To sell up and move to Spain ?

[MijasMaddie]

Hi MN’s!

I’ve nc! So in a nutshell.. I’ve got two DC (sons) 8yrs and 10yrs. DH is 13 years older than me. (I’m mid thirties he’s late 40s)

He works in financial sales and I’m a small business owner (pet care/boarding).

We have a home in a lovely place on the outskirts of London. BUT we are struggling to live!

My DH has unfortunately been out of work/made redundant SO many times! We’ve been together 13 years and it seems every 2/3 years he is out of work.

A couple of years ago he had to ‘leave’ instead of being pushed and was out of work nearly a whole year! This has put us in such a bad financial situation.

We now pay the mortgage and the bills but we have hardly anything to live on. The mortgage and outgoings are huge.

Credit cards maxed out. I’m in touch with debt companies etc only so much can be done!

Life is a hamster wheel and borrowing from Peter to pay Paul etc..

AIBU to sell up and move to Spain? We attended Spanish lessons (myself, DH, DC) but stopped a couple of years ago! So we are no way fluent!

I have no money nor does DH but we have money in our home. After selling our home we could have enough to buy a three bed apartment in Southern Spain (ideally Calahonda area).

DH is saying he’ll have to stay here and rent a room outskirts of London to work his job in the city etc.

I could get rid of my debts and this misarable life but I will also have burnt all bridges to ever be able to come back.

My youngest is 8 and a young sweet 8. He’d be happy and make friends anywhere. But my eldest is 10 going on Kevin the Teenager! I’d have to put them through Spanish state school (also thinking of doing Cambridge p/t home school modules) if he hated it then he’ll hate me!!

Pros - I’d have the debts and financial burdens weighing me down gone. I’d be living in a sunny climate.
I am qualified in beauty industry, massage, animal pet training care..

Cons- what if it all goes wrong?

I’ve wanted to move to Southern Spain since 2013. I love it there. I fully appreciate living there is different to a holiday.

Only other option is to sell this house and rent there for a year (?)

Are kids that are about to turn 9 and 11 too old to be put in a Spanish state school?

I cannot go on like this 😑 too over drawn too broke. Don’t know how I’ll afford food for this week!

The thought of selling up and being able to buy a spacious penthouse in Spain has never been so tempting.

Ps. I have experience in beauty, make up, massage in case you wondered what I’d do over there. Also a very experienced animal carer.

• also Brexit is a factor but as it stands I know I can still go there ...

Please give me some advice (shake some sense into me!) thank you! X

Oliversmumsarmy - your understanding is wrong I'm afraid - or at least limited. After 90 days in Spain you now HAVE to make an application to be put on the Register if EU nationals living in Spain. To do that you go to the local office dealing with foreigner (not the town hall) with documents showing that you have somewhere to live, sufficient funds to support yourself and your family ( so a Spanish work contract or funds in the bank) and health cover. There is no way round that - the programme you saw had people who ran a business - so they could prove income and had presumably been paying into the social security system so had health cover.

SilverySurfer

It's obvious the OP doesn't want to be told the realities and only wants to be told she will soon be happily sipping Sangria in the sun.

Silverysurfer- I have never said or IMO implied this! I fully understand it’s a not a long jolly in the sunshine and I already pointed that out in my OP. Thank you for your advice.

Oliversmummy - thank you I feel you understand my situation! Others have said the my DH would rent a flat in London but I never said that. He’d look into getting a rented room and keep his existing job and then look into getting a job (in Gib)

I do appreciate from what others have said that it sounds ‘mad’, ‘bonkers’, ‘pure fantasy’ etc! I’m not an idiot! I’ve always been in a job since my teens. Reasons for debts are because H was out of work for a whole year! And we were not entitled to anything and as we don’t rent we couldn’t get any help towards to the mortgage.
Never been on a benefit so having welfare doesn’t help me being here.

Mummy- I am taking mental notes of all your amazing advice including moving to a cheaper area! Just because I don’t reply back to every piece of advice doesn’t mean I’m not appreciating and listening.

