To think this might be the most passive aggressive well done ever?

[Forthepurposesofthetape]

My dh has done a big charity run today and has been lucky enough to receive lots of generous sponsorship from family and friends. After he'd finished, I took his photo and we put a thank you post on FB as that's where we've got most of our sponsorship from and it was an easy way of saying thank you to everyone.

We've got back this afternoon and I haven't stopped! I ran dh a bath, put his muddy stuff to wash and have been looking after dc so that he can chill. Am just putting the tea on when I get the message from my mother:

"Well done to Dh. I was waiting to hear how he got on, seems it was put on Facebook some time ago. Apologies for the delay but I was waiting for a text or call"

Aibu to find this very passive aggressive?!! I haven't replied or shown dh, I don't want to spoil his moment and make it all about her

Lady
In that case you wouldnt be expecting a call then either would you

Yet here you are on Mumsnet, Lady...

OP my mum is like this. Very hard to explain to people who don’t experience it.

With my mum I’ve just decided to ignore the PA!

So for example “I really miss seeing the dc. It’s been a week.”

My reply: “you’re welcome to call around any time “

Bad example but you get my meaning. It’s exhausting though!

Haven't RTFT but I would have called both sets of parents ASAP after the run.

Really?

Had you Mum contacted your DH to say good luck?

However much you want to bite back, I'd recommend rising above it. More frustrating for her that she hasn't pissed on your chips.

As she has form for this type of behaviour, you know it isn't coming from anything you did or didn't do, so set her aside in your mind and enjoy basking in DH's glory. I hope he isn't too sore today.

I had a conversation with mine once where she had the right hump from 'Hello'. I asked what was up. She said 'Well. I just haven't heard from you in SO LONG'. I played it very straight and feigned confusion that she'd forgotten our conversations on Thursday and Monday, which were only 3 and 7 days ago after all. She had the grace to sound a little shame faced, tbf. But FFS.

Terrible as it sounds, her death meant that I will never have to work out how best to deal with a pass agg monster ever again. Well not on a regular basis anyway. Fuck but it's freeing

Why would anyone call their parents or PIL either after a sponsored run? What's so amazing and important and exciting? babies births, engagement, exam passing, new house got...yes but a run? My parents would think i was drunk or high to do that.

Not that they wouldnt support, congratulate or like pictures but its a run and a husband, not a marathon and not a young child.

Your mum is passive aggressive, ignore and crack on. Let her stew in it.

I find it quite bizarre all these people saying that you should never post anything on FB until you've told everyone in your family. Like, how far are we supposed to take that? Should I not comment on the book I'm reading or the film I've just booked tickets for until I've made sure to speak to my third cousins about it?

This is not big family news. This is a person's son-in-law doing a charity run. Why does everyone - why does ANYONE - need a phone call about it? Especially people who have FB themselves and can see perfectly well what happened.

I honestly don't think she was expecting a call, she was just looking for something to strop over. His sister rang us to congratulate him, she could have done the same.

I'd just reply and say "yeah, he got on great thanks!". Pretend you don't even notice her PA attitude. That's how I deal with my mum when she's like this.

This is not big family news. This is a person's son-in-law doing a charity run. Why does everyone - why does ANYONE - need a phone call about it? Especially people who have FB themselves and can see perfectly well what happened.

Absolutely agree. Different if it's the birth of a child obvs bit this run does not fall into that category.