To sell up and move to Spain ?

[MijasMaddie]

Hi MN’s!

I’ve nc! So in a nutshell.. I’ve got two DC (sons) 8yrs and 10yrs. DH is 13 years older than me. (I’m mid thirties he’s late 40s)

He works in financial sales and I’m a small business owner (pet care/boarding).

We have a home in a lovely place on the outskirts of London. BUT we are struggling to live!

My DH has unfortunately been out of work/made redundant SO many times! We’ve been together 13 years and it seems every 2/3 years he is out of work.

A couple of years ago he had to ‘leave’ instead of being pushed and was out of work nearly a whole year! This has put us in such a bad financial situation.

We now pay the mortgage and the bills but we have hardly anything to live on. The mortgage and outgoings are huge.

Credit cards maxed out. I’m in touch with debt companies etc only so much can be done!

Life is a hamster wheel and borrowing from Peter to pay Paul etc..

AIBU to sell up and move to Spain? We attended Spanish lessons (myself, DH, DC) but stopped a couple of years ago! So we are no way fluent!

I have no money nor does DH but we have money in our home. After selling our home we could have enough to buy a three bed apartment in Southern Spain (ideally Calahonda area).

DH is saying he’ll have to stay here and rent a room outskirts of London to work his job in the city etc.

I could get rid of my debts and this misarable life but I will also have burnt all bridges to ever be able to come back.

My youngest is 8 and a young sweet 8. He’d be happy and make friends anywhere. But my eldest is 10 going on Kevin the Teenager! I’d have to put them through Spanish state school (also thinking of doing Cambridge p/t home school modules) if he hated it then he’ll hate me!!

Pros - I’d have the debts and financial burdens weighing me down gone. I’d be living in a sunny climate.
I am qualified in beauty industry, massage, animal pet training care..

Cons- what if it all goes wrong?

I’ve wanted to move to Southern Spain since 2013. I love it there. I fully appreciate living there is different to a holiday.

Only other option is to sell this house and rent there for a year (?)

Are kids that are about to turn 9 and 11 too old to be put in a Spanish state school?

I cannot go on like this 😑 too over drawn too broke. Don’t know how I’ll afford food for this week!

The thought of selling up and being able to buy a spacious penthouse in Spain has never been so tempting.

Ps. I have experience in beauty, make up, massage in case you wondered what I’d do over there. Also a very experienced animal carer.

• also Brexit is a factor but as it stands I know I can still go there ...

Please give me some advice (shake some sense into me!) thank you! X

if you have done your research and it feels right then all you can do is jump in with both feet and hope for the best. That's a good way to lose everything, especially when someone who doesn't know about residency requirements obviously hasn't done much research.

OP - it seems that your bubble has been well and truly burst here so I won't add to that. You have been dreaming instead of looking at your problems (and following people who do MLM who further promote the unrealistic dream!). It is what we all do at times, especially when things are hard. It's like all the people who dream of winning the lottery. It makes you feel better!

So what are you going to do about your situation now? You really could do a lot to improve your families life but you need to take the bull by the horns. Honestly you could turn things around by taking some of the advice on here seriously. Take this thread as a positive, be glad that you started it because it could be the beginning of some significant changes for you (just not the one you were dreaming of).

If you are determined the best suggestion for security would be to seell up , by something cheaper here to rnt out , and then rent in Spain, probably best to try it it the winter if its the idea of good weather that attracts you
Selling up completely here would make it very difficult to buy a house if you choose to come back , and of course coming back will only be an option if you have jobs to come back to

Hi OP
You've had some great advise on here in support of all options to consider.
I know the area well and will be moving there in the future (further south than Calahonda) but do have the benefit of knowledge and experience of in laws that have lived there for 20 years.
Just a couple of things that I don't think I've seen mentioned yet:
Property purchase transfer tax - figure an additional 8% to 10% on the purchase price.
If the job in Gib becomes a reality, it's a bit less than a 60 mile commute each way and the A7 gets gridlocked heading South in the week. AP7 (toll road) is quicker but tolls are high. (Never mind the queues at the border, but you can always park up and walk!)
I am coming at it from a different angle to you (won't be working/ DC settled into HE) so appreciate you have way more to consider, but can only second to consider the great advice you've been given.