Thank you everyone :)

www.spainmadesimple.com/moving-to-spain/advantages-disadvantages/

OP , how are you going to manange childcare?

ideally you need to spend some time out there in the winter , everywhere is nice when you are on holiday

Oliversmumarmy- I am SO sorry to hear that. Wishing you a miracle 🙏🏻 Please pm me if you need to chat xx

Sandwichgirl

That must have been it, that they were put on the register but I don’t see how op can’t do the same, she can prove she has somewhere to live, income from either a business or her dh who is working in the UK.

I don’t see the issue.

My friend did it with absolutely no forethought because when she set off from the UK she didn’t know which country she would end up in.

Oliversmumsarmy

I do wonder from your posts whether your current financial situation is due to the same edge tinkering that you are doing with your dream

Op said her dh has been made redundant a few times and has struggled to get a job.

From someone who has been in ops position and has had the 5 year plan blow up spectacularly several times in our face I would throw caution to the wind and go.

This is spot on. I could make a plan now and eventualities could get in the way just like they have since I first tried to make a plan a few years ago!

OP , how are you going to manange childcare

Pelic- I’ve always managed to get by here with no family support network etc and where childcare costs are astronomical.

Childcare isn’t a worry really. My eldest is nearly high school age.

Dp was made redundant several times. (Couple of times the companies he worked for went under in spectacular fashion. We joked that Dp could ask companies for money to not work for them)😀

The plan was to sell up when Dp was 60 and go abroad.

At 59 Dp spent the year being ill and at 60 was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

The money I use for my business was spent on an operation to buy Dp more time.
All plans have gone out the window.

I have raised enough to buy a holiday home and we are going to be moving this year to a cheaper area to buy a bigger house but still in proximity to London.
(Where we live is stupid prices)
But any long term plans we had have gone out the window.

We live day to day wondering when the cancer will return and it is horrible.

So for those thinking that being sensible and spending 5 years getting everything in order and learning a language fluently is the way to go remember you are counting on the status quo being the status quo in 5 years.

From my experience nothing goes to plan and if you have done your research and it feels right then all you can do is jump in with both feet and hope for the best.

Have you checked out childcare facilities in Spain ?

The Spainish traditionally work much longer hours then we do

If you eldest is only nearly high school age then I would say childcare is very much an issue

However It doesnt matter what we say , you arent taking any of it in

As this process could take a while , and you debts seem to be too much to handle I suggest you need to start tackling it now and put your house on the market , research places for your husband to live in London . leave it too long and you could be in serious financial trouble , with the possibility of losing everything
visit forums.moneysavingexpert.com for help and advice

However It doesnt matter what we say , you arent taking any of it in

Peli! Wow! All I’ve done is thanked everyone and I’ve taken everyone’s helpful and informative advice on board!

I'm laughing out loud at the idea that there are no childcare issues with a school age child.
I've lived in Spain. They often work later than we do.

. leave it too long and you could be in serious financial trouble , with the possibility of losing everything
visit forums.moneysavingexpert.com for help and advice

^ and thank you! That site is great. I’m exploring every avenue .. this MN thread is just a small percentage. I’m in touch with lots of helpful people.

That's a bit rude @pelirocca - A person would be mad to be talked out of a plan before they're properly looked in to it by a bunch of randomers on mumsnet. Now that would be stupid. There's information out there and sure you can understand that posting a thread on mumsnet is the most embryonic part of a plan.

Did you really get the sense reading the OP that she was 72 hours from putting her house on the market and booking flights. Give her a break.

.... and kids mind themselves in the uk!

Bellini - glad its a put a smile on your face 😊😊😊

My DH would be working and earning. I wouldn’t just go over there and apply for jobs leaving my kids all day!! 😁

Bellini - have a 🍷 from me 😘

I lived in Spain for 5 years in my late twenties teaching English as a foreign language. There are language schools all over (or at least there were) and these included even quite small villages. If you can get a TEFL qualification (although the courses aren't cheap) this is a way to live and support yourself abroad. I taught mostly children and teens, but you can teach business English to adults in companies, etc as well. The hours don't tend to be very family friendly though - I often worked from 4-10pm and this is very common.

