To ask how much you have helped, or intend to help your children financially?

[AK86xo]

Whether it be private school fees for them (I know they can't pay for this one themselves), university fees, cars, deposits for houses, mortgage free houses, weddings, private school fees for grandchildren, paying for your adult children to go on holiday with you etc.

Also do you think there is a point where helping them too much financially isn't beneficial for them?

We'll consider what is needed at the time it's needed - we have the means to buy them most of the op's list but just because we have money doesn't mean we'll spend it on them.
If they work hard and struggle we'll help financially - if they don't work hard, we'll try to help by providing advice and support to get them on the right track again - if that's where they want to be. They are currently studying for public exams - they will not be receiving financial rewards for grades because they are gaining grades for their future - they have to put the work in and the grades and investment in their future is their reward.

One of dh's colleagues indulged his ds's passion for classical music - but by age of 27 he still wasn't earning enough to survive without quite a bit of parental help, he was enjoying his poorly paid musical career while his Dad worked his butt off to subsidise it - they decided the Bank of Mum and Dad had to close - the son was told it was time he grew up and found a job that paid the bills...the dad regretted indulging his son so much - he had grown to expect his dad to fund him and cutting off tht funding was incredibly painful for all of them - it took a long time for their relationship to recover.

DD begged to go to posh 6thForm, so we are paying £32k for that. It will come out of her future inheritance since other DC have no interest in posh 6th form, have to redress balance somehow. Plus DD is obsessed with attending a London Uni & I think she'll need a lot of financial support for that (don't know if other DC will go to Uni at all).

I get schizo advice about this on MN. Many deplore my (pathetic parental) weakness for indulging her. Others say that it's education so of course I should pay if can possibly afford (plus I'm evil person to reduce her inheritance due to an education cost). Then there are those who say I'm a bad parent not to pay for everything else all the other kids at her posh school take for granted (foreign holidays, car for 17th birthday, driving lessons...) or I'm a truly terrible parent b/c my other 3 DC didn't get the same 2 yrs of expensive school fees blown on them. MN at its best?!!

We pay school fees.

Intend to cover driving lessons.

Will help with Uni

Hope to help with house deposit.

Will always support emotionally and practically to the best of our ability.

My parents and grandparents paid for most of my uni education, but I have worked from age 14. Very much 'we will help you if you help yourself and work hard' kind of philosophy.

My parents paid for our wedding. My grandparents recently gave us a life changing sum of money out of the blue which enabled us to buy a much better house.

My parents often help by buying extra things for us that they know we want but cant really justify (not talking huge stuff, but like nice clothes for our children and a garden seat when ours broke, that sort of thing)

I am eternally grateful for all the help I have had and as long as my kids are appreciative and work hard, i will help them as much as I am able to.

As much as I can.

I’ve had 0 help from my parents- and in fact, paid my mothers rent sometimes while I was at uni, and working.

I’m a bit skint now (LP, nursery fees killing me, racked up debt leaving exDP while on mat leave) - but I have good earning potential and hope it will all balance out eventually.

Once DS has funded hours at 3, I’ll start an isa for him and go from there.
Would like to send him to private school (local academies are dreadful, bottom of the National league tables).
Would help with uni.
Would buy car/ first boat (family of narrowboaters).
Would definitely help but first home.
Would help with seed money for a business.
Will absolutely help with children when they come along (hope sincerely they do).
I think the most financially sensible thing I can do for DS though is make sure I have money for my elderly and end of life care. No good doing all the previous if I cripple him in my last years.

There’s literally nothing I wouldn’t do to help him.

That said he is a scrummy 2.5 yo.
Ask me again when he’s a shirty 16 yo with a bad attitude and a hankering for a daft car!

I can't see us ever having a nice amount of money to be able to help out our children..

But we really want to be able to pay for them to have driving lessons.

If we can help with other stuff then we definitely will. But they are only 7, 5 and 1 atm.

I will support them as much as I can, but realistically we're a working class family - we're not going to be paying for house deposits or weddings.

I hope they don't go to uni, I think it's mostly a waste of money now and we won't be able to contribute.

No1 and 2 are past uni age now but we will do the same for No3.

Supported through uni (but tuition fees their own as we couldn’t pay those off).
Driving lessons, first car and first year’s insurance.
Mobile phones until after uni.
Gym membership
Money to bail out as needed
Generous birthday/Xmas presents to top up things needed/wanted.
Paid for all holidays (plus partners).