Then go! You're clearly set on it.

A few Qs:

Why was he out of work for a whole year? He could've got a job in a shop/pub/cafe?

'He'd just have to rent a room in London' - my friends in zone 2 pay £950 a month for a double room. Could he afford this? also, what on Earth does he do that only hires in London?

I can't imagine living that far away from DP every week... do you want to divorce?

My DH has unfortunately been out of work/made redundant SO many times! We’ve been together 13 years and it seems every 2/3 years he is out of work...This has put us in such a bad financial situation

OP, a couple of people have already pointed this out but I really do think the focus right now should be on your DH's job issues. You need to sit down and have a plan so that his earnings are more reliable, especially as it's his lack of job security which has landed the family in this mess. If his job is so "niche" then I suggest he retrain in something else where he's not going to become unemployed every couple of years. This is the problem, the elephant in the room.

Seriously can't believe that people still think that all the negatives that come with Brexit won't apply to them!!!

I know the area you're thinking of, OP. Here's my take, fwiw.

There are lots of expats and a thriving British community. (A bit Daily Fail/Brexiteer, mind!)

It's perfectly possible to live there without speaking more than a few words of Spanish. Not for want of trying, but many of the locals speak English and are only too willing to use it so practising your Spanish can be hard!

The schools in the area are geared up for British children and most seem to settle well. I know someone who went through the Spanish school system and is now at a UK university.

It is not at all cheap to live in Spain. Compare the same items in Spanish and UK Lidl to see what I mean.

A practical note, atm there is a reciprocal arrangement allowing British people living in Spain to exchange their British driving licence for a Spanish one. This is set to change. After that you will need to take a Spanish test to be able to drive in Spain.

This one's a biggie. The property market in Spain is very volatile. There were massive price drops following the economic crash and people lost half the value of their homes. The smart people keep a toehold back in the UK which they rent out till they need it in old age - see below.

It sounds like you're a long way off this but what about when you are old? The Spanish care system is very different. Most British expats tend to go 'home' towards the end of their life.

Exactly. My point was that children need to be cared for no matter where you live!

But thread has become such a parody of doom that apparently it would be worse in Spain.

This thread has become a joke now. People leaping on the bandwagon to show how much more sensible they are than the OP! Like she is booking the flights as they sagely reason, instead of the pile-on, half of tgem haven't fully read the details of tge thread.

Another nail in the coffin for this thread is that I have been accused of selling something even after I denied it already.

OP good luck whatever you do. Im sure you're not an idiot. Im sure you wont leave the uk unless you know you have things sorted the other end.

It's not a paradoy of doom to say that she clearly hasn't though about even basic things and obviously doesn't want to hear them. And that there are much better ways to improve her life than moving to a country she doesn't speak the language of and obviously doesn't know much about.

Get some perspective though. Yes there is a lot to think about but posting a thread on mumsnet is a part of that process.

Also repeated insinuations that I am trying to sell something just show that tge bandwagon brigade are really getting their teeth in to the narrative that the OP is 'naive'. She will probably not be selling up and booking flights so the pile ons are so unnecessary. Anyway, good luck to y'all.

Not-selling-anything. Except perspective!!

With a DH like yours OP... I would be very anxious about making any big life decisions. Chances are... with someone like your DH it will be an unmitigated disaster.

Get yourself onto the Andalucia Forum. People who live/lived/work etc in Spain and can tell you the realities of living/working in Spain.

We spend a few months a year in Andalucia. It’s a lovely place, but unemployment is high. Cost of living isn’t low.

Make your choice, but please let it be an informed choice.

You won't get rid of your debts by moving abroad - they'll just move with you.