I agree with others that it's imperative to learn Spanish, not only for practicalities but also so you feel part of the community. I think this applies even if you're living in an expat community - not everyone you come across will speak English and you really won't want to feel dependent on others to help you all the time. You'd also need Spanish to speak to your kids' teachers, etc at school.

Re pets and a pet care business: I don't know if this will apply to expat communities, but in the most part Spaniards live in flats and are not a big pet owner society.

ur being rather naive.

In your current situation, moving to Spain would be highly silly and irresponsible.

you say you don’t want to move further up North or Wales which is ridiculous.

That would immediately reduce ur cost living.

Moving to Spain wouldn’t

• you don’t speak Spanish
• ur in debt
• ur husband would struggle to find a job
• You would struggle to find a job
• you can’t afford international school
• BREXIT.

= ridiculous !

CoisNaFarraige Mon 15-Apr-19 13:54:08
.... and kids mind themselves in the uk!

At primary school age ? I dont think so

I still think you are trying to sell something

I think cois is sarcastically pointing out that OP has childcare needs in the UK too that she manages to meet. But in the UK she lives with the kids' dad and is self-employed so has some income plus the ability to juggle, whereas in Spain her best prospect is waitressing and bar work for which she will 100% require childcare.

Oliversmumsarmy
A couple of pages ago I asked the OP if she could meet the current residency requirements and she said that at the moment she couldn't. That's why so many of us are saying make a plan, get yourself in a position to meet the requirements and then move.
The OP could not claim in the basis of her UK based spouses income - It has to her her income with a monthly payment of between 600 to 800 euro per month per person into a Spanish bank account ( the amount varies between areas as the law stipulates that you must show funds to support yourself and your dependents, and the cost of living varies across the country) , a significant lump sum in a Spanish bank - I've heard (but don't have personal experience) that some foreigners offices are asking for both OR a Spanish work contract. The latter will give you health cover, otherwise you need to prove you have health insurance.
I don't think that 90 days (the time allowed before you have to register) is enough to set up a business and show the minimum income requirements.

We moved to Spain 10years ago but came back to the UK after a year for my eldest education (secondary age) .
My advice is if you want to do it, Rent Rent Rent to begin with .
Many areas are like ghost towns out of season and if you buy you will be trapped . We are moving back next year ...to the same area . My youngest will return to the international school he was at before ( he was in the nursery) .
We learnt many lessons from our year out there and will do things slightly differently. Having proper central heating is a must . It is very cold in the winter and the houses are poorly insulated. Electricity is very expensive.
I think, if you don't try you will regret it, but I would not sell the house. Or sell your house but buy something here in the UK out right and rent that out , then you can use the funds for your spanish rental.
You may hate it, the kids may hate it and if they do you will be trapped.

You only live once and your current life does sound really hard and lacking in joy.

Moving is a gamble and it could go wrong in the multiple ways people on here tell you. Mumsnetters are a conservative, sensible bunch on the whole.

Or it could be great.

We made a move and everyone told us it wasn't sensible, wasn't practical (Mumsnet had us staying put forever) but I'm currently sitting here in the sunshine, kids aged 13 and 10 have been playing outside all day with lots of friends. Dh and I have time and money to spend with dc. Friends and grandparents visit because we have space, time and money to host.

I asked them if they'd like to go back the other day (we've been here three years) and they visibly panicked. Resounding no from everyone.

Who knows? Maybe that might change but I'm glad we took the risk to make our lives better and more financially stable. If we'd stayed trapped in the cycle of debt and grind I think one of us would have crumbled.

Within 10 days she had rented a house, got the kids in the local school and found a job and booked them all on Spanish lessons. The job will have been how she got a NIE and was able to do the rest. If you don't get a job you need to be able to show you can support yourself.

I should add we're not in Spain.