To think this might be the most passive aggressive well done ever?

[Forthepurposesofthetape]

My dh has done a big charity run today and has been lucky enough to receive lots of generous sponsorship from family and friends. After he'd finished, I took his photo and we put a thank you post on FB as that's where we've got most of our sponsorship from and it was an easy way of saying thank you to everyone.

We've got back this afternoon and I haven't stopped! I ran dh a bath, put his muddy stuff to wash and have been looking after dc so that he can chill. Am just putting the tea on when I get the message from my mother:

"Well done to Dh. I was waiting to hear how he got on, seems it was put on Facebook some time ago. Apologies for the delay but I was waiting for a text or call"

Aibu to find this very passive aggressive?!! I haven't replied or shown dh, I don't want to spoil his moment and make it all about her

Don’t take the bait.

Very passive aggressive and so something my MIL would say. I’d reply along the line of what others have said. She sounds so bitchy and grumpy.

Perhaps I should have texted her but I honestly didn't expect her to be waiting to be informed, it's not like a birth announcement!! It was just all go afterwards, dc were moaning they were cold and hungry so we had to stop off and get them food, I honestly didn't think about sending individual messages to people!

I’m sorry but I don’t get it.
I don’t think it would have been unreasonable to give her a quick call/text
Maybe I just have a different relationship with my mum but I think hearing about something to do with your loved ones via FB instead of personally could maybe be a little hurtful 🤷🏻‍♀️

Butchyrestingface I've gone with your reply, thanks!

It wouldn’t have occurred to me to text her separately if she’s already on Facebook! Why does she need her own text?? I could sort of understand it a bit more if it was HIS mum or if she wasn’t on Fb, but otherwise...??’

'Yes we put it in facebook so you'd see it. He did great eh?'

Interesting - I have splinters. If she gets on well with your DH, and is proud of him like she would be of one of her own children, then I get she might have liked a text/call to simply say he had done it. But then I can see that you were focused on tired hungry kids and an exhausted DH which is the priority. So good advice from everyone else rise above it!

I completely agree with you OP, it's a run not a birth announcement! I've got no idea why she would need/want a personal call before it goes on Facebook.

I think you did very well not to rise to the bait.

Start posting pictures of your DC on FB again. Stop trying to please your mother. Her expectations are unreasonable and, more importantly, don't match your own idea of her role in your family life.

'Yes we put it in facebook so you'd see it. He did great eh?'

Love it!

Maybe I should have done a Harry and Meghan and made an announcement that there would only be one announcement...

I would have text my mil before any Facebook announcement. She gave birth to your dh and seems interested in what’s happening in his life. I only hope your children behave better when they are older. Yabu.

My mil was with us.

YABU! As she's your mum she probably expects something a bit more personal rather than being lumped in with your facebook acquaintances.

Yes but it's just a run!!

Yeah definitely PA!

I make a point of sending photos/news to parents/family separately, just before I put them in fb so I avoid this type of response.

Very PA. if she was genuinely bothered she could have called or texted earlier to ask how it went.
She’s making it clear she expects special treatment. Just respond ‘don’t worry about it’ or ‘thanks’

It's his day, not hers

She's choosing to be offended. I can't be bothered with people who expect their social phone call/text as soon as anything has happened. It's my life, not yours. I'll tell you when I'm ready. It's so needy!

But I do think the reply you've chosen is the right way to go.

I can't believe anyone is siding with your DM!

Ridiculous. She's being immature. You did nothing wrong, you were busy. Her text was rude.

What !
She got snotty about a run ?
Seriously PA

Yep breezy reply and ignore

My Mother is an expert at this kind of message. I always take it at face value. "No worries, I´ll pass on your greeting!". Don't rise to it.

I can’t imagine my mother holding her breath for news of a run her son in law was in, and getting offended that she hadn’t been contacted about it a few hours later on the same day

She is offended you dint tell her yourself. Reasonably. Facebook is for people further away from family. I would hate to hear thigs via Facebook