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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to the registry office just the 2 of us

34 replies

MafaldaGregorovitch · 12/04/2019 20:03

And have a church blessing at a later stage? DP has a DD, so my stb DSD who is 7. DP is getting stressed about money, people etc re the wedding. He's very introverted and we bother suffer with mental health. Our local registry office do a midweek service with just 2 witnesses for less than £60, more than £100 cheaper than their standard service. We both have religious backgrounds but haven't currently got a church we're settled in. Would we BU to get married in the registry office just the 2 of us (plus witnesses) and then have a church blessing once the 3 of us are settled somewhere?

OP posts:
Jon65 · 12/04/2019 20:06

We did this, not in our local registry office, and it was a fabulous day, just for the two of us.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 12/04/2019 20:06

I think it's a great idea. I want to do the same at some stage. I have a supportive church, but my OH isn't Christian and is introverted like me. I think this will be the best solution for us.

aibutohavethisusername · 12/04/2019 20:07

Could you not take DSD too?

chantico · 12/04/2019 20:09

I think it's a lovely idea.

But you might want to round up a couple of people to be witnesses (so you're not reliant on finding willing passers-by on the day)

Wowzel · 12/04/2019 20:10

No, it sounds lovely.

AlunWynsKnee · 12/04/2019 20:11

YANBU. And it would be reasonable to ask for volunteer witnesses on MN. I always hope it will be somewhere I could be a witness but it never is.

PooWillyBumBum · 12/04/2019 20:14

We went to registry office (though it cost circa £500 IIRC!) with parents, sisters and one friend. Don’t regret it in the slightest.

Babdoc · 12/04/2019 20:14

OP, it’s your wedding, you can do whatever feels comfortable for you!
DH and I did this - just us, 2 witnesses and a registrar, one Friday afternoon. I went to work on the Saturday morning for a 72 hour shift as a junior doctor - some honeymoon, eh!
But we were broke and I’m autistic, and there was no way anyone was dragging me up an aisle wearing a giant meringue and clutching a bloody bouquet!
Go for it, OP.

PowerBadgersUnite · 12/04/2019 20:15

We just invited a friend each to be witnesses and went to the local register office. We did go for tapas afterwards, but that was it. It was our dream wedding and was just lovely. I would recommend it to anyone.

Home77 · 12/04/2019 20:16

We did this, also similar and was fab, we went to Devon...stayed in a hotel afterwards and had a lovely peaceful weekend together.

Some places help with witnesses, others don't and ask you to get them off the street, so it is worth asking first. sounds like you might have done this already.

stucknoue · 12/04/2019 20:16

It's pretty much what we did - we took our own witnesses and went for a nice meal afterwards. Mon-Thursday before midday was half price!

Original poster
MafaldaGregorovitch · 12/04/2019 22:05

Could you not take DSD too? not for the less than £60 ceremony. They literally only allow bride, groom & 2 witnesses.

OP posts:
SpoonBlender · 12/04/2019 22:17

Heck yes, go for it. Ask if they'd let DSD in as a minor into the cheap ceremony? It'd be a shame for her to miss it.

Original poster
MafaldaGregorovitch · 12/04/2019 22:49

Definitely worth asking @SpoonBlender. If they say no would we still BU to go for it?

OP posts:
Home77 · 13/04/2019 11:19

We went and stayed here after- it has its own cinema! there was a big wedding prep going on for the weekend and we were so glad not to have that and just be staying ourselves! wedding was about 55 pounds i think nearby...

www.dartington.org/visit/stay/

ForalltheSaints · 13/04/2019 11:26

Your wedding your choice. When you settle on your choice of church I am sure they will be most welcoming and happy to bless your wedding.

Jb291 · 13/04/2019 11:28

Sounds like a lovely idea OP. Just you and your husband and a couple of witnesses. Very small and intimate without all the ridiculous hoopla and fuss of a big wedding. Congratulations to you both x

SoHotADragonRetired · 13/04/2019 11:30

Do it, and get me to be a witness! I've always wanted to Grin

Langrish · 13/04/2019 11:33

Not unreasonable at all. The whole big wedding song and dance is a complete nonsense.
My mum and stepdad married at the registry after nearly 40 years together and told me a few weeks later. What a relief! No worries about travel, outfits, having to dance to bad music and wonder what the hell to give 2 people with two houses and everything they could ever need already.

You’ll focus on each other and remember the day rather than rushing about trying to please everyone else. Congratulations.

Lottapianos · 13/04/2019 11:35

Do it your way OP. The big white wedding is definitely not for everyone. I think your plans sound lovely

Boom45 · 13/04/2019 11:49

We did similar, had the slightly bigger room so our parents and siblings could come but we did it on a bit if a whim then had a party a few months later to celebrate. Not a white dress in sight...

Twernip · 13/04/2019 11:54

We did this too, took a couple of witnesses then went for coffee and cake after. So relaxed and lovely!

Jenniferyellowcat · 13/04/2019 11:57

Sounds like bliss. I did not enjoy my wedding at all, it was all about everyone else and I am an introvert so it was utterly exhausting. I spent years after regretting doing it the way we did. Luckily it was also inexpensive and I like my husband so the end result was fine!

hiphopapotamuses · 13/04/2019 12:27

We did similar but took our kids too (but no charge for them) had the best day. Highly recommend!

Zampa · 13/04/2019 12:31

Could you not take DSD too? not for the less than £60 ceremony. They literally only allow bride, groom & 2 witnesses

Our local register office allows children in for the cheaper ceremonies. It's with checking with the registrar.

(BTW I'm getting married on Monday with two MN witnesses!)