I would also be wary of doing anything until after Brexit is sorted because it may be that we won't have any reciprocal medical arrangements in place with other EU countries so you'll have to take out medical insurance which could be expensive as the companies will know you don't have any other options.

Why don't you try and move out of London? You're living in one of the most expensive parts of the country.

@OP, we moved to the south of Spain 2 years ago as DH’s job brought us here. I left mine as a consequence. We have found that in general our outgoings are a lot higher than we first assumed they would be. My 4 DD’s are in an international school which is a heavy financial burden but they did not speak Spanish and 2 were teenagers so it was unfair to put them into a Spanish school. I also have been told that the state schools are in general not great at all so will be keeping mine where they are. If I were you I would plan things a bit more thoroughly before you move and try and secure a job for your DH also before you come. Dental care is very costly and medical care is also not free until you’re resident in the country.

It js funny that some speak as if Spain is way across the world and OMG you'll never survive there. Such a fear of change and difference.

FWIW OP I think you would survive. As many do. But your DH is a dead weight and thats what will make things difficult.

Im self-employed and 9 times out of 10 in my field its the men (with working wives to fund their dream of course) who sit on their arse between contracts, as they codnt possibly lower themselves to a bit of unrelated temp work in order to get by and help support themselves and family.

Nobody's saying she won't survive, just that it's not a well thought out idea that is probably not feasible, with many other less drastic ways to make her life better.

It's risky. If your husband can't find work there I think it's complicated. Also what is your level of fluency in Spanish? The language can be a big barrier to getting jobs, making friends, even etc. It is difficult to achieve professional fluency unless you are going to work for the expat community. Is your business profitable?

OP as people have already mentioned, I would seriously consider moving up North. I am a Northerner living in the SE and that’s our plan B if times get tough. DH’s business is in the SE which is why we stay here for the time being. You could get a house for cash, or with a small mortgage if you want something bigger. Your quality of life would be so much better on a relatively modest income. It’s not just housing that is cheaper, cars are cheaper (we always buy our cars up North), the cost of trades people doing your work in your home is cheaper...Seriously, every time DH and I holiday abroad the five star hotels we stay in are full of Northerners...they have more disposable income...my friends in the North holiday much more than those in the SE on similar incomes. If your DH can’t get work, he could retrain. I know people who have done exactly this and gone back to college to learn a trade such as plumbing. You could work in a call centre in the evening to make money while he looks after the kids. There are lots of call centre opportunities in Leeds, for example.

My DM and DStD moved to southern Spain about 15 years ago. They both worked in London and had good jobs but when they retired their money would go further in Spain and my DM hated English cold weather. They sold up and bought a lovely old Spanish house. They had a good standard of living out there but they had investments and inheritances so didn’t need to work. It’s not as cheap as it used to be though. And there are plenty of ex pat english younger families who struggle to find work. Quite often people end up having to just do what they can to get by: cleaning, working in a bar, driving other ex pats to and from the airport, cooking for people, feeding pets while people are away, odd jobs etc. If you’ve not got a job it can be hard work. Probably a better standard of living than here, but by no means a walk in the park!

I think the difficult thing most of us posting have found is that the OP has been blinkered in her approach in that she has completely ruled out everything bar staying put or Spain. The most sensible thing to do would be to compare several options including the ones she's not keen on to see which would be best. She might actually surprise herself just how great other parts of the UK are.

Nothing ventured nothing gained!
I'm sure you'll do due diligence Mijas. I say go for it! It wouldn't be the end of the world if you had to come back to the UK.

It wouldn't be the end of the world if you had to come back to the UK. Well it would be a bit shit if she sold up here, it all went tits up there and she was priced out here, wouldn't it?

That would be shit. But she hasn't moved there, never mind decided she doesn't like it! omg.

@golondrina, can you share with the thread why it worked for you ? How are you coping in Spain?

Please could you send me a private message telling me about the financial sales your DH works in? What exactly does he do? who does/has he worked for...that kind of thing. I may be able to help? Can't promise anything, but it might be worth a try.