats. We are Spanish. My sister has a business teaching Spanish to all the British children who arrive with zero language skills and get thrown into the Spanish system. For what I hear, it's a nightmare for many kids.

Of course some do well, but many fail completely as their parents cannot help at all with their homework, and the teachers at school just ignore them as they have no time to spare.

She also comes across many families who come and end up having to leave due to finances. She often tells me "some people get blinded by the good weather".

I hope it works out for you, OP, but I would really try and secure a job before you arrive. It would be horrible to uproot the kids, fail to survive in Spain and have to come back to UK with nothing.

You live on the outskirts of London. Could you not move somewhere cheaper and use profit to clear debts. Obviously job opportunities would be a consideration but not all financial jobs are in London.

I'm wondering what your DSs think about all this, leaving their home, friends, school, family and their father behind? While you follow some LaLaLand dream of living and working in the sun?
And while you're working long hours out there just what are your non-Spanish speaking children supposed to do with themselves? Wander the streets?
By all means go yourself but leave the DCs here until you sort out everything necessary for them to live safely in Spain, op. Don't drag them along just to justify some pipe dream.

I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if I am repeating. I live in south of Spain near Gibraltar as my husband was relocated here with work. We have been here nearly 10 years and resident for most of that. We came here through circumstance and now love many, many things about our life,but some things we really miss. As people have said you need to factor community fees, taxes and buying fees which I understand are expensive - 10-15% of the cost of the property. The cost of living isnt cheaper as such although you do have cheaper options - eating in Spanish restaurants in non tourist / expat areas, spending the day on the beach at pretty much anytime of year. We got our residency a long time ago, I think now they do ask for proof of income or savings even within the EU, i don't think kids can go to state school without residency. Unemployment is high, it is difficult to find a job, although you have skills you can use to make money you would need a job or to register self employed and pay taxes and 250-300 euros per month social security to get state health, otherwise pay private. I don't want to be the voice of doom and I don't know all the current requirements / processes etc but even before any other considerations are you sure you can afford to do it?

Move up north!!!

23yo nurses up here are waaaaaaswwy better off & can get on housing laddder vs 40yr old professional friends in London

Please don't do it if you're relying on an income from beauty, dogs etc. Doesn't matter what anyone tells you, you will regret it. I've been living here for 16 years and I can't wait to leave. My kids are in private English schools and very few people put their kids in Spanish state schools and when they do, they don't like it. You're children at first will find it difficult as I imagine their Spanish is poor so they'll struggle. The Spanish education system is very different from back home and you will always find fault with it for many reasons. I know a few who have their kids in the Spanish system and they're not happy. Yes they will come out fluent in Spanish but that's it. More to the pot the cost ding has risen here dramatically in the last few years and I dot know anyone who has made money here.
If you really feel that you want to give it a try then please don't sell your home in England, just rent it out and come here and rent for a while, a year or two and see how you get on. If you think you have problems now, if you end up not earning anything here, for sure your problems will get worse and you'll have no home to go back to. S the weather is glorious but I know so many people who came here with lots of money and they're now penniless. Please be realistic. If you can't make it work in England where living costs are far cheaper than here , then why do you think you can do better here??

Oliversmumsarmy...do you mind me asking which school? Was it a senior school. There are four independent secondary schools near me in Essex and the Herts border. My DC’s go to the cheapest and it is £18-20k as a day student in the senior school. I would love to find a cheaper school that can prove the same quality of education and facilities - I am doing a like for like comparison. I have friends in Surrey and London and they pay even more than we do. In any event, that was just one example. My northern friends actually laugh when I tell them the quotes we get for building work etc. Also, it’s £175-225k for a three bed semi in the suburb of the Northern city where I grew up. It is £400-500k where I live now and that’s 40 miles from London. We have a good lifestyle in the SE as we have a six figure income and got on the property ladder early. However, I have friends in the North who earn a third of what we do with the same size houses and who go on holiday three times a year.

Sounds like you are trying to escape to me. Your kids won’t thank you for this. It sounds like it’s your dream not theirs

@JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth your suggestion sounds really good.

OP if you're in an area near London no wonder you're struggling financially, and there must be so many other, cheaper places in the UK where you could thrive.

Spain sound fantastic obviously, but I'm afraid I've never heard of a family doing this who were already in financial difficulties. It's usually IME pre-children or retiring couples that manage it.

I've only read a third of the thread so far but will do now! Feeling huge sympathy for you all though - there must be so many in your situation right now

I also think @Bambamrubblesmum has some really good ideas!!

So hope it works out for you OP.

I like the way England is developed, the whole Madeline thing and no cameras anywhere puts me off those countries unless you are talking about a city. If I was you I would just move to a much cheaper part of England, eg Birmingham, the north...

Forks - thank you 😊🌸

Momma- when you say ‘those countries with no cameras and the Madeline thing’ are you referring to Madeleine Mcaan? Sorry if I’m reading that wrong! X

OP I think you’ve had loads of really useful advice on here. I would just add one thing about your business: i think pet care is in great demand in most areas in the UK (I’m saying most as clearly very rural areas don’t have the density of population/pets) and so transferring your business to a different area would be fine. But in Spain (I’ve lived there) it’s very different as they don’t have the same attitude towards animals. From that point of view it would be a shame to give up what you’ve built up. Also, on a lighter note, if you relieved your financial issues by moving to a cheaper area, you’d have more disposable income to enjoy holidays in Spain while you sort out a longer term plan for moving there.

I think you’d be mad to move to Spain with all the uncertainty of Brexit etc . In your situation I’d sell up and move somewhere cheaper .

Very entertaining and cautionary thread

@borntobequiet that's nice that you find someone trying to get their family out of a desperate financial situation 'entertaining'.

The OP really needs advice!

I think the way the OP and CoisNaFarraige have attacked golondrina has convinced me there is something odd about this thread ....
And I don't just mean the OP discounting any advice she doesn't like , and even the fact she has no idea what work her DH does , Apart from the fact he can only do it in London ( maybe he's a Beefeater lol )

This may be crazy but perhaps you and DH could both do the TEFL qualification. Then you could both secure contracts in Spain and keep the family together